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<<set $header = 0>>\ <div style="text-align: center;">\ <p class="double">\ <br>CRYPT SHYFTER HOWLING FLAME<br> by kung fu space barbarian<br> </p>\ [[Start|CharCreater]] </div>\ <<set $hp = 10>>\ <<set $sexy = 0>>\ <<set $magic = 0>>\ <<set $sneaky = 0>>\ <<set $beefy = 0>>\ <<set $gold = 15>>\ <<set $pizza = 2>>\ <<set $inventory= []>>\ <<set $inventory.push("Empty")>>\ <<set $header = 1>>\<div style="text-align: center;">\ Are you a dude or a chick?<br> [[Dude|dude]] [[Chick|chick]] </div>\<<set $beefy += 1>>\ <div style="text-align: center;">\ READY PLAYER ONE.<br> [[Continue|ds]] </div>\<<set $sneaky += 1>>\ <div style="text-align: center;">\ READY PLAYER ONE.<br> [[Continue|ds]] </div>\<<set $sexy += 1>>\ <div style="text-align: center;">\ READY PLAYER ONE.<br> [[Continue|ds]] </div>\<<set $alien = "Vulma">>\ <<set $boygirl = "boy">>\ <div style="text-align: center;">\ Which best describes you?<br> [[Beefy|Beefy]] [[Sneaky|Sneaky]] [[Charming|Charming]] [[Magical|Magical]] </div>\<<set $alien = "Zalbraak">>\ <<set $boygirl = "girl">>\ <div style="text-align: center;">\ Which best describes you?<br> [[Beefy|Beefy]] [[Sneaky|Sneaky]] [[Charming|Charming]] [[Magical|Magical]] </div>\A magnificent pizza party is being held in your honor! It was exactly one year ago today that you defeated the dreaded Frozen King, Skagg, high atop the summit of Sunrise Peak.<br> [[Continue|next]]You are just about to dig into your next slice of bacon and sausage pizza when the doors to your Great Hall swing open and a frazzled looking peasant woman rushes in. She falls to the floor in a bloody heap, clutching at your ankles with her mangled fingers.<br> [[Continue|loylaf]]Two of your most loyal guards rush forward and point their spears at her.<br> [[What is the meaning of this!? Why have you disturbed my pizza party?|What is the meaning of this!? Why have you disturbed my pizza party?]] [[Guards! Hold! This woman is not a threat. Let her speak!|Guards! Hold! This woman is not a threat. Let her speak!]]PEASANT WOMAN: Please, you must help us! Our tribe was attacked by a Shyfter and our sacred gem was stolen. The Shyfter has fled into the ruins of an old forgotten crypt high up in the mountains. Some of our tribesman claim to have heard strange noises emanating from within. The beast must be using it as a lair! Please, will you help us?<br> [[I will slay the brute and return your sacred gem!|oooo]] [[Pizza parties are one way to celebrate great deeds, but a heroic quest is even better! I will hunt down this monster and bring you his head on a platter!|oooo]]The guards lower their spears and back away.<br> [[Continue|lether]]PEASANT WOMAN: Please, you must help us! Our tribe was attacked by a Shyfter and our sacred gem was stolen. The Shyfter has fled into the ruins of an old forgotten crypt high up in the mountains. Some of our tribesman claim to have heard strange noises emanating from within. The beast must be using it as a lair! Please, will you help us?<br> [[I will slay the brute and return your sacred gem!|oooo]] [[Pizza parties are one way to celebrate great deeds, but a heroic quest is even better! I will hunt down this monster and bring you his head on a platter!|oooo]]<<set $inventory.push("Sword")>>\ <<set $inventory.delete("Empty")>>\ You rise from your chair and exit the Great Hall, grabbing your sword on the way out. You head to the center of the village. Here you will find shops filled with supplies that will help you on your journey. Where do you want to go?<br> [[The blacksmith|The blacksmith]] [[The tavern|The tavern]] [[The village shaman|The village shaman]] [[Exit the village]]BLACKSMITH: Off on another adventure, barbarian? Very good! If it weren't for this bum leg I'd be out there fighting monsters too. What'll it be today?<br> [[Dagger (4 gold)|Two daggers (+1 sneakiness), 4gp)]] [[Katana (7 gold)|Two-handed sword (+1 beefiness, 8gp)]] [[Battle axe (12 gold)|Battle axe (+2 beefiness, 12gp)]] [[Leave|town]]SHAMAN: I knew you would be stopping by tonight. I am having a sale! Please browse my wares.<br> [[Magic book (4 gold)]] [[Voodoo stick (6 gold)]] [[Magic talisman (15 gold)]] [[Leave|town]]You exit the village and consider your options. You could take a canoe and sail across the Boiling Lake. However, you will probably need to make this journey on your own, for no tribesmen are crazy enough to disturb the glassy waters of the lake.<br> [[Continue|altern]]<<set $magic += 1>>\ <div style="text-align: center;">\ READY PLAYER ONE.<br> [[Continue|ds]] </div>\A katana will make you a little beefier! Buy a katana for 7 gold?<br> [[Buy|buykatana]] [[Back|blacksmith2]]A dagger will make you extra sneaky! Buy a dagger for 4 gold?<br> [[Buy|buydagger]] [[Back|blacksmith2]]A battle axe will make you extra beefy! Buy a battle axe for 12 gold?<br> [[Buy|buyaxe]] [[Back|blacksmith2]]Where do you want to go?<br> [[The blacksmith]] [[The tavern]] [[The village shaman]] [[Exit the village]]BLACKSMITH: Anything else?<br> [[Dagger (4 gold)|Two daggers (+1 sneakiness), 4gp)]] [[Katana (7 gold)|Two-handed sword (+1 beefiness, 8gp)]] [[Battle axe (12 gold)|Battle axe (+2 beefiness, 12gp)]] [[Leave|town]]<<if $gold gte 7>>\ <<set $gold -= 7>>\ <<set $inventory.push("Katana")>>\ <<set $beefy += 1>>\ You bought a katana. Beefy!<br> [[Back|blacksmith2]] <<else>>\ You don't have enough gold to buy that!<br> [[Back|blacksmith2]] <</if>>\<<if $gold gte 4>>\ <<set $gold -= 4>>\ <<set $inventory.push("Dagger")>>\ <<set $sneaky += 1>>\ You bought a dagger. Sneaky!<br> [[Back|blacksmith2]] <<else>>\ You don't have enough gold to buy that!<br> [[Back|blacksmith2]] <</if>>\<<if $gold gte 12>>\ <<set $gold -= 12>>\ <<set $inventory.push("Battle axe")>>\ <<set $beefy += 2>>\ You bought a battle axe. Beefy!<br> [[Back|blacksmith2]] <<else>>\ You don't have enough gold to buy that!<br> [[Back|blacksmith2]] <</if>>\The tavern is rowdy tonight. What do you want to do?<br> [[Get drunk]] [[Leave|town]]A magic book will make you little bit more magical. Buy a magic book for 4 gold?<br> [[Buy|buybook]] [[Back|shaman2]]A voodoo stick will make you extra magical! Buy a voodoo stick for 6 gold?<br> [[Buy|buystick]] [[Back|shaman2]]A magic talisman will increase all of your stats by 1! Buy a magic talisman for 15 gold?<br> [[Buy|buytalis]] [[Back|shaman2]]<<if $gold gte 4>>\ <<set $gold -= 4>>\ <<set $inventory.push("Magic book")>>\ <<set $magic += 1>>\ You bought a magic book. Hocus pocus!<br> [[Back|shaman2]] <<else>>\ You don't have enough gold to buy that!<br> [[Back|shaman2]] <</if>>\SHAMAN: Buy something!<br> [[Magic book (4 gold)]] [[Voodoo stick (6 gold)]] [[Magic talisman (15 gold)]] [[Leave|town]]<<if $gold gte 6>>\ <<set $gold -= 6>>\ <<set $inventory.push("Voodoo stick")>>\ <<set $magic += 2>>\ You bought a voodoo stick. Abra kadabra!<br> [[Back|shaman2]] <<else>>\ You don't have enough gold to buy that!<br> [[Back|shaman2]] <</if>>\<<if $gold gte 15>>\ <<set $gold -= 15>>\ <<set $inventory.push("Magic talisman")>>\ <<set $magic += 1>>\ <<set $sexy += 1>>\ <<set $sneaky += 1>>\ <<set $beefyy += 1>>\ You bought a magic talisman. All stats increased by 1!<br> [[Back|shaman2]] <<else>>\ You don't have enough gold to buy that!<br> [[Back|shaman2]] <</if>>\BARTENDER: What will it be tonight?<br> [[Fire water (1 gold)]] [[Gut puncher (3 gold)]] [[Death's Kiss (6 gold)]] [[Back|The tavern]]Fire water will make you little bit more charming. Buy fire water for 1 gold?<br> [[Buy|buyfirewater]] [[Back|bar2]]Gut puncher will make you little bit more beefy but a little bit less magical. Buy gut puncher for 3 gold?<br> [[Buy|buygutpunch]] [[Back|bar2]]Death's Kiss will make you VERY sneaky but will drop all your other stats by 1. Buy Death's Kiss for 6 gold?<br> [[Buy|buydeathkiss]] [[Back|bar2]]<<if $gold gte 1>>\ <<set $gold -= 1>>\ <<set $sexy += 1>>\ You took a shot of fire water. You are more charming!<br> [[Back|bar2]] <<else>>\ You don't have enough gold to buy that!<br> [[Back|bar2]] <</if>>\BARTENDER: What will it be tonight?<br> [[Fire water (1 gold)]] [[Gut puncher (3 gold)]] [[Death's Kiss (6 gold)]] [[Back|The tavern]]<<if $gold gte 3>>\ <<set $gold -= 3>>\ <<set $beefy += 1>>\ <<set $magic -= 1>>\ You took a shot of gut puncher. You are a little more beefy and a little less magical.<br> [[Back|bar2]] <<else>>\ You don't have enough gold to buy that!<br> [[Back|bar2]] <</if>>\<<if $gold gte 6>>\ <<set $gold -= 6>>\ <<set $beefy -= 1>>\ <<set $magic -= 1>>\ <<set $sexy -= 1>>\ <<set $sneaky += 3>>\ You took a shot of Death's Kiss. You are VERY sneaky now but you're terrible at everything else.<br> [[Back|bar2]] <<else>>\ You don't have enough gold to buy that!<br> [[Back|bar2]] <</if>>\Alternatively, you could take the mountain pass. This route could prove to be extremely dangerous, however, for it is home to the dreaded Cyclops, Oculus. He keeps his lair in the mountains and does not enjoy having guests intrude on his territory.<br> [[Cross the Boiling Lake in a canoe|Cross the Boiling Lake in a canoe]] [[Take the mountain pass and dare the wrath of Oculus the Cyclops|Take the mountain pass and dare the wrath of Oculus the Cyclops]]You head to the docks. Things are quiet tonight. The last few remaining fisherman are hauling in their catches for the evening.<br> [[Continue|oldman]]You exit the village and make your way towards the towering mountains. The air is silent- the only sound to be heard is your breathing and the sound of rocks crunching beneath your feet. A feeling of unease sets over you as you climb higher and higher into the mountains. After about an hour of traveling you come across the corpses of 3 dead lions.<br> [[Examine the lions]] [[Leave the lions alone]]SAILOR: You're not thinking of crossing the Boiling Lake, are you?<br> [[You bet I am!|You bet your ass I am!]] [[Uh... actually, I think I changed my mind.|Uh... actually, I think I changed my mind.]]SAILOR: You must be a loony! Nobody crosses the Boiling Lake- nobody! It's the home of the Fire Weavers. The Weavers are huge prehistoric skeletal beasts that breathe fire and live deep beneath the waves. Legends say that these are the creatures that create the waves and cause the lake to boil and roil.<br> [[Fire Weavers don't scare me!|nothingsj]] [[Legends and stories. Bah! I am a hero. Magical monsters are nothing to me!|nothingsj]]You turn around and make your way towards the towering mountains. The air is silent- the only sound to be heard is your breathing and the sound of rocks crunching beneath your feet. A feeling of unease sets over you as you climb higher and higher into the mountains. After about an hour of traveling you come across the corpses of 3 dead lions.<br> [[Examine the lions]] [[Leave the lions alone]]SAILOR: You're just as crazy as One-Armed Killgore! Maybe you two should set sail together!<br> [[Continue|togeht]]The sailor wanders off, shaking his head at your foolishness. You spot an old man sitting on the docks, splashing his feet in the water and singing an old love ballad.<br> [[Continue|lovegalld]]ONE-ARMED KILLGORE: A lover of the water, are ye? Folks call me One-Armed Killgore!<br> [[Why do they call you that? You have both arms.]] [[It's nice to meet you, One-Armed Killgore. I need a boat to sail across the lake.]]ONE-ARMED KILLGORE: Beats me.<br> [[It's nice to meet you, One-Armed Killgore. I need a boat to sail across the lake.]]ONE-ARMED KILLGORE: Planning on crossing the lake, are ye? When I was a boy I dared to brave the Boiling Lake in naught but a canoe with my lady love. It was a beautiful day, but then a terrible storm came upon us seemingly from nowhere.<br> [[Continue|olmandh]]ONE-ARMED KILLGORE: The waves rose higher than mountains and our little boat flipped over. I struggled to clamber back aboard, but my lady love sank to the fiery depths of the lake. It was then that I saw them... the great Fire Weavers were swirling deep beneath us! The last I saw of my lady love was her silhouette against the glow of their fiery breath.<br> [[Continue|finshtu]]ONE-ARMED KILLGORE: They devoured her and returned to the boiling depths without another sound. Ever since that day I have sworn that I would one day return and destroy the beast who took my love. The monster who devoured her was their king- Soulseeker. One day I will hold his bony skeleton aloft and avenge the death of my lady love!<br> [[Continue|endofhst]]You wipe away your tears after hearing the old man's story.<br> [[I will help you destroy Soulseeker.]] [[Perhaps if you take me across the lake, you will have your chance at revenge.]]The old man smiles.<br> [[Continue|oldsjh]]The old man smiles.<br> [[Continue|oldsjh]]ONE-ARMED KILLGORE: Follow me. I have just the vessel to take us.<br> [[Continue|theveelk]]You follow the old man to a rusty old canoe.<br> [[This!? This is what we're crossing the lake in??|fwitme]] [[You're messing with me, right?|fwitme]]ONE-ARMED KILLGORE: See these claw marks here? These were given to my dear old boat by Soulseeker himself. We will sail across the lake in the very boat that I was in when those beasts took my love.<br> [[Continue|uncertian]]You feel uncertain, but clearly no one else is crazy enough to take you across the lake, so it seems you have little choice. You hop into the tiny boat. It rocks dangerously from side to side and you fear it may easily tip over.<br> [[Continue|sljk]]You and the old man glide out into the lake, taking turns paddling and telling stories of your past adventures. It is nearly midnight when suddenly you spot an ominous glow from deep beneath the waves. Just then a giant skeletal monster fish attacks! Roll a 13 or higher to defeat it!<br> [[Kill it with your beefiness|dicecheck]] [[Kill it with magic]]<<set $roll = random(1,20) + $beefy>>\ <<if $roll gte 13>>\ Your roll: $roll Success!<br> The beast leaps high out of the lake spraying water in all directions. You grasp the creature by its head and tear it apart bone from bone with your bare hands. You toss the shattered spine back into the lake, but a dozen more fish rise up and circle around your boat!<br> [[Continue|dozenmore]] <<else>>\ <<set $hp -= 3>>\ Your roll: $roll Attempt failed!<br> The beast leaps high out of the lake spraying water in all directions. As it soars overhead it unleashes a wave of heat from its gullet, scorching your eyebrows. -3 HP. Just then a dozen more fish rise up and circle around your boat!<br> [[Continue|dozenmore]] <</if>>\It is at that moment that the old man stands and rips the pendant off a chain hanging around his neck. Holding it aloft to the night sky, he shouts, "This is for my lady love, you stinking fish monsters! Go quickly, barbarian, and find what you seek across the lake!"<br> [[Continue|oldfhterj]]Before you can stop him, the old man leaps into the lake. The skeletal monsters swarm around him and devour his body. You paddle as quickly as you can, desperate to escape from the carnage.<br> [[Continue|apsodu]]Your canoe bumps against the shore. You step out of the tiny boat and haul it onto the rocky beach. You can see two paths ahead: the first is a set of rickety wooden steps leading high up into the mountains. The second is the entrance to a cave- where it goes remains to be seen. Which way will you go?<br> [[Take the stairs]] [[Enter the cave]] <<if $pizza gte 1>>\ [[Eat pizza]] <</if>>\<<set $roll = random(1,20) + $magic>>\ <<if $roll gte 13>>\ Your roll: $roll Success!<br> The beast leaps high out of the lake spraying water in all directions. You blast the creature to smithereens with a bolt of lightning! Just then a dozen more fish rise up and circle around your boat!<br> [[Continue|dozenmore]] <<else>>\ <<set $hp -= 3>>\ Your roll: $roll Attempt failed!<br> The beast leaps high out of the lake spraying water in all directions. As it soars overhead it unleashes a wave of heat from its gullet, scorching your eyebrows. -3 HP. Just then a dozen more fish rise up and circle around your boat!<br> [[Continue|dozenmore]] <</if>>\You begin to climb the crumbling staircase. It seems to stretch on forever. You get about halfway up the steps when suddenly you hear a terrifying shriek. Looking up you can see enormous bat-like creatures circling in the sky. It is clear that they have made their nests here in the mountains- and you are an intruder!<br> [[Continue|batfight]]You make your way toward the cave when suddenly 15 undead fishmen spring out of the water! They surround you with their wooden spears. Their hair glitters with golden shells and their bodies are armored with coral plates.<br> [[Continue|fishmen]]Soon you are able to see the shoreline. You look back and realize that the fish are no longer pursuing you. The old man gave his life for your quest... what a hero. You can't help but feel like he has finally found peace with his lady love.<br> [[Continue|peace]]The flying beasts swoop down and attack! Roll a 12 or higher to defeat them.<br> [[Use magic|usejfkg]] [[Use your beefiness]]<<set $roll = random(1,20) + $magic>>\ <<if $roll gte 12>>\ Your roll: $roll Success!<br> You blast the bat-like creatures from the sky with fireballs and watch as their smoking bodies plummet to the beach far below. With the way ahead now clear, you scramble to the top of the mountain and enter into the dark tunnels that stand before you.<br> [[Continue|insidecave]] <<else>>\ <<set $hp -= 3>>\ Your roll: $roll Attempt failed!<br> You shoot fireballs at the bat-like creatures but they are tricky! They dodge your attacks and slash at you with their talons, dealing 3 damage. You finally manage to blast them from the sky and watch as their smoking bodies plummet to the beach far below. With the way ahead now clear, you scramble to the top of the mountain and enter into the dark tunnels that stand before you.<br> [[Continue|insidecave]] <</if>>\<<set $roll = random(1,20) + $beefy>>\ <<if $roll gte 12>>\ Your roll: $roll Success!<br> You swat the bat-like creatures from the sky and watch as their bodies plummet to the beach far below. With the way ahead now clear, you scramble to the top of the mountain and enter into the dark tunnels that stand before you.<br> [[Continue|insidecave]] <<else>>\ <<set $hp -= 3>>\ Your roll: $roll Attempt failed!<br> You swat at the bat-like creatures but they are tricky! They slash at you with their talons, dealing 3 damage. You smash them from the sky and watch as their bodies plummet to the beach far below. With the way ahead now clear, you scramble to the top of the mountain and enter into the dark tunnels that stand before you.<br> [[Continue|insidecave]] <</if>>\<<if $hp gte 1>>\ The cave is a foul-smelling tunnel, and it stretches on for what seems like miles. You walk on and on. Just when you are about to sit down for a break, you hear the sound of skittering feet.<br> [[Continue|breaktime]] <<else>>\ You have run out of HP... YOU ARE DEAD! <</if>>\You approach the corpses. It looks like their spines have been broken. You can also see tatters of bloody flesh lodged beneath their claws. As you examine the rest of the area around them, you realize that a vicious battle took place here. Something huge must have destroyed these lions.<br> [[Continue|Leave the lions alone]]You continue on your way when suddenly a giant boulder comes crashing down in front of you! Roll a 10 or higher to dodge.<br> [[ROLL|dongee]]<<set $roll = random(1,20) + $sneaky>>\ <<if $roll gte 10>>\ Your roll: $roll Success!<br> You leap out of the way just in the nick of time! You look up and see the silhouette of a giant Cyclops hoisting another boulder high above his head. He is preparing to hurl it down at you.<br> [[Continue|preparpit]] <<else>>\ <<set $hp -= 3>>\ Your roll: $roll Attempt failed!<br> You fail to move fast enough and you get pummeled by the giant boulder! -3 HP. You glance up and see the silhouette of a giant Cyclops hoisting another boulder high above his head. He is preparing to hurl it down at you.<br> [[Continue|preparpit]] <</if>>\You can see two possible means for escape: the first is a moss-covered cave entrance. That could provide nice cover. However, you also notice the entrance to the Cyclops's lair. Both shelters are equally close by. You must make your decision quickly or you will be crushed by the incoming boulders. Which way will you go?<br> [[Enter the cave|ethkej]] [[Enter the Cyclops's lair]]Roll an 11 or higher to make it safely into the cave!<br> [[ROLL|caverung]]Roll an 11 or higher to make it safely inside!<br> [[ROLL|caverunffg]]<<set $roll = random(1,20) + $sneaky>>\ <<if $roll gte 11>>\ Your roll: $roll Success!<br> You scurry out of the way just moments before the boulder smashes into the ground. You are now standing in the darkness of the cave. You're safe from the Cyclops... for now.<br> [[Continue|insidecave]] <<else>>\ <<set $hp -= 2>>\ Your roll: $roll Attempt failed!<br> You scramble towards the cave but you're too slow! The boulder smashes down on top of you, dealing 2 damage. You struggle to pull yourself inside the cave just moments before the Cyclops hurls another boulder at you. You are now standing in the darkness of the cave. You're safe from the Cyclops... for now.<br> [[Continue|insidecave]] <</if>>\<<set $roll = random(1,20) + $sneaky>>\ <<if $roll gte 11>>\ Your roll: $roll Success!<br> You rush inside the lair of the Cyclops and seal the door behind you just seconds before the brute hurls down another rock. You find yourself standing in a giant antechamber filled with fluffy cushions and pristine cutlery.<br> [[Continue|cutelrjry]] <<else>>\ <<set $hp -= 2>>\ Your roll: $roll Attempt failed!<br> You scramble towards the cave but you're too slow! The boulder smashes down on top of you, dealing 2 damage. You struggle to pull yourself inside the shelter just moments before the Cyclops hurls another boulder at you. You find yourself standing in a giant antechamber filled with fluffy cushions and pristine cutlery.<br> [[Continue|cutelrjry]] <</if>>\FISHMAN: You are not welcome here, Barbarian. This Sacred Cave belongs to the Fishmen of Kaltoum. None that are yet living may pass.<br> [[Please, you must let me pass! A Shyfter has stolen a sacred gem from one of our tribes. I must pass through this cave to recover the gem!|Please, you must let me pass! A terrible monster has stolen a sacred gem from one of our tribes. I must pass through this cave to recover the gem!]] [[Get out of my way or I'll slaughter the lot of you!]]VELACHAP THE FISHMAN: Hmm... Your tale brings great sadness to our hearts, Barbarian. The secret gem of the fishmen has also been stolen. Perhaps the same Shyfter that took your gem is the one that took ours? Let us propose a truce! I will go with you on this Quest and together we will defeat this monster and reclaim what is ours.<br> [[Deal!]] [[Nah, I'd rather just kill you little weirdos.]]Roll a 13 or higher to defeat the fishmen!<br> [[Attack them with magic]] [[Fight them with your muscles]]You and Velachap the fishman enter the cave. It is a foul-smelling tunnel, and it stretches on for what seems like miles. You walk on and on. Just when you are about to sit down for a break, you hear the sound of skittering feet.<br> [[What else lives in this cave, Velachap?]] [[Is that one of your soldiers coming to greet us?]] <<if $pizza gte 1>>\ [[Eat pizza]] <</if>>\Roll a 13 or higher to defeat the fishmen!<br> [[Attack them with magic]] [[Fight them with your muscles]]VELACHAP THE FISHMAN: Few enter this cave and return, Barbarian. No one knows what lives inside. There are only rumors. Some say that a God lives within these tunnels.<br> [[Why didn't you tell me this before?|godhuh]] [[A God, huh? I hope it's a peaceful God.|godhuh]]VELACHAP THE FISHMAN: It is unlikely. Few enter this cave and return, Barbarian. No one knows what lives inside. There are only rumors. Some say that a God lives within these tunnels.<br> [[Why didn't you tell me this before?|godhuh]] [[A God, huh? I hope it's a peaceful God.|godhuh]]Just then a giant scorpion smashes through the wall of the tunnel! It snaps at you with its giant claws. Roll an 11 to defeat it.<br> [[Rip its arms off]] [[Shoot it with spells]]<<set $roll = random(1,20) + $magic>>\ <<if $roll gte 13>>\ Your roll: $roll Success!<br> You cast a spell that makes the fishmen explode! They're super squishy, so their guts and brains splatter all over the beach. Once the fishmen are nothing more than puddles of goo, you enter the cave.<br> [[Continue|insidecave]] <<else>>\ <<set $hp -= 4>>\ Your roll: $roll Attempt failed!<br> The fishmen snarl and stab you repeatedly with their spears! -4 HP. Enraged, you cast a spell that makes the fishmen explode! They're squishy, so their guts and brains splatter all over the beach. Once the fishmen are nothing more than puddles of goo, you enter the cave.<br> [[Continue|insidecave]] <</if>>\<<set $roll = random(1,20) + $beefy>>\ <<if $roll gte 13>>\ Your roll: $roll Success!<br> You beat the fishmen into a pulp! They're squishy, so their guts and brains splatter all over the beach. Once the fishmen are nothing more than puddles of goo, you enter the cave.<br> [[Continue|insidecave]] <<else>>\ <<set $hp -= 4>>\ Your roll: $roll Attempt failed!<br> The fishmen snarl and stab you repeatedly with their spears! -4 HP. You beat the fishmen into a pulp! They're squishy, so their guts and brains splatter all over the beach. Once the fishmen are nothing more than puddles of goo, you enter the cave.<br> [[Continue|insidecave]] <</if>>\Just then a giant scorpion smashes through the wall of the tunnel! It snaps at you with its giant claws. Roll an 11 to defeat it.<br> [[Rip its arms off|ppp]] [[Shoot it with spells|9iri]]<<set $roll = random(1,20) + $beefy>>\ <<if $roll gte 11>>\ Your roll: $roll Success!<br> You battle the giant scorpion. The beast thrashes about, swatting you aside with its tail. Undaunted, you pick up your sword and stab the monster in the belly, slashing it all the way from neck to tail. The beast's guts squirt all over the floor.<br> [[Continue|insidecavehrs]] <<else>>\ <<set $hp -= 5>>\ Your roll: $roll Attempt failed!<br> You battle the giant scorpion. The beast thrashes about, swatting you aside with its tail. -5 HP!<br> [[Continue|insidecavehddr65s]] <</if>>\<<set $roll = random(1,20) + $magic>>\ <<if $roll gte 11>>\ Your roll: $roll Success!<br> You battle the giant scorpion. The beast thrashes about, swatting you aside with its tail. Undaunted, you cast a spell on your sword. The blade shoots into the air and stabs the monster in the belly, slashing it all the way from neck to tail. The beast's guts squirt all over the floor.<br> [[Continue|insidecavehrs]] <<else>>\ <<set $hp -= 5>>\ Your roll: $roll Attempt failed!<br> You battle the giant scorpion. The beast thrashes about, swatting you aside with its tail. -5 HP!<br> [[Continue|insidecavehddr65s]] <</if>>\<<set $roll = random(1,20) + $beefy>>\ <<if $roll gte 11>>\ Your roll: $roll Success!<br> You and Velachap battle the giant scorpion. The beast thrashes about, swatting you aside with its tail. It chops the fishman in half with its mighty pincer! You pick up your sword and stab the monster in the belly, slashing it all the way from neck to tail. The beast's guts squirt all over the floor.<br> [[Continue|insidecavehrs]] <<else>>\ <<set $hp -= 5>>\ Your roll: $roll Attempt failed!<br> You and Velachap battle the giant scorpion. The beast thrashes about, swatting you aside with its tail. -5 HP!<br> [[Continue|insidecavehr65s]] <</if>>\<<set $roll = random(1,20) + $magic>>\ <<if $roll gte 11>>\ Your roll: $roll Success!<br> You battle the giant scorpion. The beast thrashes about, swatting you aside with its tail. It chops the fishman in half with its mighty pincer! Furious, you cast a spell on your sword. The blade shoots into the air and stabs the monster in the belly, slashing it all the way from neck to tail. The beast's guts squirt all over the floor.<br> [[Continue|insidecavehrs]] <<else>>\ <<set $hp -= 5>>\ Your roll: $roll Attempt failed!<br> You battle the giant scorpion. The beast thrashes about, swatting you aside with its tail. -5 HP!<br> [[Continue|insidecavehr65s]] <</if>>\What do you want to do?<br> [[Loot the body]] [[Leave]]You emerge into the night air. The mountains are bathed in moonlight. As you walk down the path a strange feeling arises to meet you. Dark magic is at work here...<br> [[Continue|upahehj]]<<if $hp gte 1>>\ The scorpion chops the fishman in half with its mighty pincer! You pick up your sword and stab the monster in the belly, slashing it all the way from neck to tail. The beast's guts squirt all over the floor.<br> [[Continue|insidecavehrs]] <<else>>\ You have run out of HP... YOU ARE DEAD! <</if>>\<<if $hp gte 1>>\ You pick up your sword and stab the monster in the belly, slashing it all the way from neck to tail. The beast's guts squirt all over the floor.<br> [[Continue|insidecavehrs]] <<else>>\ You have run out of HP... YOU ARE DEAD! <</if>>\The doorway ahead is blocked by a giant spider web. You draw your sword and slash your way through the web, walking deeper into the Cyclops's lair.<br> [[Continue|deepinelrj]]There is a long hallway made of stone stretching ahead of you.<br> [[Walk carefully and check for traps]] [[Sprint through]] <<if $pizza gte 1>>\ [[Eat pizza]] <</if>>\You notice a tile on the floor that looks like a pressure plate. You are careful to avoid it so as not to spring a trap. There are several more tiles scattered across the floor with a similar appearance. You skillfully avoid each one of them. You heave a deep sigh of relief once you reach the far side of the hallway.<br> [[Continue|cutelrjdddry]]You charge across the hallway heedless of danger. What you fail to notice is that there are several stone pressure plates beneath your feet! You trigger one of the traps and suddenly the hallway is filled with swinging blades and whirring buzzsaws. Roll a 16 or higher to avoid the traps!<br> [[ROLL|trapdodge]]<<set $roll = random(1,20) + $sneaky>>\ <<if $roll gte 11>>\ Your roll: $roll Success!<br> You do cartwheels and backflips down the hallway, gracefully avoiding the traps as they pop out like metal death blades playing hide and seek. You heave a deep sigh of relief once you reach the far side of the hallway.<br> [[Continue|cutelrjdddry]] <<else>>\ <<set $hp -= 3>>\ Your roll: $roll Attempt failed!<br> You stumble through the gauntlet of death, getting shredded left and right by swinging blades and chopping knives. -3 HP.<br> [[Continue|cusstelrjryrty]] <</if>>\The path here splits. To your left you can see a great Banquet Hall beyond a set of elaborately decorated doors. To your right you can hear a sad old voice singing pirate shanties.<br> [[Enter the Banquet Hall]] [[Follow the sound of singing]] <<if $pizza gte 1>>\ [[Eat pizza]] <</if>>\<<if $hp gte 1>>\ You heave a deep sigh of relief once you reach the far side of the hallway.<br> [[Continue|cutelrjdddry]] <<else>>\ You have run out of HP... YOU ARE DEAD! <</if>>\You enter the grand hall. Just then you hear the mighty booming laughter of Oculus!<br> [[Continue|laughter]]You follow the sound of singing and soon find yourself standing in a dungeon made of stone. There are several locked cells filled with the skeletal remains of long-dead prisoners, but in the last cell you find an occupant that is still alive. A tiny goblin with floppy gray ears sits on the floor inside, rocking back and forth and singing to himself.<br> [[Continue|singingjsl]]<<set $hp = 10>>\ <<set $pizza -= 1>>\ Pizza time! HP restored.<br> <<return "Back">>ROTGUT THE GOBLIN: Ker-foblin the goblin had a very big nose, It was hairy and lumpy and incredibly gross! He kissed all the ladies and insulted the men, They got so fed up they turned him into a hen!<br> [[Ask about Ker-foblin the goblin]] [[Open the cell door]]ROTGUT THE GOBLIN: Not much else to say about Ker-foblin! Ain't you been listening? He's a hen! The people hated his ulgy nose and turned him into a hen! That's Ker-foblin for ya! Ha!<br> [[Talk to Rotgut]] [[Leave Rotgun in the cell]] [[Open the cell door]]Using your mighty barbarian muscles, you pry open the bars wide enough for the goblin to escape. You and Rotgut exit the dungeon and enter the Banquet Hall.<br> [[Continue|insidebangy]]ROTGUT THE GOBLIN: Wait, barbarian! Please don't leave me here! My name is Rotgut, and I am the servant of Oculus. He keeps me locked in this rotten cell while he goes out to hunt. Then he forces me to cook food for him when he returns. He beats me and makes me to scrub the floors and toilets. Please, barbarian, free me from this prison! I don't want to die in these dreadful halls!<br> [[Leave Rotgut to die]] [[Open the cell door]]You exit the dungeon and enter the Banquet Hall. Rotgut's curses follow you the whole way.<br> [[Continue|insidebangy]]Just then you hear the mighty booming laughter of Oculus!<br> [[Continue|laughter]]<<if visited(">Open the cell door")>>\ OCULUS: So! You think you can free my slave, trespass in my home, and pass through these halls without consequence? NAY! I shall smite thee!<br> [[Continue|ocattack]] <<else>>\ OCULUS: So! You think you can walk through my mountains, trespass in my home, and pass through these halls without consequence? NAY! I shall smite thee!<br> [[Continue|ocattackalone]] <</if>>\Roll a 14 or higher to defeat Oculus!<br> [[Sneak past him like a ninja]] [[Shoot magic out of your butt]] [[Karate chop him]]Roll a 14 or higher to defeat Oculus!<br> [[Sneak past him like a ninja|3645]] [[Shoot magic out of your butt|butt437]] [[Karate chop him|nutye644]]<<set $roll = random(1,20) + $sneaky>>\ <<if $roll gte 14>>\ Your roll: $roll Success!<br> You grab Rotgut and slip into the shadows. The Cyclops begins smashing through the room searching for you, but it is useless. You are long gone, and the Cyclops is left alone to destroy his house in a rage.<br> [[Continue|escapeclops]] <<else>>\ <<set $hp -= 5>>\ Your roll: $roll Attempt failed!<br> Oculus tracks your movement and throws a table at you! The table smashes into a thousand pieces. -5 HP.<br> [[Continue|ouchtalbe]] <</if>>\<<set $roll = random(1,20) + $magic>>\ <<if $roll gte 14>>\ Your roll: $roll Success!<br> You pull down your pants and fart lightning at the Cyclops! Your lightning fart hits him right in the eyeball. The Cyclops goes blind, then the rancid smell hits him and he dies instantly. With the Cyclops dead, you and Rotgut are able to safely exit the lair.<br> [[Continue|escapeclops]] <<else>>\ <<set $hp -= 5>>\ Your roll: $roll Attempt failed!<br> Oculus throws a table at you! The table smashes into a thousand pieces. -5 HP.<br> [[Continue|ouchtalbe]] <</if>>\<<set $roll = random(1,20) + $beefy>>\ <<if $roll gte 14>>\ Your roll: $roll Success!<br> You drop into a kung fu pose and then spring into action like a coiled cobra. You karate chop Oculus in the belly! He grunts in pain and doubles over. You use the opportunity to stab out his eyeball with your sword. The brute flops to the ground in a puddle of eye goo and blood. With Oculus dead, you and Rotgut are able to safely exit the chambers.<br> [[Continue|escapeclops]] <<else>>\ <<set $hp -= 5>>\ Your roll: $roll Attempt failed!<br> Oculus throws a table at you! The table smashes into a thousand pieces. -5 HP.<br> [[Continue|ouchtalbe]] <</if>>\You emerge into the night air. The mountains are bathed in moonlight. As you walk down the path a strange feeling arises to meet you. Dark magic is at work here...<br> [[Continue|upahehj]]<<if $hp gte 1>>\ You grab Rotgut and flee the room. The Cyclops smashes things in his rage, but you're too quick. You and Rotgut safely exit the beast's lair.<br> [[Continue|escapeclops]] <<else>>\ You have run out of HP... YOU ARE DEAD! <</if>>\<<set $roll = random(1,20) + $sneaky>>\ <<if $roll gte 14>>\ Your roll: $roll Success!<br> You slip into the shadows. The Cyclops begins smashing through the room searching for you, but it is useless. You are long gone, and the Cyclops is left alone to destroy his house in a rage.<br> [[Continue|escapeclops2]] <<else>>\ <<set $hp -= 5>>\ Your roll: $roll Attempt failed!<br> Oculus tracks your movement and throws a table at you! The table smashes into a thousand pieces. -5 HP.<br> [[Continue|ouchtalbed]] <</if>>\<<set $roll = random(1,20) + $magic>>\ <<if $roll gte 14>>\ Your roll: $roll Success!<br> You pull down your pants and fart lightning at the Cyclops! Your lightning fart hits him right in the eyeball. The Cyclops goes blind, then the rancid smell hits him and he dies instantly. With the Cyclops dead, you are able to safely exit the lair.<br> [[Continue|escapeclops2]] <<else>>\ <<set $hp -= 5>>\ Your roll: $roll Attempt failed!<br> Oculus throws a table at you! The table smashes into a thousand pieces. -5 HP.<br> [[Continue|ouchtalbed]] <</if>>\<<set $roll = random(1,20) + $beefy>>\ <<if $roll gte 14>>\ Your roll: $roll Success!<br> You drop into a kung fu pose and then spring into action like a coiled cobra. You karate chop Oculus in the belly! He grunts in pain and doubles over. You use the opportunity to stab out his eyeball with your sword. The brute flops to the ground in a puddle of eye goo and blood. With Oculus dead, you are able to safely exit the chambers.<br> [[Continue|escapeclops2]] <<else>>\ <<set $hp -= 5>>\ Your roll: $roll Attempt failed!<br> Oculus throws a table at you! The table smashes into a thousand pieces. -5 HP.<br> [[Continue|ouchtalbed]] <</if>>\<<if $hp gte 1>>\ You flee the room. The Cyclops smashes things in his rage, but you're too quick. You safely exit the beast's lair.<br> [[Continue|escapeclops2]] <<else>>\ You have run out of HP... YOU ARE DEAD! <</if>>\You emerge into the night air. The mountains are bathed in moonlight. As you walk down the path a strange feeling arises to meet you. Dark magic is at work here...<br> [[Continue|upahehj]]Then you see it: just up ahead, where the crypt should be, you see dozens of floating rocks. As you turn your gaze higher you realize that the crypt itself has been ripped out of the ground and is now floating high above the earth!<br> [[By Shergblatt's hairy buttcrack!|floehfj]] [[Slap my butt and call me a monkey!|floehfj]]The floating stones create a haunting staircase that you will have to ascend if you hope to enter the crypt. Your ascent will be treacherous! Roll a 10 or higher to see if you are skilled enough to ascend the staircase.<br> [[ROLL|rollcheckjd]]<<set $roll = random(1,20) + $sneaky>>\ <<if $roll gte 10>>\ Your roll: $roll Success!<br> You leap from rock to rock with graceful agility and finally come to the entrance of the crypt. You push open the heavy stone gateway and enter into the darkness.<br> [[Continue|escapecl09ops]] <<else>>\ Your roll: $roll Attempt failed!<br> You slip on the rocks and plummet to your death... YOU ARE DEAD! <</if>>\<<if visited("ocattack")>>\ You and Rotgut stand in the crypt's spooky antechamber. This crypt is the final resting place for the Barbarian Kings and Queens of the Northern Tribe. And like all barbarian crypts, this one is a tangled maze of deadly traps and endless tunnels.<br> [[Continue|enterthecryh]] <<else>>\ You stand in the crypt's spooky antechamber. This crypt is the final resting place for the Barbarian Kings and Queens of the Northern Tribe. And like all barbarian crypts, this one is a tangled maze of deadly traps and endless tunnels.<br> [[Continue|enterthecryh]] <</if>>\Up ahead you see two paths meant to thwart would-be grave robbers. One pathway leads down a flight of carved stone steps. You can hear nothing but the howl of cold air rushing through the tunnel in that direction. The other pathway leads across a crumbling stone bridge. The bridge leads across an enormous gaping void. There are no handrails, so losing your balance would mean instant death.<br> [[Go down the steps]] [[Cross the bridge]]You head down the stairs and find yourself standing in an empty stone room. Suddenly the ground beneath your feet crumbles away and you fall into a snake-infested pit! The serpents swarm around you, eager for a meal. Roll a 12 or higher to defeat them.<br> [[Do some cool stomp dancing to crush the snakes]] [[Take a magical dump on the floor]]You head towards the crumbling stone bridge. Just then a mighty 4-armed statue warrior drops from the ceiling! Why in Shergblatt's heavenly name was there a statue hanging from the ceiling? Who knows, but now you have to fight it! Roll a 13 or higher to defeat it.<br> [[Roundhouse kick it into the abyss]] [[Turn it into a goat with magic]]<<set $roll = random(1,20) + $beefy>>\ <<if $roll gte 12>>\ Your roll: $roll Success!<br> You battle the snakes with great heroics- mostly by dancing around and stomping your feet, squashing their heads in the process. You grab two of the slimy monsters and start smacking them together like a baby playing with toys. You are just finishing up with your impressive stomping techniques when you hear a soft hissing voice.<br> [[Continue|escapeclopsvoice]] <<else>>\ <<set $hp -= 3>>\ Your roll: $roll Attempt failed!<br> The snakes bite you in the butt. -3 HP.<br> [[Continue|ouchtalfe32be]] <</if>>\<<set $roll = random(1,20) + $magic>>\ <<if $roll gte 12>>\ Your roll: $roll Success!<br> You take a magical dump on the floor. Your barbaric turd comes to life and slaughters the snakes. You wipe your butt on a snake skin. At that moment you hear a soft hissing voice.<br> [[Continue|escapeclopsvoice]] <<else>>\ <<set $hp -= 3>>\ Your roll: $roll Attempt failed!<br> The snakes bite you in the butt. -3 HP.<br> [[Continue|ouchtalfe32be]] <</if>>\VOIDFANG THE SERPENT QUEEN: New meat for my desires! I will sate to my appetite on barbarian flesh!<br> [[Choke on my sword, demon!]] [[O Great Serpent Queen, I bid ye let me pass!]]<<if $hp gte 1>>\ Enraged, you begin slaughtering the snakes by stomping on their heads. It's a gorefest. You are just finishing up with your impressive stomping techniques when you hear a soft hissing voice.<br> [[Continue|escapeclopsvoice]] <<else>>\ You have run out of HP... YOU ARE DEAD! <</if>>\Roll a 13 or higher to defeat Voidfang!<br> [[Shove your sword in her mouth]] [[Use magic jazz fingers]]VOIDFANG THE SERPENT QUEEN: Let you pass, hmmm? Yes, perhaps I could be persuaded to allow you to pass... but I would need you to give me something in return. Do you have goblin flesh with you?<br> [[No.]] <<if visited("ocattack")>>\ [[Yes.]] <</if>>\VOIDFANG THE SERPENT QUEEN: Then I am afraid I cannot allow you to pass. DIE!!<br> [[Continue|rolehfhjkg]]The Serpent Queen hisses with delight.<br> [[Give her Rotgut to devour]] [[Attack her]]Rotgut struggles to escape, but you are too strong. You pick him up and hurl him at the Serpent Queen. She gobbles him up in one bite. Voidfang licks her snout and descends back into the darkness with a hiss, allowing you to pass safely. You continue on into the innermost chambers of the crypt.<br> [[Continue|inehrhh]]Roll a 13 or higher to defeat Voidfang!<br> [[Shove your sword in her mouth]] [[Use magic jazz fingers]]Roll a 13 or higher to defeat Voidfang!<br> [[Shove your sword in her mouth]] [[Use magic jazz fingers]]<<set $roll = random(1,20) + $beefy>>\ <<if $roll gte 13>>\ Your roll: $roll Success!<br> You leap forward and stab your sword down Voidfang's throat! She coughs out blood and flops to the ground, dead.<br> [[Continue|lootvoidfang]] <<else>>\ Your roll: $roll Attempt failed!<br> Voidfang springs forward and bites your shoulder. Her fangs are laced with magical void energy that sends your body spiraling into the dark nothingness of eternity... YOU ARE DEAD! <</if>>\<<set $roll = random(1,20) + $magic>>\ <<if $roll gte 13>>\ Your roll: $roll Success!<br> You cast a spell using magical jazz fingers. Voidfang's throat crunches in on itself and her eyes bulge out! She coughs out blood and flops to the ground, dead.<br> [[Continue|lootvoidfang]] <<else>>\ Your roll: $roll Attempt failed!<br> Voidfang springs forward and bites your shoulder. Her fangs are laced with magical void energy that sends your body spiraling into the dark nothingness of eternity... YOU ARE DEAD! <</if>>\This final room is lit by eerie torchlight. In the far corner of the room you can see a mysterious figure performing some sort of arcane ritual.<br> [[Hide]] <<if $pizza gte 1>>\ [[Eat pizza]] <</if>>\<<set $roll = random(1,20) + $beefy>>\ <<if $roll gte 13>>\ Your roll: $roll Success!<br> You dodge the statue's 4-armed attacks and deliver a crushing roundhouse kick to its face, sending it crashing into the dark abyss far below. With the statue defeated you can now cross the bridge.<br> [[Continue|escapeclopsvoifdgdce]] <<else>>\ <<set $hp -= 4>>\ Your roll: $roll Attempt failed!<br> The statue smashes you repeatedly with its swords! -4 HP.<br> [[Continue|ouchtalfe32hhbe]] <</if>>\<<set $roll = random(1,20) + $magic>>\ <<if $roll gte 13>>\ Your roll: $roll Success!<br> You dodge the statue's 4-armed attacks and fire a spell right into its face! The statue turns into a derpy looking goat and starts sniffing around for grass to eat. With the statue defeated you can now cross the bridge.<br> [[Continue|escapeclopsvoifdgdce]] <<else>>\ <<set $hp -= 4>>\ Your roll: $roll Attempt failed!<br> The statue smashes you repeatedly with its swords! -4 HP.<br> [[Continue|ouchtalfe32hhbe]] <</if>>\<<set $beefy += 1>>\ You extract some of the scorpion's venom and paint it across your sword. +1 beefiness!<br> [[Continue|Leave]]Eager to be gone from this place, you sprint forward and exit the tunnels.<br> [[Continue|outsidetunnelsend]]Roll a 10 or higher to see if you can cross it safely.<br> [[ROLL|tenor]]<<set $roll = random(1,20) + $sneaky>>\ <<if $roll gte 11>>\ Your roll: $roll Success!<br> Using your cat-like dexterity, you deftly cross the bridge without misplacing a foot. Once you are safely across the gap, you are able to enter into the innermost chambers of the crypt of the Barbarian kings.<br> [[Continue|inehrhh]] <<else>>\ You slip off the edge of the bridge and plummet into the abyss... YOU ARE DEAD! <</if>>\<<if $hp gte 1>>\ Using a sudden burst of energy, you spring forward and drop kick the statue, sending it crashing into the dark abyss far below. With the statue defeated you can now cross the bridge.<br> [[Continue|escapeclopsvoifdgdce]] <<else>>\ You have run out of HP... YOU ARE DEAD! <</if>>\HOWLING FLAME: A barbarian yet lives in this awful place? Hmm. Have you come for the gemstone? I am afraid your journey has been a waste of time. This stone contains magic far more powerful than anything I have ever seen in this world or any other. I will not be giving it up that easily.<br> [[Perhaps I could persuade you to give it up?]] [[I wasn't asking for it. I'm just going to kick the crap out of you, Shyfter slime!]]What do you want to do?<br> [[Loot Voidfang's corpse]] [[Leave|teyrhg]] <<if $pizza gte 1>>\ [[Eat pizza]] <</if>>\<<set $inventory.push("Voidfang")>>\ You rip out one of Voidfang's voidfangs! Voidfang added to inventory. Stab an enemy with this to banish them into the void!<br> [[Continue|teyrhg]]<<if visited("ocattack")>>\ You turn to Rotgut.<br> [[This final chamber will be too dangerous. Wait here while I deal with the monster ahead.]] [[You have been a faithful companion, Rotgut, and I would hate to see you get hurt. You should leave and find happiness elsewhere in this world.]] <<else>>\ You continue on into the innermost chambers of the crypt.<br> [[Continue|inehrhh]] <</if>>\ROTGUT: I will do as you say, barbarian. Please be careful!<br> [[Continue|sdggh]]The goblin wipes away his tears and gives you a big hug around your leg (he is very tiny, after all). You pat the little guy on the head and he thanks you again for saving him from such a terrible fate. He promises to become your pen pal and write letters every so often. With a final wave, Rotgut exits the crypt.<br> [[Continue|sdggh]]You continue on into the innermost chambers of the crypt.<br> [[Continue|inehrhh]]Howling Flame laughs. He holds the gem high above his head and with a mighty oath summons the long-dead Barbarian Kings and Queens from their resting places. The coffins around you smash open and suddenly you are surrounded by an army of undead barbarian royalty!<br> [[Continue|barbariandifht]]Howling Flame laughs. He holds the gem high above his head and with a mighty oath summons the long-dead Barbarian Kings and Queens from their resting places. The coffins around you smash open and suddenly you are surrounded by an army of undead barbarian royalty!<br> [[Continue|barbariandifht]]HOWLING FLAME: Bring me the barbarian's head, my hideous minions! Our ranks will grow in number tonight!<br> [[Continue|routlsh]]Roll a 13 or higher to defeat them!<br> [[Create a magical explosion]] [[Spin around like a sword tornado]]You hide behind one of the crumbling stone pillars, but your presence has been detected.<br> [[Continue|preslenjg]]<<set $roll = random(1,20) + $magic>>\ <<if $roll gte 13>>\ Your roll: $roll Success!<br> You battle your ancestors in a glorious fight of barbarian beauty. It is an earth-shattering struggle. You smash the ground with your fist and cause a huge magical explosion. The barbarians are ripped apart by magic. You have sent them back to their eternal rest once again.<br> [[Continue|lootvoidfanggggg]] <<else>>\ <<set $hp -= 4>>\ Your roll: $roll Attempt failed!<br> The barbarians surround you and shank you with swords! -4 HP.<br> [[Continue|dedcheskcj]] <</if>>\<<set $roll = random(1,20) + $beefy>>\ <<if $roll gte 13>>\ Your roll: $roll Success!<br> You battle your ancestors in a glorious fight of barbarian beauty. It is an earth-shattering struggle, but you finally manage to smash the ancient warriors to pieces with your sword tornado attack, sending them once more back to their eternal rest.<br> [[Continue|lootvoidfanggggg]] <<else>>\ <<set $hp -= 4>>\ Your roll: $roll Attempt failed!<br> The barbarians surround you and shank you with swords! -4 HP.<br> [[Continue|dedcheskcj]] <</if>>\With the Barbarian Lords and Ladies destroyed, nothing now stands between you and the evil Shyfter, Howling Flame.<br> [[Continue|howlingfight]]HOWLING FLAME: It seems the power of the barbarians has been exaggerated. Your power, however, is beyond any I have witnessed before. Join me and together we will harness the unknowable magics of the cosmos!<br> [[Shove it up your butt.|5655e6e556]] [[I'd rather drink liquid cow farts than join a Shyfter!|5655e6e556]]<<if $hp gte 1>>\ You rise up and battle your ancestors in a glorious fight of barbarian beauty. It is an earth-shattering struggle, but you finally manage to smash the ancient warriors to pieces, sending them once more back to their eternal rest.<br> [[Continue|lootvoidfanggggg]] <<else>>\ You have run out of HP... YOU ARE DEAD! <</if>>\Howling Flame roars with rage. Roll a 12 or higher to dodge his attacks!<br> [[ROLL|dodgjtkh]] <<if visited(">Loot Voidfang's corpse")>>\ [[Stab him with the Voidfang]] <</if>>\<<set $roll = random(1,20) + $sneaky>>\ <<if $roll gte 12>>\ Your roll: $roll Success!<br> The Shyfter immediately transforms into a charging bull. You stand your ground, feet firmly planted, and grab the bull by its horns. You smash the Shyfter into the wall, sending rocks crumbling down on top of him. He roars in fury and in a burst of magical flame he rises once again as a fiery wolf.<br> [[Continue|lshygffight]] <<else>>\ <<set $hp -= 4>>\ Your roll: $roll Attempt failed!<br> The Shyfter immediately transforms into a charging bull. He smashes into you at full speed! -4 HP.<br> [[Continue|dedcheskcsfdfj]] <</if>>\Roll a 14 or higher to dodge Howling Flame's attacks!<br> [[ROLL|dodgjtksafh]] <<if visited(">Loot Voidfang's corpse")>>\ [[Stab him with the Voidfang]] <</if>>\<<if $hp gte 1>>\ You stagger to your feet. In a burst of magical flame, the Shyfter morphs into a fiery wolf!<br> [[Continue|lshygffight]] <<else>>\ You have run out of HP... YOU ARE DEAD! <</if>>\<<set $roll = random(1,20) + $sneaky>>\ <<if $roll gte 12>>\ Your roll: $roll Success!<br> You leap to the side as the Shyfter dashes past you. You spin around, snatch up the sacred gem, and hold it over your head.<br> [[Continue|winendne]] <<else>>\ <<set $hp -= 5>>\ Your roll: $roll Attempt failed!<br> The Shyfter tackles you to the ground and begins clawing at your face! -5 HP.<br> [[Continue|dedcheskcsggggfdfj]] <</if>>\You speak the ancient magic words of the barbarian tribes. Suddenly you feel powerful energy glowing from within the magical gem. Just then an almighty magical beam of energy bursts out of the gem like an arrow from a bow and pierces the Shyfter in the middle of the chest. Howling Flame explodes into a burst of magical confetti.<br> [[Continue|endisnight]]You shove the Shyfter away and sprint across the room, snatching up the sacred gem. You hold it over your head.<br> [[Continue|winendne]]You drive the magical Voidfang into the Shyfter's chest. Howling Flame explodes into a burst of magical confetti and then ceases to exist, banished to a realm beyond the void.<br> [[Continue|endisnight]]You heave a sigh of relief as you place the gemstone carefully inside your satchel. With your quest complete, it is time to return home.<br> [[Continue|returnhome]]<<if visited(">This final chamber will be too dangerous. Wait here while I deal with the monster ahead.")>>\ You rejoin with Rotgut and the two of you head back to your village. You arrive to the sound of cheering and celebration. Your fellow tribesmen pat you on the back and mess up your hair as you hold the magic gem above your head. It is a well-deserved hero's welcome!<br> [[Continue|theend]] <<else>>\ You arrive back in your village with the gemstone in hand. The villagers cry out in joy and celebration. Everyone pats you on the back and messes up your hair as you hold the magic gem above your head. It is a well-deserved hero's welcome!<br> [[Continue|theend]] <</if>>\There will be time to restore the gem to its rightful home later, but for now there is much celebrating that must be done! You recline back in your chair and gobble up as much pizza as you can eat. All is well in the world once again... until the next exciting episode of CRYPT SHYFTER!<br> [[THE END!]]CONGRATULATIONS! You win.<br> Thanks for playing!What do you want to say?<br> [[Why are you locked in this cell?]] [[What happened to that troll in the cell next to you? It looks like somebody ripped his nose off!]]ROTGUT THE GOBLIN: Please don't leave me here! My name is Rotgut, and I am the servant of Oculus. He keeps me locked in this rotten cell while he goes out to hunt. Then he forces me to cook food for him when he returns. He beats me and makes me to scrub the floors and toilets. Please, barbarian, free me from this prison! I don't want to die in these dreadful halls!<br> [[What happened to that troll in the cell next to you? It looks like somebody ripped his nose off!]] [[Leave Rotgut to die]] [[Open the cell door]]ROTGUT THE GOBLIN: Who, him? Oh, that's Grinder. He was an idiot. He kept insulting the master in a feeble attempt to provoke him. Oculus finally got sick of his crap and ate his nose off. Grinder should have learned to hold his tonuge.<br> [[Why are you locked in this cell?]] [[Leave Rotgut to die]] [[Open the cell door]]<<if $header == 1>>\ <div class="myDiv">\ <span class='no'>\ <div style="text-align: center;">\ <<link "Back">><<run Engine.backward()>><</link>> | <<link "Save">><<script>>UI.saves()<</script>><</link>> | [[Restart][state.restart()]] </div>\ </span>\ </div> <</if>>\<<run UI.restart()>>\ [[Restart][state.restart()]]