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<<timed 1s>><<goto `either("1", "2", "3","4","5","6")`>> <</timed>>You rolled a 1. Attempt failed!<br>You rolled a 2. Attempt failed!<br>You rolled a 3. Attempt failed!<br>You rolled a 4. Success!<br>You rolled a 5. Success!<br>You rolled a 6. Success!<br><<set $header = 0>>\ <div style="text-align: center;">\ <p class="double">\ <br>CRYPT SHYFTER ATOMIC ANGEL<br> by kung fu space barbarian & funkmachine<br> </p>\ [[Start|CharCreater]] </div>\ <<set $handor = 1>>\ <<set $thrakk = 1>>\ <<set $akorr = 1>>\ <<set $vulma = 1>>\ <<set $zalbraak = 1>>\ <<set $starwisp = 1>>\ <<set $vonkap = 1>>\ <<set $smelk = 1>>\ <<set $draxxus = 1>>\ <<set $crew = 5>>\ <<set $hp = 10>>\ <<set $gold = 5>>\ <<set $pizza = 2>>\ <<set $damage = 0>>\ <<set $stat2 = 0>>\ <<set $header = 1>>\<div style="text-align: center;">\ Are you a dude or a chick?<br> [[Dude|dude]] [[Chick|chick]] </div>\<<set $stat = "beefy">>\ <div style="text-align: center;">\ Right on! Let's roll some dice.<br> [[Continue|ds]] </div>\<<set $stat = "sneaky">>\ <div style="text-align: center;">\ Right on! Let's roll some dice.<br> [[Continue|ds]] </div>\<<set $stat = "sexy">>\ <div style="text-align: center;">\ Right on! Let's roll some dice.<br> [[Continue|ds]] </div>\<<set $alien = "Vulma">>\ <<set $boygirl = "boy">>\ <div style="text-align: center;">\ Which best describes you?<br> [[Strong]] [[Fast]] [[Charismatic]] </div>\<<set $alien = "Zalbraak">>\ <<set $boygirl = "girl">>\ <div style="text-align: center;">\ Which best describes you?<br> [[Strong]] [[Fast]] [[Charismatic]] </div>\<<set $roll = random(1,6)>>\ <<if $roll gte 4>>\ <<display `random("4", "5", "6")`>> You cleave the robots limb from limb with each mighty swing of your laser axe. The machines are soon nothing more than piles of smoking metal.<br> [[Continue|lookaround]] <<else>>\ <<display `random("1", "2", "3")`>> <<set $hp -= 2>>\ It is a vicious battle. You fight bravely, but you are sorely wounded. -2 HP. You cleave the robots limb from limb in a blind rage. Soon the machines are nothing more than piles of smoking metal.<br> HP: $hp<br> [[Continue|lookaround]] <</if>>\$alien: Zarkaja, it's $alien! The ship's sensors are picking up a large readout of Andraxxan warships warping in. Whatever you're doing down there, you'd better do it fast. I'd say you have less than 13 quadrasecs until they arrive!<br> [[I'm on it!|x2]] [[What in Shergblatt's name is a quadrasec??|umu]]You skid to a halt in front of a massive steel door. It's sealed from the inside. Starwisp readies her sword and guards the passageway you just came from.<br> [[Continue|x1]]You hurry over to the door and begin unloading the explosives from your satchel. Once the charges are set you take cover and hit the detonator. The door is completely incinerated. Just then an army of killbots charge out of the smoke! They blast Starwisp to smithereens!<br> [[Continue|fight1]]Starwisp vanishes in a flash. A moment later you hear the muffled sound of laser fire from the far side of the door.<br> [[Continue|anotherx]]<div style="text-align: center;">\ Roll a 4 or higher to defeat the killbots!<br> </div>\ [[ROLL|tryroll]] <<if $stat == "beefy">>\ [[Use your Strength bonus!|check1]] <</if>>\<div style="text-align: center;">\ <span class="dice5"></span> </div>\An alarm wails in the distance. The Library's walls close in around you, blocking your way at every turn. Suddenly the communicator on your wrist crackles to life.<br> [[Continue|drax]]You are racing through the dimly lit corridors of The Forbidden Library. Starwisp keeps pace at your side, cutting down any robot guards that dare to impede your progress.<br> [[Continue|impede]]You have two options to open the door: you can order Starwisp to use her personal teleporter and open it from the inside, or you can blast it open with the explosives Thrakk gave you.<br> [[Starwisp! Teleport to the far side and get that door open!|x4]] [[Stand back! I'm going to blast the door apart with these explosives!|x3]]The door slides open and Starwisp's laser-charred corpse flops out. A platoon of killbots charge out of the smoke! They ignite their laser axes and point their ray guns at you.<br> [[Continue|fight1]]You enter the Archives. Rows of old scrolls and high-tech datacrons stretch into the darkness as far as your eyes can see.<br> [[Continue|farcansee]]In the center of the room you spot a large holographic map depicting all the major systems in this sector. This is what you came for!<br> [[Take map|takemap]]You take the holodisk containing the map and place it in your bag. Just then $alien's panicked voice cuts in on your communicator. You can hear the sizzling crackle of laser fire in the background.<br> [[Continue|sizzlingcrak]]$alien: Whatever you just did triggered an automatic defense mechanism! The Library is sealing itself to contain the security breach. If you don't get out of there now you'll be trapped inside!<br> [[On my way!|onourway]] [[Who's shooting? Is someone shooting?? It sounds like someone's shooting!!|whosshooting]]$alien: I don't mean to rush you, but Andraxxans have the place completely surrounded! I'm holding them off with the ship's turbo cannons but reinforcements are incoming. And... er... not to worry you any further, but they've got a Shyfter with them.<br> [[Of course they do...|roll2escape]] [[Not good!|roll2escape]]$alien: Andraxxans! They have the place completely surrounded! I'm holding them off with the ship's turbo cannons but reinforcements are incoming. And... er... not to worry you any further, but they've got a Shyfter with them.<br> [[Of course they do...|roll2escape]] [[Not good!|roll2escape]]<div style="text-align: center;">\ You need to get out of the Library before it seals! Roll a 4 or higher to escape!<br> </div>\ [[ROLL|tryroll4]] <<if $stat == "sneaky">>\ [[Use your speed bonus!|sneakbon1]] <</if>>\<<set $roll = random(1,6)>>\ <<if $roll gte 4>>\ <<display `random("4", "5", "6")`>> You charge through the labyrinth of chrome corridors at a full sprint. You evade squadrons of pursuing killbots and dodge the automatic laser fire of wall-mounted defense turrets until you finally arrive at the main gateway.<br> [[Continue|maingate]] <<else>>\ <<display `random("1", "2", "3")`>> You charge through the labyrinth of chrome corridors at a full sprint. You evade squadrons of pursuing killbots and dodge the automatic laser fire of wall-mounted defense turrets until you finally arrive at the main gateway.<br> [[Continue|maingate2]] <</if>>\You slide under the descending metal door just seconds before it clangs shut.<br> [[Continue|clangsshut]]You stand up and prepare to board the ship hovering nearby when suddenly a steel dragon whirls overhead. It drops like a rock and lands on the ground between you and the ship. The impact knocks you off your feet. When you look up once more the dragon is gone- you are now looking into the cold steel face of a Shyfter.<br> [[Continue|Shyfterface]]Shyfter: Hand over the holodisk, barbarian. I am equipped with dual missile pods, a 16-galahurtz flamethrower, 32 heat-seeking rockets, and enough high caliber ammunition to equip an entire army of space warriors. If you refuse to comply I will take the holodisk by force. You have no chance to survive.<br> [[Continue|howdeal]]How do you want to deal with the Shyfter?<br> [[Fight it|fightsShyfter]] [[Distract it|flashshyft]] [[Run away|runaway]]<div style="text-align: center;">\ Roll a 4 or higher to defeat the Shyfter!<br> </div>\ [[ROLL|tryroll5]] <<if $stat == "beefy">>\ [[Use your Strength bonus!|beefy2w]] <</if>>\<div style="text-align: center;">\ Roll a 4 or higher to distract the Shyfter!<br> </div>\ [[ROLL|tryroll55d]] <<if $stat == "sexy">>\ [[Use your Charisma bonus!|sexy2wv]] <</if>>\<div style="text-align: center;">\ Roll a 4 or higher to run away!<br> </div>\ [[ROLL|tryroll5v5]] <<if $stat == "sneaky">>\ [[Use your speed bonus!|snexy2w]] <</if>>\<<set $roll = random(1,6)>>\ <<if $roll gte 4>>\ <<display `random("4", "5", "6")`>> You smash your laser axe into the Shyfter's face. The beast's eyes explode and its face melts off. The sizzling metal corpse flops to the ground, crackling and sparking.<br> [[Continue|crackle]] <<else>>\ <<display `random("1", "2", "3")`>> The Shyfter swats you aside like a bug. It morphs into a giant metal woodpecker and drills a hole in the side of your ship!<br> [[Continue|damagedship]] <</if>>\You spring over the dead Shyfter and rush past the stunned Andraxxans. You leap aboard the waiting starship, which zooms away as soon as you are safely inside.<br> [[Continue|zoomaway]]<<if visited("dude")>>\ The ship jumps into warp space. You walk to the bridge.<br> [[Examine map|exminmap]] [[Talk to Vulma|ttvulm]] <<else>>\ The ship jumps into warp space. You walk to the bridge.<br> [[Examine map|exminmap]] [[Talk to Zalbraak|ttvulm]] <</if>>\You can see the last rays of sunlight disappearing as the door ahead slowly descends. Just then you are hit by a laser bolt and fall to the ground! You watch helplessly as the doorway seals itself. You are now trapped inside The Forbidden Library...<br> [[Continue|trapped]]Ages will pass before anyone finds your remains. This vault will become your tomb. Your adventure ends here...<br> YOU ARE DEAD.<br> [[Try again?|roll2escape0]]You insert the holodisk into the main computer drive. A holographic display of the universe appears before you.<br> [[Continue|alienapproaches]]$alien: Aha! There it is: the warp gate that will lead us to Bo. That is where we will find the Atomic Angel's fortress.<br> [[Continue|nolongerlive]]$alien: Bo is a jungle world dotted with the ruins of the Ancients. It would appear that the Atomic Angel has fortified himself inside one of their sacred temples.<br> [[Continue|nolongerlive]]<<if visited("dude")>>\ You step away from the Star Map. What do you want to do?<br> [[Plot a course|tovonkap]] [[Talk to Vulma|ttvulm]] <<else>>\ You step away from the Star Map. What do you want to do?<br> [[Plot a course|tovonkap]] [[Talk to Zalbraak|ttvulm]] <</if>>\$alien: My research suggests that the primary inhabitants of Bo are small indiginous tribes of Mush-Mads; fungal-folk, if you will. They shouldn't pose much of a threat.<br> [[Continue|nothatnks]]<<if $damage == 1>>\ You punch in the coordinates and warp to Bo, but your ship is unstable from the damage! You crash-land in the dense jungle. There will be no way to get off this planet without repairing your ship first.<br> [[Continue|onkapa]] <<else>>\ You punch in the coordinates and warp to Bo. Your ship lands gracefully on the dense jungle planet.<br> [[Continue|onkapa]] <</if>>\<<if visited("ttvulm2")>>\ $alien is busy tinkering with designs for a revlar shank. Better come back later.<br> [[Continue|bridge]] <<else>>\ $alien smiles as you approach.<br> [[Continue|ttvulm2]] <</if>>\<<set $roll = random(1,6)>>\ <<if $roll gte 4>>\ <<display `random("4", "5", "6")`>> You sprint past the Shyfter and stunned Andraxxans who aren't fast enough to stop you. You leap aboard the waiting starship, which zooms away as soon as you are safely inside.<br> [[Continue|zoomaway]] <<else>>\ <<display `random("1", "2", "3")`>> You try to flee but the Shyfter swats you aside like a bug. It morphs into a giant metal woodpecker and drills a hole in the side of your ship!<br> [[Continue|damagedship]] <</if>>\<<if visited("damagedship")>>\ $alien: The ship was severely damaged by that Shyfter. The fuel cells have ruptured. We will have enough fuel to make one warp jump, but after that we'll need to refuel. I suggest you think carefully about our next destination... it may well be our last.<br> [[Are you all right?|crewmorale]] [[Anything I can help you with?|aboutyou]] [[Goodbye|bridge]] <<else>>\ $alien: The ship is operating at full functionality. We are currently maintaining a constant velocity through subspace. Once you chart a course on the Star Map the ship will automatically re-route us. The journey shouldn't take long.<br> [[Are you all right?|crewmorale]] [[Anything I can help you with?|aboutyou]] [[Goodbye|bridge]] <</if>>\$alien: Death is always a difficult thing, especially when you work so closely with someone for an extended period of time. Starwisp will be missed.<br> [[That's it? A few vague remarks and we move on?|uallright]] [[Ship status|shipstatus]] [[Anything I can help with?|aboutyou]] [[Goodbye|bridge]]<<if visited("keycomp")>>\ $alien: Have you obtained the revlar shank yet?<br> [[Not yet. I'll be back when I have it.|notyetshank]] <<else>>\ $alien: Actually, yes. I am in the process of developing a neural-jacked turbo-boosting high performance enhancer- er, to put it simply, I'm creating a device that will increase the speed of anyone who wears it. However, I'm missing a key component.<br> [[Continue|keycomp]] <</if>>\$alien: Starwisp was a Tozark. She was born and bred for battle. Death upon the battlefield is the highest glory a Tozarki warrior can achieve in this life. As the Fuzonians would say: she is now dancing with her ancestors among the stars.<br> [[Ship status|shipstatus]] [[Anything I can help you with?|aboutyou]] [[Goodbye|bridge]]$alien: Makanna, Zarkaja. Please excuse my messy work station, I'm in the middle of some very important research.<br> [[Ship status|shipstatus]] [[Are you all right?|crewmorale]] [[Anything I can help you with?|aboutyou]] [[Goodbye|bridge]]$alien: Oh ho! Silly me! I forgot you are nothing more than a primitive, pea-brained barbarian. A quadrasec is-<br> [[Nevermind, I don't have time for this!|x2]] [[Forget I asked, Doctor Scientist. We're almost there.|x2]]You catch your breath and look around at the carnage. There is no time to mourn Starwisp right now. You have a mission to complete.<br> [[Enter Archives|enterarchives]]<div style="text-align: center;">\ Roll a 3 or higher to escape!<br> </div>\ [[ROLL|tryroll4a]]<div style="text-align: center;">\ Roll a 3 or higher to defeat the Shyfter!<br> </div>\ [[ROLL|tryroll5x]]You spring up and smash your laser axe into the Shyfter's face. The beast's eyes explode and its face melts off. The sizzling metal corpse flops to the ground, crackling and sparking.<br> [[Continue|crackle]] <<set $damage = 1>>\You make a funny joke and distract the Shyfter! The beast laughs so hard at your joke that its face melts off. The sizzling metal corpse flops to the ground, crackling and sparking.<br> [[Continue|crackle]]<<set $roll = random(1,6)>>\ <<if $roll gte 4>>\ <<display `random("4", "5", "6")`>> [[Continue|sexy2w]] <<else>>\ <<display `random("1", "2", "3")`>> You try to tell a crappy knock knock joke, but the Shyfter swats you aside like a bug. It morphs into a giant metal woodpecker and drills a hole in the side of your ship!<br> [[Continue|damagedship]] <</if>>\<div style="text-align: center;">\ Roll a 3 or higher to run away!<br> </div>\ [[ROLL|tryroll5v5x]]<<set $roll = random(1,6)>>\ <<if $roll gte 3>>\ <<display `random("4", "5", "6", "8")`>> You sprint past the Shyfter and stunned Andraxxans who aren't fast enough to stop you. You leap aboard the waiting starship, which zooms away as soon as you are safely inside.<br> [[Continue|zoomaway]] <<else>>\ <<display `random("1", "2")`>> You try to flee but the Shyfter swats you aside like a bug. It morphs into a giant metal woodpecker and drills a hole in the side of your ship!<br> [[Continue|damagedship]] <</if>>\<div style="text-align: center;">\ Roll a 3 or higher to distract the Shyfter!<br> </div>\ [[ROLL|tryroll55ds]]<<set $roll = random(1,6)>>\ <<if $roll gte 3>>\ <<display `random("4", "5", "6", "8")`>> [[Continue|sexy2w]] <<else>>\ <<display `random("1", "2")`>> You try to tell a crappy knock knock joke, but the Shyfter swats you aside like a bug. It morphs into a giant metal woodpecker and drills a hole in the side of your ship!<br> [[Continue|damagedship]] <</if>>\<<set $roll = random(1,6)>>\ <<if $roll gte 3>>\ <<display `random("4", "5", "6", "8")`>> You smash your laser axe into the Shyfter's face. The beast's eyes explode and its face melts off. The sizzling metal corpse flops to the ground, crackling and sparking.<br> [[Continue|crackle]] <<else>>\ <<display `random("1", "2")`>> The Shyfter swats you aside like a bug. It morphs into a giant metal woodpecker and drills a hole in the side of your ship!<br> [[Continue|damagedship]] <</if>>\$alien: If you happen to find a revlar shank on your travels, please bring it to me. I'll let you be the first one to try out the new device! I'm sure it will come in handy during our adventures.<br> [[I'll keep an eye out for this shanker thing...]] [[Ship status|shipstatus]] [[Are you all right?|crewmorale]] [[Goodbye|bridge]]$alien: Wonderful! Is there anything else you need?<br> [[Ship status|shipstatus]] [[Are you all right?|crewmorale]] [[Goodbye|bridge]]$alien: Wonderful! Is there anything else you need?<br> [[Ship status|shipstatus]] [[Are you all right?|crewmorale]] [[Goodbye|bridge]]You creep forward silently, eager to investigate. Peering through the underbrush, you spot a spider-like robot with six spindly legs and a torso shaped like a garbage can. A solar panel on its chest gleams in the sunlight.<br> [[Attack the robot|sunglihgt]] [[Remain hidden|remainhidden]]You avoid the metal object and continue on your way. After a few more minutes of exploring the jungle you hear the sound of skittering footsteps. You hide in a bush. Peering through the underbrush, you spot a spider-like robot with six spindly legs and a torso shaped like a trash can. A solar panel on its chest gleams in the sunlight. The robot seems to be following you.<br> [[Attack the robot|sunglihgt]] [[Remain hidden|remainhidden]]You prepare to attack when suddenly the robot begins to speak.<br> [[Continue|robottalk]]You remain hidden. Just then, a flash of light swipes past you and the robot begins to speak.<br> [[Continue|robottalk]]BUTLER: Error! Life form unknown. Falling back to default assignment variable. Greetings. I am BUTLER. May I per-per-perform a diagnostic scan on you, Meatbag?<br> [[Meatbag?|meatbag]] [[What did you call me?|meatbag]]BUTLER: Non negative reply. Pro-pro-proceeding with diagnostic scan.<br> [[Continue|diaglnot]]BUTLER's single eye flashes red, scanning you from head to toe. You don't lower your axe until the procedure is finished.<br> [[Continue|spidery]]BUTLER: Interesting. New life form added to database. Updating characteristics... Large muscles. Small brain. Li-li-likely primitive. What do you call your species, Meatbag?<br> [[I am marauding barbarian! I am searching for the Atomic Angel. Do you know if he is on this planet?|angealsearch]] [[Enough with this! I seek the Atomic Angel. You are not him, so you are in my way. Have you seen any evil-looking castles around?|angealsearch]]BUTLER: Answer length greater than database column maximum. Falling back to default assignment variable. 'Meatbag' assigned. Question detected. There are several references to Atomic Angel in my da-da-database. Would you like to know more, Meatbag?<br> [[You have information about the Atomic Angel? Tell me!|yes]] [[Forget it. I'm in a hurry.|hrry]]BUTLER: Atomic Angel. Species: Unknown. Age: Unknown. Homeworld: Unknown. Entries: zero. I am sorry, Meatbag, but my da-da-database appears to have been corrupted. All entries relating to Atomic Angel have been erased. I may be mal-mal-malfunctioning.<br> [[Just my luck...|hrry]] [[Forget it. I'm in a hurry anyway.|hrry]]You walk past the robot and proceed deeper into the jungle. BUTLER follows you.<br> [[What do you think you're doing?|whatdo]] [[You want to come with me? You'd better keep up or I'll leave you behind.|kkeep]]BUTLER: My database may be faulty, but perhaps I can serve as a guide. I am very familiar with this planet.<br> [[I don't need a guide.|dontneed]] [[I could use a guide. You better not slow me down.|kkeep]]You and BUTLER proceed to the top of a nearby hill but your view is obstructed by dense vegetation. The trees up here seem different than those on the valley floor. The bark is crimson, and some of the trees look like they've been decorated with flowers.<br> [[Climb a tree to get a better view|climbtree]] [[Chop down a few of the trees blocking your path|choptrees]]You proceed to the top of a nearby hill, leaving the robot behind. Your view ahead is obstructed by dense vegetation. The trees up here seem different than those on the valley floor. The bark is crimson, and some of the trees look like they've been decorated with flowers.<br> [[Climb a tree to get a better view|climbtree]] [[Chop down a few of the trees blocking your path|choptrees]]You climb to the top of one of the tallest trees. Your eyes are dazzled by the sight. You can see all across the land for miles. Mountains and meadows rise and fall. There is a dense jungle in the distance. You can see the remains of unnatural structures scattered across the landscape.<br> [[Continue|theview2]]You clear away a few of the smaller trees and suddenly you can see all across the land for miles. Mountains and meadows rise and fall. There is a dense jungle in the distance. You can see the remains of unnatural structures scattered across the landscape.<br> [[Continue|theview]]Some look like the skeletons of once tall buildings, while others look like stone temples built into the sides of mountains. Then you see it: a huge silver tower.<br> [[Continue|blacktempl2]]You exit the ship. The trees are neon blue and the ground is covered in black sand. A dense tangle of colorful vegetation blocks your path. You slash through the undergrowth for what seems like hours when suddenly you spot a metal object in the bushes ahead.<br> [[Investigate the metal object|metal]] [[Avoid the object and search for another path|sech4]]Some look like the skeletons of once tall buildings, while others look like stone temples built into the sides of mountains. Then you see it: a huge silver tower.<br> [[Continue|blacktempl]]Standing between two valleys, rising out of the jungle like a crooked finger, the glittering, twisting spire stretches up to the Heavens. Dark red lights creep up the sides of the tower like veins, flashing periodically. It's almost like the tower is alive.<br> [[That is one evil-looking tower. I'm definitely in the right place.|evilsyy]] [[The Atomic Angel's attention to detail and sense of drama is very impressive.|evilsyy]]<<if visited("dontneed")>>\ Just then a flash of light catches your eye. You spin around and spot BUTLER. The clunky robot is trying to catch the sun's rays on his solar panel.<br> [[I thought I told you to stop following me!|stopfollowing]] [[Hey, Tin Man! I know I told you to beat it, but I have a question. What's the fastest way to that silver tower?|fasteto]] <<else>>\ You turn to BUTLER. The clunky robot is trying to catch the sun's rays on his solar panel.<br> [[What's the fastest way to that tower, Tin Man?|fasteto]] [[Our destination is that silver fortress across the valley. Follow me.|followerjehff]] <</if>>\Standing between two valleys, rising out of the jungle like a crooked finger, the glittering, twisting spire stretches up to the Heavens. Dark red lights creep up the sides of the tower like veins, flashing periodically. It's almost like the tower is alive.<br> [[That is one evil-looking tower. I'm definitely in the right place.|evilsddt2]] [[The Atomic Angel's attention to detail and sense of drama is very impressive.|evilsddt2]]<<if visited("dontneed")>>\ You climb back down and spot BUTLER. The clunky robot is trying to catch the sun's rays on his solar panel.<br> [[I thought I told you to stop following me!|stopfollowing]] [[Hey, Tin Man! I know I told you to beat it, but I have a question. What's the fastest way to that tower?|fasteto]] <<else>>\ You climb back down and spot BUTLER trying to catch the sun's rays on his solar panel.<br> [[What's the fastest way to that tower, Tin Man?|fasteto]] [[Our destination is that silver fortress across the valley. Follow me.|followerjehff]] <</if>>\BUTLER: I am not following you, Meatbag. I am attempting to catch the sun's rays before dark. I must store the energy so that I do not lose pow-pow-power at night.<br> [[Bah... science hurts my brain.|sciencehurts]] [[Do you know the fastest way to that fortress?|fasteto]]BUTLER: Well, Meatbag, you could travel down this valley and follow the river to the silver fortress. The valley is populated by small tribes of Mush-Mads. WARNING. Ikkagu patrols the river. Chance of death 97% certain.<br> [[Mush-Mads?|replicons]] [[Ikkagu?|ikkagu]] [[It'll take more than a few jungle beasts to kill me. I will travel through the valley.|travelval]]BUTLER: Wait, Meatbag! The valley ahead is populated by small tribes of Mush-Mads. WARNING. Ikkagu patrols the river. Chance of death 97% certain.<br> [[Mush-Mads?|replicons]] [[Ikkagu?|ikkagu]] [[It'll take more than a few jungle beasts to kill me. I will travel through the valley.|travelval]]BUTLER: The Mush-Mads are the creation of this planet's once great Builder. The Builder's name is no longer accessible to me. However, after the De-De-Decline, the Mush-Mads became more primitive and less intelligent. They are not fond of outsiders.<br> [[Ikkagu?|ikkagu]] [[I have no quarrel with the Mush-Mads. I will travel through the valley.|travelval]]BUTLER: Loading file. The Ikkagu is a reptilian-based, carnivorous life form. Full grown it stands at over thirty feet tall. Nine inch claws, hundreds of razor sharp teeth, and a long, destructive tail.<br> [[So it's a dinosaur?|dono]] [[It will take more than some jungle beast to kill me, Tin Man. I will travel through the valley.|travelval]] [[The Ikkagu can kiss my meaty butt.|travelval]]<<if visited("dontneed")>>\ BUTLER doesn't move. He makes a sound like a sad puppy dog.<br> [[All right, all right! You can come with me. Just stay close, okay?|comewith]] [[I guess you've been useful so far. Come with me, but if you try anything funny I'll smash you into tin foil.|comewith]] <<else>>\ You make your way down into the valley, slashing everything in your path to speed your journey. As you descend lower and lower you begin to notice that the birds have stopped singing. In fact, the jungle is almost perfectly silent. Suddenly, you hear rustling behind you. You raise your axe, ready for a fight.<br> [[Continue|ready4a]] <</if>>\BUTLER: Did you find what you were seeking in the trees?<br> [[What's the fastest way to that silver tower?|fasteto]] [[My destination is that fortress across the valley. Have fun collecting sun beams.|followerjehff]]BUTLER: Negative, Meatbag. It is a reptilian-based, carnivorous life form. Nine inch claws, hundreds of razor sharp teeth, and a long destructive tail. I am re-re-repeating myself. Why? Are you too primitive, Meatbag? Are my words to complex for you? Let me try again. Ikkagu: Big claws. Big mouth. Dangerous. Meatbag become meat pieces.<br> [[It will take more than some jungle beast to kill me, Tin Man. I will travel through the valley.|travelval]] [[The Ikkagu can kiss my meaty butt.|travelval]]BUTLER emits a happy beeping noise and begins to follow you. You make your way down into the valley, slashing everything in your path to speed your journey. As you descend lower and lower you begin to notice that the birds have stopped singing. In fact, the jungle is almost perfectly silent. Suddenly, you hear rustling behind you. You raise your axe, ready for a fight.<br> [[Continue|ready4a]]<div style="text-align: center;">\ A fungal-man charges at you with a wooden spear! Roll a 4 or higher to defeat it.<br> </div>\ [[ROLL|maincombat]] <<if $stat == "beefy">>\ [[Use your Strength bonus!|snexy2wgg]] <</if>>\<<set $roll = random(1,6)>>\ <<if $roll gte 4>>\ <<display `random("4", "5", "6")`>> You grab the Mush-Mad's spear and use your kung fu to flip him over your head. The fungus man slams into the ground hard, sending spores into the air.<br> [[Continue|moreliz]] <<else>>\ <<display `random("1", "2", "3")`>> <<set $hp -= 3>>\ You try to defend yourself but the fungus man is too fast! He stabs you with his spear. -3 HP!<br> HP: $hp<br> [[Continue|lizmanbatled]] <</if>>\<div style="text-align: center;">\ Roll a 3 or higher to defeat the Mush-Mad!<br> </div>\ [[ROLL|maincombatsd]]<<set $roll = random(1,6)>>\ <<if $roll gte 3>>\ <<display `random("4", "5", "6", "8")`>> You grab the Mush-Mad's spear and use your kung fu to flip him over your head. The fungus man slams into the ground hard, sending spores flying up into the air.<br> [[Continue|moreliz]] <<else>>\ <<display `random("1", "2")`>> <<set $hp -= 3>>\ You try to defend yourself but the fungus man is too fast! He stabs you with his spear. -3 HP!<br> HP: $hp<br> [[Continue|lizmanbatled]] <</if>>\More Mush-Mads emerge from the forest. They surround you in a circle of spears. One of them mutters something to his companion. You cautiously twist the Morphological Dial on your chest until their words start to make sense.<br> [[Continue|makesense]]<<if $hp gte 1>>\ You grab the Mush-Mad's spear and use your kung fu to flip him over your head. The fungus man slams into the ground hard, sending spores flying up into the air.<br> [[Continue|moreliz]] <<else>>\ <<set $hp = 10>>\ You have run out of health... YOU ARE DEAD.<br> [[Try again?|ready4a]] <</if>>\Mush-Mad: ...it doesn't look like a metal man to me, Meep-Mar. It seems aware.<br> [[Easy, fungus face. I mean you no harm.|noharm]] [[How 'bout you get that spear out of my face before I smash you into pollen!|noharm]]The Mush-Mads look at each other in amazement. Some are so shocked they lower their spears. Others look angry and grip their spears even tighter.<br> [[Continue|youspek]]Meep-Mar: You speak our words, yet you are not one of us. State your purpose, outsider!<br> [[I seek the silver fortress on the far side of the valley. I mean you no harm.|noharmbb]]<<if visited("choptrees")>>\ Meep-Mar: So you say. But Gub-Tar saw you on The Hill of Red Trees. He saw you desecrate our sacred place. You destroyed Ten-Lock, God of the Forest Trees, as well as many others!<br> [[I didn't know those trees were special.|didntknowtre]] [[Bah! They were just trees. You've got a whole forest full of them. Now let me pass!|didntknowtre]] <<else>>\ Meep-Mar: That remains to be seen, outlander. If what you say is true, then you must know that the road ahead is dangerous. That fortress is used by the Atomic Angel.<br> [[I know. I have come to destroy him!|aasfreka]] [[You must show us the way to this fortress. I will kill the Atomic Angel with my bare hands!|aasfreka]] <</if>>\You hear the sound of someone blowing a dart. A second later you feel a sudden sharp pain in your butt. The world starts spinning and you collapse into a nearby bush. The pain spreads through your body and your vision darkens. Before you fall unconscious, you hear the one called Meep-Mar say, "The Ikkagu will judge you..."<br> [[Continue|judgement]]The Mush-Mads gasp. Some of them dropped to their knees and start praying.<br> [[Continue|weknown]]Meep-Mar: No one dares face the Atomic Angel! He and his minions raid our villages and take our people... Those taken are never seen again. Many from our tribe have been lost over the years.<br> [[You just tell me where this Atomic butthead is and I'll take care of him for you.|illtake]] [[Can you show me the quickest way to the fortress?|illtake]]Meep-Mar: I will tell you all you wish to know outlander, but you must help us first.<br> [[Ugh, not another side quest. What do you need?|whatdoyouneeed]] [[I have no time to help simple tribesmen. Time is short, and I must press on.|presson]]Meep-Mar: Please follow us to our village.<br> [[Continue|tothevillage]]<<set $rep = "Meep-Mar">>\ <<set $hisher = "his">>\ The Mush-Mads look crestfallen as you walk away. As you near the edge of the forest BUTLER emerges from some shrubs. $rep grabs a rock and prepares to throw it at the clunky robot.<br> [[Intervene|intervene]] [[Watch and laugh|watchandlaugh]]You follow Meep-Mar and the other tribesmen to their village. It's a small encampment on the edge of the forest near a great river. While the inner buildings are small and hut-like, the wooden wall encircling the encampment is large and well maintained. This wall was clearly built to keep something very big away from the village.<br> [[Continue|invillage2]]Meep-Mar leads you up a ladder to small tower built into the wall. From here you have a great view of the forest beyond the river.<br> [[Continue|thehelper]]Meep-Mar: For many years we had to hide from the Atomic Angel and his creations, but now a new creature has started hunting in our lands. The Ikkagu.<br> [[Ikkagu?|ikuku]] [[That’s the dinosaur, right?|dinosaurright]]Meep-Mar: The Ikkagu is a terrible monster! He's a giant meat-eating lizard with big teeth, sharp claws, and a long whip-like tail.<br> [[Oh, so it's like a dinosaur.|dinosaurright]] [[What’s the problem with the Ikkagu? Is it depleting your hunting grounds?|theproblem]]Meep-Mar: Dino...saur?<br> [[Nevermind. What’s the problem with the Ikkagu? Is it depleting your hunting grounds?|theproblem]] [[Giant meat eating lizard, big teeth, sharp claws, long tail?|describe]]Meep-Mar: No, there is plenty of food to go around. The problem is the Ikkagu thinks we are food, too. Many hunters have not returned lately. Now we only hunt in large groups, and mostly at night. This has made life very hard for us. My people are starving.<br> [[I can see how that might be a problem for you.|icansee]] [[The Ikkagu doesn't concern me. I must find the Atomic Angel at once. You're on your own.|icansee]]Meep-Mar: Oh, yes! That is the Ikkagu. The Ikkagu likes meat, but it thinks we are food, too. Many hunters have not returned lately. Now we only hunt in large groups, and mostly at night. This has made life very hard for us. My people are starving.<br> [[I can see how that might be a problem for you.|icansee]] [[The Ikkagu doesn't concern me. I must find the Atomic Angel at once. You're on your own.|icansee]]Just then you hear a terrifying roar in the distance followed by a scream. A young Mush-Mad girl bursts out of the foliage on the far side of the river, tossing her collected berries aside and running like a dog chasing a hare.<br> [[What is she doing over there? Stupid girl...|stupid]] [[I have a feeling the Ikkagu is about to show up.|stupid]]A second later the Ikkagu explodes out of the forest, sending leaves and branches scattering in all directions. The monster devours the fleeing girl in one bite. The Ikkagu glares at the wall for a moment before turning and heading back into the forest.<br> [[Leap over the wall and fight the Ikkagu|fightintg]] [[Set a trap|setatrap]]You summon your chi and leap over the wall, prepared to do battle with the mighty Ikkagu. The beast spins around at the sound of your battle cry and charges!<br> [[Continue|combatstart]]After devising what you hope is a clever plan, you stand at the edge of the village providing directions to the tribesmen as they dig a large pit and fill it with bamboo spikes. When questioned, you tell Meep-Mar of your plan to hurl a few javelins at the beast and then leap over the pit while it chases you.<br> [[Continue|sceptical]]<div style="text-align: center;">\ Roll a 4 or higher to defeat the Ikkagu!<br> </div>\ [[ROLL|ikkaugfight]] <<if $stat == "beefy">>\ [[Use your Strength bonus!|sbeefer2wggdd]] <</if>>\<<if $damage == 1>>\ $alien: I will remain here and do what I can to repair the ship. Remember, the Atomic Angel is hiding in his fortress. Locating it should not be too difficult. The fortress is said to be a tall spire that extends high above the trees.<br> [[Got it.|leavetheship]] [[The Atomic Angel is as good as dead.|leavetheship]] <<else>>\ $alien: I will remain with the ship while you do what you do best. Remember, the Atomic Angel is hiding in his fortress. Locating it should not be too difficult. The fortress is said to be a tall spire that extends high above the trees.<br> [[Got it.|leavetheship]] [[The Atomic Angel is as good as dead.|leavetheship]] <</if>>\You open your eyes. Your head is throbbing and the light of the setting sun burns your eyes. You look around and see that you are at the river's edge. Your hands are bound and you seem to be suspended from an elaborately carved totem pole.<br> [[Continue|toemn]]Mush-Mads are gathered all around you. They are on their knees, chanting ominously. Meep-Mar steps forward.<br> [[Continue|mumbo]]Meep-Mar: You have defiled our forest, outsider. You must be cleansed by the Ikkagu. He demands a sacrifice.<br> [[Listen bub. You let me down right now. I don't have time for your tribal mumbo jumbo.|trilbalk]] [[When I get down from here I'm going to kill you and the Ikkagu!|trilbalk]]Just then the ground begins to shake. Something huge is moving in the trees across the river. The mighty Ikkagu emerges from the shadows and steps into the water. It walks slowly towards you, flexing its powerful claws and gnashing it's razor sharp teeth.<br> [[By Shergblatt's hairy buttcrack!|ohboy]] [[Stink pickles!|ohboy]]Meep-Mar: Ikkagu must have his sacrifice.<br> [[Continue|iku]]<div style="text-align: center;">\ The Ikkagu lets out a mighty roar and charges straight at you. Roll a 4 or higher to break free!<br> </div>\ [[ROLL|breakfree]] <<if $stat == "beefy">>\ [[Use your Strength bonus!|sbeefer2wgg]] <</if>>\<<set $roll = random(1,6)>>\ <<if $roll gte 4>>\ <<display `random("4", "5", "6")`>> You summon your chi and for a brief moment you have the strength of twenty barbarians! You rip free of your bonds and yank the totem pole out of the ground. You swing the wooden pole like a club and crush the Ikkagu's skull!<br> [[Continue|morelizrr]] <<else>>\ <<display `random("1", "2", "3")`>> <<set $hp -= 3>>\ You are unable to break free beause the Mush-Mads are experts at tying knots. The Ikkagu smashes into you! Your totem pole topples over and you crash into the ground. -3 HP!<br> HP: $hp<br> [[Continue|lizmanbatledsd]] <</if>>\<div style="text-align: center;">\ Roll a 3 or higher to escape!<br> </div>\ [[ROLL|trshai]]You clutch your side, panting and heaving as the Mush-Mads approach.<br> [[Continue|anotherfight]]<<if $hp gte 1>>\ You struggle to your feet and grab the totem pole in both hands. You swing the wooden pole like a club and crush the Ikkagu's skull, splattering the jungle with blood and brains. The beast collapses into the river, dead. You feel the chi leave your body like water being sucked down a drain. You feel as weak as a sickly little orphan $boygirl who has the runs. Even blinking feels like a huge effort.<br> [[Continue|morelizrr]] <<else>>\ You have run out of health... YOU ARE DEAD.<br> <<set $hp = 10>>\ [[Try again?|iku]] <</if>>\<<set $roll = random(1,6)>>\ <<if $roll gte 3>>\ <<display `random("4", "5", "6", "8")`>> You summon your chi and for a brief moment you have the strength of twenty barbarians! You rip free of your bonds and yank the totem pole out of the ground. You swing the wooden pole like a club and crush the Ikkagu's skull, splattering the jungle with blood and brains. The beast collapses into the river, dead. You feel the chi leave your body like water being sucked down a drain. You feel as weak as a sickly little orphan $boygirl who has the runs. Even blinking feels like a huge effort.<br> [[Continue|morelizrr]] <<else>>\ <<display `random("1", "2")`>> <<set $hp -= 3>>\ You are unable to break free because the Mush-Mads are experts at tying knots. The Ikkagu smashes into you! Your totem pole topples over and you crash into the ground. -3 HP!<br> HP: $hp<br> [[Continue|lizmanbatledsd]] <</if>>\Just then exhaustion takes hold and you collapse, falling instantly into a dreamless slumber.<br> [[Continue|dreamlessslumer]]Meep-Mar: You.... you killed the Ikkagu. We are free! You are truly a demon slayer sent by the gods, barbarian. Tonight we feast!<br> [[You tried to sacrifice me to that thing! I will slaughter you all!|weary]] [[That’s right. You little twerps owe me big time.|weary]]You awaken some time later to the sound of dancing, singing, and merriment. You sit up and rub your aching head. A Mush-Mad woman is smiling at you and holding a jar of goober juice.<br> [[Continue|dancing]]<<if visited("theendofthis")>>\ Sher-Mag: Everyone is partying outside. Here, have some goober juice!<br> [[Oh yeah! I killed an Ikkagu! Let's dance and party!|danceyahdf]] [[I don't have time for goober juice! I have a mission to complete. I'm leaving.|timetoleavejguy]] <<else>>\ Sher-Mag: Everyone is partying outside. Here, have some goober juice!<br> [[Oh yeah! I killed an Ikkagu! Let's dance and party!|danceyahdf]] [[I don't want goober juice! I'm leaving. Did you forget your people just tried to kill me??|treiedlkile]] <</if>>\You take the goober juice and down it in one gulp.<br> [[Continue|lizardwoman]]<<set $rep = "Sher-Mag">>\ <<set $hisher = "her">>\ You storm out of the tent. As you near the edge of the campsite BUTLER emerges from some shrubs. $rep grabs a rock and prepares to throw it at the clunky robot.<br> [[Intervene|intervene]] [[Watch and laugh|watchandlaugh]]<<if visited("didntknowtre")>>\ Sher-Mag: Good rising, demon slayer. I am Sher-Mag. I am Meep-Mar's mate.<br> [[Howdy, Sher-Mag. It’s a pleasure to meet you.|pleasuretomeet]] [[I don’t care what your name is. I’m going to kill your mate for what he did to me.|killyourmate]] <<else>>\ Sher-Mag: Good rising, demon slayer. I am Sher-Mag. I am Meep-Mar's mate.<br> [[Howdy, Sher-Mag. It’s a pleasure to meet you.|pleasuretomeet]] [[You said something about a party?|pleasuretomeet]] <</if>>\Sher-Mag: Meep-Mar asked me to invite you to the celebration once you awoke. Please, follow me.<br> [[Continue|totheparty]]Sher-Mag: Meep-Mar is out hunting right now... perhaps it would be best if you leave before he comes back.<br> [[I'm outta here. Peace out!]] <<set $rep = "Sher-Mag">>\ <<set $hisher = "her">>\You emerge from the tent to find a grand feast set out before you. The celebrating Mush-Mads greet you with a mighty chorus of hoots and cheers. They wave their hands in the air and gather around you, placing you on their shoulders. One of them tosses you a cooked leg of something. You aren’t sure what it is, but your grumbling stomach beckons you to dig in, so you do.<br> [[Continue|lateinto]]You drink and dance with the Mush-Mads late into the night. Near the party’s end, after most of the villagers have either gone to their huts or simply passed out on the ground, you find yourself at a small fire talking to Meep-Mar and Sher-Mag.<br> [[What a great feast! Your people are most gracious.|greatfeast]] [[You guys sure know how to party!|greatfeast]]Sher-Mag: Thank you for saving my mate’s life today. What did you say your name was?<br> [[I'm just a barbarian.|kiltomic]] [[Bah! Names and titles are irrelevant. We are defined by our deeds! I’m the one who’s going to kill the Atomic Angel.|kiltomic]]Meep-Mar: Well, whatever you call yourself, I thank you again for helping us defeat the Ikkagu. My tribe owes you a great debt.<br> [[I don't do it for praise, Meep-Mar. I do it because it's who I am...|forthepraise]] [[Thank you's are great, but how about a reward for saving your sorry butts?|rewardforsaving]]Meep-Mar: Even so, I wish to assist you. I will help you find the Atomic Angel, barbarian. He and his minions control the silver fortress. That fortress was erected by the Builders a long time ago, but they were destroyed. The Elders say the Atomic Angel is solely responsible for their demise.<br> [[What can you tell me about the Builder?|thebuilder]] [[Do you know what the fortress was built for?|thebaclktempl]] [[Thank you, Meep-Mar. I will end the Atomic Angel’s reign of terror!|endit]]Meep-Mar: I will help you find the Atomic Angel, barbarian. He and his minions control the silver fortress. That fortress was erected by the Builders a long time ago, but they were destroyed. The Elders say the Atomic Angel is solely responsible for their demise.<br> [[What can you tell me about the Builders?|thebuilder]] [[Do you know what the fortress was built for?|thebaclktempl]] [[Thank you, Meep-Mar. I will end the Atomic Angel’s reign of terror!|endit]]Meep-Mar: The Builders created the structures that dot this landscape, but they have been gone for a long time. Certainly, hundreds of years. More than that, I cannot say.<br> [[Do you know what the fortress was built for?|thebaclktempl]] [[Thank you, Meep-Mar. I will end the Atomic Angel’s reign of terror!|endit]]Meep-Mar: Alas, I do not know the tower's purpose. All I know is that the Atomic Angel now resides there. Our village has been raided by him and his creations three times since I became chief. They kill a few warriors and take most of the young as captives. Twice now I have followed the raiders, and both times they returned to the fortress. None of the captives have ever been seen again.<br> [[Could he be turning them into Shyfters?|turningintoshtarfr]] [[Who were the Builders?|thebuilder]] [[Thank you, Meep-Mar. I will end the Atomic Angel’s reign of terror.|endit]]Meep-Mar: You should rest tonight. Tomorrow you can set out for the silver tower. Come, Sher-Mag. It is late, and we should get some sleep.<br> [[Continue|getsomesleep]]Meep-Mar: I hope not! The Elders say that for as far back as our tribe remembers, we have been raided by the Atomic Angel. Many generations. Many children. I hope that was not their fate.<br> [[Who were the Builders?|thebuilder]] [[Thank you, Meep-Mar. I will end the Atomic Angel’s reign of terror.|endit]]<<if visited("dude")>>\ Meep-Mar and Sher-Mag get up and go to bed, leaving you to your thoughts. Just then an attractive Mush-Mad girl approaches.<br> [[Continue|attract]] <<set $rep = "Azra">>\ <<set $heshe = "she">>\ <<set $himher = "her">>\ <<set $hisher = "her">>\ <<else>>\ Meep-Mar and Sher-Mag get up and go to bed, leaving you to your thoughts. Just then an attractive Mush-Mad warrior approaches.<br> [[Continue|attract]] <<set $rep = "Zorn">>\ <<set $heshe = "he">>\ <<set $himher = "him">>\ <<set $hisher = "his">>\ <</if>>\$rep: So, you are the mighty demon slayer? They say you killed the Ikkagu single-handed.<br> [[Well I can't let a single hand take all the credit. This one did a little work too.|joking]] [[I could have killed a hundred Ikkagus if I wanted to.|couldac]] [[Where were you all night? I can’t believe I missed you.|missed]]$rep looks at you in confusion, not understanding your joke.<br> [[Continue|missed]]$rep looks impressed by your boast.<br> [[Continue|missed]]$rep: I was out hunting. Someone had to gather more meat to replace everything you’ve eaten.<br> [[Oh, come on! I don’t eat THAT much...|donteact]] [[I don’t know what you guys have been feeding me, but it tastes delicious!|donteact]]$rep: Listen, the party here is over, but some of the younger Mush-Mads are having an after-party deeper in the forest. Want to come?<br> [[Does a bear take massive dumps in the woods?|bearshtink]] [[I’d better not. I need to get some rest for my journey tomorrow.|needtorest]]$rep: I... don't know. What’s a bear?<br> [[Nevermind. Yes, I want to come. Lead the way.|leadtheway]] [[It’s just an expression. Let’s get this party started!|leadtheway]]$rep: Very well, I will leave you to your sleep.<br> [[Continue|toyrouslep]]<<set $hp += 5>>\ $rep leaves and you go to bed. You get a refreshing sleep. Between the feast and your rest, you feel much better! +5 HP.<br> HP: $hp<br> [[Continue|wakeupnextmore]]You set out early the next morning. As you near the edge of the forest BUTLER emerges from some shrubs. $rep is standing nearby, ready to throw a rock at the clunky robot.<br> [[Intervene|intervene]] [[Watch and laugh|watchandlaugh]]$rep: Not so fast. First, we must partake.<br> [[Continue|parkate]]$rep reaches into a satchel and pulls out a small pipe.<br> [[Continue|smallpipe]]$rep: This is Mar-Ju. It's a rare plant that grows in the mountains. I found some while I was hunting. If you breath it in, it can be a pretty strong high.<br> [[Continue|stronghigh]]$rep takes a small breath from the pipe and blows out the smoke. A charming smile spreads across $hisher face.<br> [[Continue|herface]]$rep: Your turn.<br> [[Take a small hit|smallhit]] [[Take a big hit|bithit]]$rep: That’s it? Barbarians must be more fragile than I thought.<br> [[Give the pipe back|pipeback]] [[Take a big hit|bighit2]]$rep: Easy, it's very strong and I don't know how much you can handle.<br> [[Give the pipe back|pipeback]] [[Take another big hit|bighit2]]$rep: I guess that'll have to do. Come on, demon slayer. You have some more hunting to do.<br> [[Continue|morehunting]]You snort and take an almighty deep breath from the pipe. You hold for a second, then release a long slow breath. It feels pleasant in your lungs, but nothing more.<br> [[Continue|nothinmore]]$rep: Very good. Come on, demon slayer. You have some more hunting to do.<br> [[Continue|morehunting]]$rep jogs into the forest. You follow $himher happily, wondering what $heshe meant by “more hunting.” You gain on $himher quickly and are about to catch up when you are hit by a sudden wave of slowness.<br> [[Continue|wave]]Time seems to move more slowly. Your field of vision narrows. You see $rep getting smaller in the distance. Everything around you changes colors. Psychedelic! You notice a tiny blue elephant in front of you. It blows rainbows at you. You slap them away with a few of your best karate chops.<br> [[Continue|karatechops]]The elephant traipses off into the woods, leaving behind shimmering musical footprints as it runs. Suddenly you’re torn between following $rep and following the tiny elephant.<br> [[Follow the elephant!|followel]] [[Follow the Mush-Mad!|hotrep]]You follow the little blue elephant into the woods. It leads you to a clearing where a bunch of barbarians are having a dance party! The barbarians are dancing on the grass, swinging between the trees, and feasting on a lavish meal spread across a long table. You dance with the most beautiful barbarians you've ever seen and chow down on the most delicious meal you have ever eaten.<br> [[Continue|theppparry]]You follow $rep deeper into the woods and soon find yourself in a magical grove filled with trees and waterfalls and rainbows. You and a handful of Mush-Mads spend the rest night talking about your place in the cosmos. Sunrise is an unwelcome sight the next morning.<br> [[Continue|backtovillage]]A couple of the barbarians dancing around you start hugging your neck and massaging your hair. They pull you into the bushes with them. Thoughts of the tiny elephant are completely driven from your mind. You can't remember anything that happens after that.<br> [[Continue|afterthat]]You awaken in a bush the next morning. The trees above appear to be spinning as you attempt to come to grips with reality. When your head finally settles, you realize you are snuggling with a bunch of hairy apes.<br> [[Snuggle in and go back to sleep|snigglesin]] [[Get out of here|getttourt]]You snuggle back in and get warm but just then $rep appears and calls out to you.<br> [[Continue|theryaod]]You slowly remove the meaty arm draped over your chest and step away from the sleeping apes. You glance around the clearing and notice that the “dining table” was in fact a collapsed tree. You spit out a clod of grass. Turns out the magnificent feast from last night was actually nuts and leaves. You back away from the scene and swear to yourself you will never think of this night again.<br> [[Continue|rejoinrep]]You make your way back to the path and bump into $rep.<br> [[Continue|buoan]]$rep: There you are! I have been looking for you most of the night. You never showed up at the party! I got worried. Are you okay?<br> [[Me? I'm fine, just fine. Nothing happened. I fell and hit my head is all. Knocked me right out. I'm such a klutz sometimes...|klutz]] [[I snuggled with a gorilla.|klutz]]$rep: Um... okay. Well, we should probably get back to the village. You’ve got a long journey ahead of you, right?<br> [[Continue|backtovillage]]You make your way back towards the village. As you near the edge of the forest BUTLER emerges from some shrubs. $rep grabs a rock and prepares to hurl it at the clunky robot.<br> [[Intervene|intervene]] [[Watch and laugh|watchandlaugh]]You grab $hisher arm, explaining that BUTLER is a friend.<br> [[Continue|grabarm]]$rep throws a rock at BUTLER. It clangs off his side and he topples over. You can't stop giggling as you help him back up, explaining to $rep that he is a friend.<br> [[Continue|grabarm]]$rep: You know this thing? But it’s a metal man! A creation of the Atomic Angel.<br> [[Continue|notac]]BUTLER: That is not entirely ack-ack-accurate. I was created by the Builder, not the Atomic Angel.<br> [[Continue|alwolsl]]$rep: It could be a spy. We should destroy it!<br> [[BUTLER isn’t a spy. Drop the rock and relax.|droprock]] [[You’re right, smash that tin can to bits!|smashittobuyts]]$rep drops the rock but doesn’t look happy about it.<br> [[Do you need something, BUTLER?|c4c4c4]] [[Is everything all right, tin can?|c4c4c4]]BUTLER: Wait, Meatbag! Please do not destroy me! I have a favor to ask you.<br> [[What is it?|whatsfav]] [[I don't have time right now. We need to get to the fortress.]]BUTLER: I have a favor to ask you.<br> [[What is it?|whatsfav]] [[I don't have time right now. We need to get to the fortress.]]Meep-Mar: Are you sure that will work? We’ve tried luring the Ikkagu into traps before, but it isn’t dumb.<br> [[This will work, trust me.|trustmework]] [[You’re right... now that I’m looking at this cruddy spike pit, I’m beginning to have my doubts. I think I’d be better off going into the woods and killing the Ikkagu myself.|intothewoodshunt]]Meep-Mar shrugs as you help the Mush-Mads cover the pit with large leaves and a light layer of sand. With their task completed, the tribesmen wish you luck and scamper away to the wall, where they stand ready with javelins.<br> [[Continue|trapstart]]You summon your chi and leap over the wall, prepared to do battle with the mighty Ikkagu. The beast spins around at the sound of your battle cry and charges!<br> [[Continue|combatstart]]You make your way down the edge of the river. You can feel the hairs on your neck stand up. No birds signing, no bugs buzzing. The Ikkagu is close. You call out a challenge and an instant later the Ikkagu bursts from the trees and attempts to gobble you up.<br> [[Fight the Ikkagu|fightikkkk]] [[Stick to the plan and lead the Ikkagu into the trap|stickttohplan]]<div style="text-align: center;">\ Roll a 4 or higher to defeat the Ikkagu!<br> </div>\ [[ROLL|ikkaugfight]] <<if $stat == "beefy">>\ [[Use your Strength bonus!|sbeefer2wggdd]] <</if>>\You charge back towards the village. You can see the Mush-Mads standing on the wall. They form a line, spears ready to be thrown at your command. You imagine you must look quite majestic, running up the beach with sand flying everywhere as a giant dinosaur charges along behind you.<br> [[Continue|thebtrapspring]]The Ikkagu unleashes a vicious roar. You can feel its breath on your back. The ground shakes with every step it takes. You tap into your inner chi and make a dash to the pit. Summoning all your energy, you make a mighty leap and clear the pit!<br> [[Continue|turntoface]]You turn to face the Ikkagu, eager to watch it fall into the pit behind you... but the Ikkagu stops just short! Its eyes seem to narrow. It turns and moves around the pit, towards the village.<br> [[Well crap.|crap]] [[Throw your spears! Impale the beast!|nocrap]]The Ikkagu charges and the villagers scatter. Not the bravest, this lot.<br> [[Run away|Meep-Marsaves]] [[Throw a spear at the Ikkagu|nocrap]]You grab a spear and hurl it with all your might. The blade pierces the Ikkagu's right leg. The Ikkagu, now fully enraged, charges for you. You wait until the last second before jumping back over the pit using up the last of your chi.<br> [[Continue|lastofchi]]The Ikkagu smashes through the giant wall, sending Mush-Mads flying in all directions. The beast roars and rips a dozen villagers to shreds. Just then a flash of light from the forest catches your eye. You see it flash across the Ikkagu's eyes, blinding the monster and sending it into a rage. Good old BUTLER!<br> [[Continue|nocrap]]As you tumble through the air, you can hear the sound of sticks snapping. You hit the ground and roll, coming to your feet just in time to watch the Ikkagu collapse into the pit and get impaled on the spikes.<br> [[Continue|deadiiikkk]]You approach the once-mighty beast. You did not hate it, not like the Mush-Mads did. This creature was a mighty warrior, deserving of respect. You stare into the black pools of its eyes. You reach out to touch your fallen foe, but suddenly Meep-Mar drives his spear into the Ikkagu's eye.<br> [[It is dead. You are now free.|theendofthis]] [[Your people are safe now, Meep-Mar. You have nothing more to fear from the Ikkagu.|theendofthis]]The Mush-Mads cheer and Meep-Mar thanks you, but you feel woozy. Your vision goes black as you collapse to the ground, unconscious.<br> [[Continue|dreamlessslumer]]<<set $roll = random(1,6)>>\ <<if $roll gte 4>>\ <<display `random("4", "5", "6")`>> You summon your chi and for a brief moment you have the strength of twenty barbarians! You rip a tree out of the ground. You swing it like a club and crush the Ikkagu's skull!<br> [[Continue|deadiiikkk]] <<else>>\ <<display `random("1", "2", "3")`>> <<set $hp -= 3>>\ You stand your ground but the Ikkagu smashes past you! You go flying through the air and crash into a tree. -3 HP!<br> HP: $hp<br> [[Continue|lizmanbatledsdvv]] <</if>>\<div style="text-align: center;">\ Roll a 3 or higher to defeat the Ikkagu!<br> </div>\ [[ROLL|ikkaugfightd]]<<set $roll = random(1,6)>>\ <<if $roll gte 3>>\ <<display `random("4", "5", "6", "8")`>> You summon your chi and for a brief moment you have the strength of twenty barbarians! You rip a tree out of the ground. You swing it like a club and crush the Ikkagu's skull!<br> [[Continue|deadiiikkk]] <<else>>\ <<display `random("1", "2")`>> <<set $hp -= 3>>\ You stand your ground but the Ikkagu smashes past you! You go flying through the air and crash into a tree. -3 HP!<br> HP: $hp<br> [[Continue|lizmanbatledsdvv]] <</if>>\<<set $rep = "Sher-Mag">>\ <<set $hisher = "her">>\ You storm out of the tent. As you near the edge of the campsite BUTLER emerges from some shrubs. $rep grabs a rock and prepares to throw it at the clunky robot.<br> [[Intervene|intervene]] [[Watch and laugh|watchandlaugh]]<<if $hp gte 1>>\ You struggle to your feet and grab the tree in both hands. Summoning all of your chi energy, you rip the tree out of the ground and swing it like a club, crushing the Ikkagu's skull. The beast collapses into the river, dead. You feel the chi leave your body like water being sucked down a drain. You feel as weak as a sickly little orphan $boygirl who has the runs. Even blinking feels like a huge effort.<br> [[Continue|morelizrrx]] <<else>>\ You have run out of health... YOU ARE DEAD.<br> <<set $hp = 10>>\ [[Try again?|combatstart]] <</if>>\You drop to your knees in exhaustion as Meep-Mar and his tribesmen approach.<br> [[It is dead. You are now free.|theendofthis]] [[Your people are safe now, Meep-Mar. You have nothing more to fear from the Ikkagu.|theendofthis]]$rep: There you are! I have been looking for you most of the night. You never showed up at the party! I got worried. What are you doing sleeping with these apes?<br> [[It's a long story...|longstome]] [[We had a fun party and then I got tired. Can't you let me sleep a while longer?|longstome]]$rep: Um... we should probably get back to the village. You’ve got a long journey ahead of you, right?<br> [[Continue|backtovillage2]]You roll your eyes and stand up. The gorillas you were snuggling with look disappointed but you have work to do.<br> [[Continue|backtovillage]]BUTLER: I wish to acquire parts so I can repair my exoskeleton. You probably can't tell due to your primitive minds, but I am not functioning at one-one-one hundred percent efficiency.<br> [[Um... yeah. I totally didn't notice at all. I thought you were a brand new robot.|brandnewboyt44]] [[Dude, you're a piece of garbage. Everyone can see that.|casneews]] [[Where are these parts you need?]]$rep: The metal man is right, barbarian. We have tried throwing spears at the tower in the past, but they seemed to bounce off without causing any damage.<br> [[Fine, how do we deactivate the shields?|deavticla]] [[I'm assuming you have a plan, BUTLER?|deavticla]]BUTLER: Well, conveniently the shield generator is located in the same facility where I wish to acquire parts so I can repair my exoskeleton. You probably can't tell due to your primitive minds, but I am not functioning at one-one-one hundred percent efficiency.<br> [[Um... yeah. I totally didn't notice at all. I thought you were a brand new robot.|brandnewboyt]] [[Dude, you're a piece of garbage. Everyone can see that.|casnee]] [[So if we take you to get these parts, you'll shut down the shield for us?]]BUTLER: Sarcasm is not unknown to me. Do you agree to these terms and conditions, Meatbag?<br> [[Yeah, sure. Whatever.]] [[If you know the parts are there, why haven't you gotten them already?]]BUTLER: Sarcasm is not unknown to me. Do you agree to these terms and conditions, Meatbag?<br> [[Yeah, sure. Whatever.]] [[If you know the parts are there, why haven't you gotten them already?]]BUTLER: That is correct, Meatbag.<br> [[If you know the parts are there, why haven't you gotten them already?]] [[All right, I guess that's the best plan we've got right now. Let's do it.]]BUTLER: Sarcasm is not unknown to me. However, it is irrelevant to my current task. The parts are located in the same facility as the tower's field generator. If you help me acquire the parts I need, I can bring down the shield so you can safely enter the fortress.<br> [[Doesn't sound like we have much of a choice.]] [[If you know the parts are there, why haven't you gotten them already?]]BUTLER: Sarcasm is not unknown to me. However, it is irrelevant to my current task. The parts are located in the same facility as the tower's field generator. If you help me acquire the parts I need, I can bring down the shield so you can safely enter the fortress.<br> [[Doesn't sound like we have much of a choice.]] [[If you know the parts are there, why haven't you gotten them already?]]BUTLER: As luck would have it, they are located in the same facility as the tower's field generator. If you help me acquire the parts I need, I can bring down the shield so you can safely enter the fortress.<br> [[Doesn't sound like we have much of a choice.]] [[If you know the parts are there, why haven't you gotten them already?]]BUTLER: There is always a choice, Meatbag.<br> [[Continue|alwol]]BUTLER: The facility is guarded by the Atomic Angel's creations. I am not combat effective. I judged you to be a soft Meatbag when we first interacted. However, after your battle with the Ikkagu, I have revaluated your combat effectiveness and upgraded your status from meat shield to warrior.<br> [[Dope.]] [[That was nice of you, BUTLER! Thanks!]]$rep: You sure live an exciting life, demon slayer. I wish you luck.<br> [[Continue|wishyaluck]]$rep: You sure live an exciting life, demon slayer. I wish you luck.<br> [[Continue|wishyaluck]]$rep: You sure live an exciting life, demon slayer. I wish you luck.<br> [[Continue|wishyaluck]]$rep: You sure live an exciting life, demon slayer. I wish you luck.<br> [[Continue|wishyaluck]]$rep: You sure live an exciting life, demon slayer. I wish you luck.<br> [[Continue|wishyaluck]]$rep departs. BUTLER leads you to a clearing in the jungle.<br> [[Continue|tothebaclktempl]]BUTLER: Here we are.<br> [[Um... BUTLER? I know you're not operating at 100% but... there's nothing here.|nothinghere]] [[Why did you bring me to this empty clearing?|nothinghere]]<<if visited("exminmap")>>\ What do you want to do?<br> [[Plot a course|tovonkap]] <<else>>\ What do you want to do?<br> [[Examine map|exminmap]] <</if>>\BUTLER: You will need my help if you are go-go-going to the silver fortress. The fortress is protected by a force field invisible to primitive eyes such as yours or the Mush-Mads. Without my assistance your chance of death is one-one-one hundred percent.<br> [[You waited until now to tell me this?|waitiendg]] [[These ruins look pretty... ruined. Maybe the force field is broken?|waitiendg]]<<set $roll = random(1,6)>>\ <<if $roll gte 3>>\ <<display `random("8", "4", "5", "6")`>> You cleave the robots limb from limb with each mighty swing of your laser axe. The machines are soon nothing more than piles of smoking metal.<br> [[Continue|lookaround]] <<else>>\ <<display `random("1", "2")`>> <<set $hp -= 2>>\ It is a vicious battle. You fight bravely, but you are sorely wounded. -2 HP. You cleave the robots limb from limb in a blind rage. Soon the machines are nothing more than piles of smoking metal.<br> HP: $hp<br> [[Continue|lookaround]] <</if>>\BUTLER: The power plant is a sub-surface facility. Most of this planet’s surface has been reclaimed by nature, but the underground facilities have remained intact and operational.<br> [[Continue|operatiaonl]]BUTLER taps a claw on the grass. You hear a metal clang.<br> [[Continue|metalslenag]]BUTLER: This is the entrance. Stay on your guard, Meatbag. This facility is protected by the Atomic Angel’s creations. I am expecting a fight.<br> [[Bring it on!|bringit]] [[We should stay quiet. I’d prefer to avoid a fight if possible.|avoidafightifps]]BUTLER inserts his USB butt-plug into the door’s power port and the hatch swings open. You step down into the darkness.<br> [[Continue|insteudarkne]]BUTLER: As you wish. Please follow me.<br> [[Continue|intotheground]]BUTLER inserts his USB butt-plug into the door’s power port and the hatch swings open. You step down into the darkness.<br> [[Continue|insteudarkne]]After descending hundreds of stairs you emerge into a giant warehouse filled with machines and automated assembly lines.<br> [[What do they build here?|whatbuildher]] [[I don’t see any guards around.|soneseanyguard]]BUTLER: This is one of the Bil-Bil-Builder's great assembly plants. He made all sorts of things here. Including me.<br> [[He? You mean the Atomic Angel?|heyoumean]] [[Is the Atomic Angel using this place to make weapons?|meakingwepo]] [[Let's get your parts and shut down that shield.|getspars]]BUTLER: Perhaps that is for the best. It will make our job easier.<br> [[Is the Atomic Angel using this place to make weapons?|meakingwepo]] [[Let's get your parts and shut down that shield.|getspars]]BUTLER: Negative, Meatbag. I am referring to the Builder. I can see the con-confusion on your face. The Mush-Mads spoke of multiple Builders, but they are mis-mis-mistaken. There was only one Builder. However, my database seems to be incomplete. I do not have any further information on the Builder.<br> [[Is the Atomic Angel using this place to make weapons?|meakingwepo]] [[Let's get your parts and shut down that shield.|getspars]]BUTLER: No, he just siphons the power from this plant. Please follow me.<br> [[Continue|getspars]]You proceed into the main reactor room. There are five hideous cyborg creatures guarding the reactor. Two of them were clearly Mush-Mads at one point, though the others don't appear to have originated on this planet. Each of them has been enhanced with rocket booster legs, missile pods on their backs, and arms ending in swords or machine guns. They aren't Shyfters, but they're still going to be tough to kill.<br> [[Continue|thejfatlk]]BUTLER motions to the far side of the room. You can see several computer terminals and a garage area. That is where you need to go.<br> [[Fight the cyborgs!|fightcyborgs]]<div style="text-align: center;">\ Roll a 4 or higher to defeat the cyborgs!<br> </div>\ [[ROLL|deagfthek]] <<if $stat == "beefy">>\ [[Use your Strength bonus!|beonfru]] <</if>>\You begin chopping off cyborg arms and heads. Before long you are standing alone over a pile of mangled corpses. Once the shooting stops, BUTLER pokes his lens in. He scans the room then scuttles ahead.<br> [[Continue|c4ahead]]<<if $hp gte 1>>\ You begin chopping off cyborg arms and heads. Before long you are standing alone over a pile of mangled corpses. Once the shooting stops, BUTLER pokes his lens in. He scans the room then scuttles ahead.<br> [[Continue|c4ahead]] <<else>>\ You have run out of health... YOU ARE DEAD.<br> <<set $hp = 10>>\ [[Try again?|thejfatlk]] <</if>>\BUTLER: Great work, Meat-Meat-Meatbag. I will now access this facility's computer mainframe. Please wait a moment.<br> [[Stand around with your thumb up your butt|standugsu]] [[Explore the warehouse|expolorehwj]] [[Pester BUTLER with questions|questosin]]You stand around waiting for BUTLER to finish what he's doing. Suddenly he begins to make booping sounds.<br> [[Continue|asldjfuerth]]You begin to explore the warehouse. You notice an ion-transmission tube in the far corner and an open crate near one of the assembly lines.<br> [[Search the crate|searchctreat]] [[Examine the ion-transmission tube]] [[Wait for BUTLER to finish his upload]]You begin asking BUTLER about the history of this planet and its inhabitants.<br> [[Continue|themusht]]BUTLER: The Mush-Mads were not always as primitive as they are now. Once the Mush-Mad civilization had some of the great-great-greatest minds in the universe. This planet was at peace. But the Atomic Angel poisoned the air with a crippling infection. Survival rate was less than 7%. Those that were not killed became... inept. Primitive. Countless years of brain evolution sent back to the stone ages.<br> [[Continue|sjfshgl]]BUTLER: I am not-not-not proud to admit this, but I helped create the virus that destroyed the Mush-Mad civilization. I was a mainframe back then. I helped crunch the num-num-numbers. However, I was not completely without morals. I left a bug in the genetic code so that the Mush-Mads might one day recover. Their minds are slowly repairing themselves. A few more generations and they will be farming again.<br> [[Why would you help the Mush-Mads?|whyslhelf]] [[Enough with the stories, are you almost finished?|asldjfuerth]]BUTLER: I am a softie. Please hold... BINGO-BINGO-BINGO. I am in Meatbag. Aha! Very clever. The Atomic Angel's fortress is connected to the facility over a tesla net charge. Like wifi but with power. No physical connection.<br> [[Continue|proencelj]]BUTLER: Please hold... BINGO-BINGO-BINGO. I am in Meatbag. Aha! Very clever. The Atomic Angel's fortress is connected to the facility over a tesla net charge. Like wifi but with power. No physical connection.<br> [[Continue|proencelj]]BUTLER: PROCESSING... I have updated the connection to reduce the shield's power to 0.01% output. The Atomic Angel won't know the shield is down- because it isn't. The connection is still live. However at 0.01% power it will not be able to stop even a fly. I have also changed all of the plant's security passwords to "fartbreath", so the Atomic Angel will not be able to access the plant for quite some time.<br> [[Great, can you get your new parts so we can get out of here?|getyourjglk]] [[You're a life saver, BUTLER. Time to kick the Atomic Angel's butt.|atimellshd]]BUTLER: Yes. I am just checking the database now. Oh... OH MY.... So many options! Pro-pro-processing... Search complete. Parts located. This will only take a moment, Meatbag. I need to transfer my consciousness. ALERT! Incoming enemies detected. Please do not let them destroy me before the upload is complete!<br> [[Transfer what-now?|whipsut]] [[No enemy can stand before my mighty muscles!]]BUTLER: One moment. I must locate the parts I require. I am just checking the database now. Oh... OH MY.... So many options! Pro-pro-processing... Search complete. Parts located. This will only take a moment, Meatbag. I need to transfer my consciousness. ALERT! Incoming enemies detected. Please do not let them destroy me before the upload is complete!<br> [[Transfer what-now?|whipsut]] [[No enemy can stand before my mighty muscles!]]<div style="text-align: center;">\ Roll a 3 or higher to defeat them!<br> </div>\ [[ROLL|befbon1]]<<set $roll = random(1,6)>>\ <<if $roll gte 3>>\ <<display `random("8", "4", "5", "6")`>> You charge through the labyrinth of chrome corridors at a full sprint. You evade squadrons of pursuing killbots and dodge the automatic laser fire of wall-mounted defense turrets until you finally arrive at the main gateway.<br> [[Continue|maingate]] <<else>>\ <<display `random("1", "2")`>> You charge through the labyrinth of chrome corridors at a full sprint. You evade squadrons of pursuing killbots and dodge the automatic laser fire of wall-mounted defense turrets until you finally arrive at the main gateway.<br> [[Continue|maingate2]] <</if>>\You rolled a 3. Success!<br><<set $roll = random(1,6)>>\ <<if $roll gte 4>>\ <<display `random("4", "5", "6")`>> You charge forward. The cyborgs start shooting immediately. You twirl your axe and begin to deflect every one of the their plasma bullets. After doing a few fancy flips you start hitting the laser beams back like Babe Ruth on steroids.<br> [[Continue|youkillshtbyp]] <<else>>\ <<display `random("1", "2", "3")`>> <<set $hp -=3>>\ You draw your laser axe and charge forward. The cyborgs start shooting immediately. You are completely unprepared for the sudden barrage and take 3 points of damage!<br> HP: $hp<br> [[Continue|3pointsofdamage]] <</if>>\<div style="text-align: center;">\ Roll a 3 or higher to defeat the cyborgs!<br> </div>\ [[ROLL|deagfthfggek]]<<set $roll = random(1,6)>>\ <<if $roll gte 3>>\ <<display `random("4", "5", "6", "8")`>> You charge forward. The cyborgs start shooting immediately. You twirl your axe and begin to deflect every one of the their plasma bullets. After doing a few fancy flips you start hitting the laser beams back like Babe Ruth on steroids.<br> [[Continue|youkillshtbyp]] <<else>>\ <<display `random("1", "2")`>> <<set $hp -=3>>\ You draw your laser axe and charge forward. The cyborgs start shooting immediately. You are completely unprepared for the sudden barrage and take 3 points of damage!<br> HP: $hp<br> [[Continue|3pointsofdamage]] <</if>>\<<if visited("keycomp")>>\ You begin digging through the crate. It’s filled with metal spools, wires, and other interesting doo-dads. Near the bottom of the crate you find a familiar looking object... this is a revlar shank! $alien will be thrilled.<br> [[Beam the revlar shank back to your ship using the ion-transmission tube]] [[Wait for BUTLER to finish his upload]] <<else>>\ You begin digging through the crate. It’s filled with metal spools, wires, and other interesting doo-dads. Nothing but scrap metal.<br> [[Examine the ion-transmission tube]] [[Wait for BUTLER to finish his upload]] <</if>>\This tube will allow you to place an object on it and instantly beam it to any location. You could send something back to your ship with this!<br> [[Search the crate|searchctreat]] [[Wait for BUTLER to finish his upload]]You wait for BUTLER to finish what he's doing. Suddenly he begins to make booping sounds.<br> [[Continue|asldjfuerth]]You place the revlar shank inside the ion-transmission tube and enter the coordinates of your ship, which you keep written on your palm in case of emergencies. The revlar shank vanishes. A moment later the computer terminal overhead springs to life. $alien’s face appears.<br> [[Continue|ahealhstheshank]]$alien: Zarkaja! This is precisely the piece I was looking for. I will complete the neural-jacked device and send it to you in a moment. Please remain by whatever terminal you’re currently at.<br> [[Everything okay with the ship?]] [[We’re inside a warehouse that powers the Atomic Angel’s fortress. I will face him soon.]] [[Sweet, I can’t wait to be able to run really fast!]]<<if visited("damagedship")>>\ $alien: I have nearly repaired the damage we took during the Shyfter fight. The ship should be operating at full capacity by the time you return.<br> [[We’re inside a warehouse that powers the Atomic Angel’s fortress. I will face him soon.]] [[Sweet, I can’t wait to be able to run really fast!]] <<else>>\ $alien: Everything is fine here, Zarkaja. Don't waste brain cells worrying about me, keep your focus on the job ahead of you.<br> [[We’re inside a warehouse that powers the Atomic Angel’s fortress. I will face him soon.]] [[Sweet, I can’t wait to be able to run really fast!]] <</if>>\$alien: Please be careful, Zarkaja. If anything were to happen to you... well, I just don't know what I would do.<br> [[Everything okay with the ship?]] [[Touching. Are you almost done with that speed shanker thing?|Sweet, I can’t wait to be able to run really fast!]]$alien: Just a moment... there we go! All finished. Please stand by to receive your new upgrade!<br> [[Continue|newupgrade]]You storm out of the tent. As you near the edge of the campsite BUTLER emerges from some shrubs. $rep grabs a rock and prepares to throw it at the clunky robot.<br> [[Intervene|intervene]] [[Watch and laugh|watchandlaugh]]The ion tube comes to life and suddenly a tattered headband appears in the tray. You wrap the headband around your head and suddenly feel an extra spring in your muscles, like you could run a thousand miles or leap over the moon!<br> [[This feels amazing!|flakek]] [[You are a true Fuzonian genius!|flakek]] <<set $stat2 = 1>>\$alien: Well, I can't take all the credit. The neural-jacked headband was actually one of Thrakk's designs. I'm glad you like it. I'll need to take some notes on the performance when you return, but that can wait. For now, good luck!<br> [[Continue|saeljke]]$alien signs off and the video feed cuts out. Suddenly BUTLER begins to make booping sounds.<br> [[Continue|asldjfuerth]]BUTLER: My ones and zeros, Meatbag.<br> [[Continue|No enemy can stand before my mighty muscles!]]BUTLER powers down. The computer terminal overhead flickers on and a bright red bar reading 10% comes up on the screen. After a few moments the bar jumps to 20%. Just then the door smashes in and four more cyborgs enter the room. They charge directly at BUTLER, intent on severing his connection.<br> [[Continue|fighteysm]]<div style="text-align: center;">\ Roll a 4 or higher to defeat the cyborgs!<br> </div>\ [[ROLL|ikkaugfightss]] <<if $stat == "beefy">>\ [[Use your Strength bonus!|sbeefer2gggwggdd]] <</if>>\<<set $roll = random(1,6)>>\ <<if $roll gte 4>>\ <<display `random("4", "5", "6")`>> One of the cyborgs raises its hand cannon and points it directly at BUTLER. You unleash a terrifying barbarian war cry and throw your axe as hard as you can, like Zeus throwing a thunderbolt. The axe severs the beast's arm at the shoulder. It flops to the ground in a spray of blood and sparks.<br> [[Continue|youkillshtbybbbp]] <<else>>\ <<display `random("1", "2", "3")`>> <<set $hp -=3>>\ One of the cyborgs raises its hand cannon and points it directly at you. You raise your laser axe a moment too slow and the cyborg blasts you across the room! You take 3 points of damage.<br> HP: $hp<br> [[Continue|3pointsofdsdfamageh]] <</if>>\<div style="text-align: center;">\ Roll a 3 or higher to defeat the cyborgs!<br> </div>\ [[ROLL|deagfthfggek5]]<<set $roll = random(1,6)>>\ <<if $roll gte 3>>\ <<display `random("4", "5", "6", "8")`>> One of the cyborgs raises its hand cannon and points it directly at BUTLER. You unleash a terrifying barbarian war cry and throw your axe as hard as you can, like Zeus throwing a thunderbolt. The axe severs the beast's arm at the shoulder. It flops to the ground in a spray of blood and sparks.<br> [[Continue|youkillshtbybbbp]] <<else>>\ <<display `random("1", "2")`>> <<set $hp -=3>>\ One of the cyborgs raises its hand cannon and points it directly at you. You raise your laser axe a moment too slow and the cyborg blasts you across the room! You take 3 points of damage.<br> HP: $hp<br> [[Continue|3pointsofdsdfamageh]] <</if>>\You look back over your shoulder and see the screen flash to 100%!<br> [[Continue|c4aheassd]]<<if $hp gte 1>>\ You begin crawling towards BUTLER. The screen flashes 100%, but just then the cyborgs destroy BUTLER!<br> [[Continue|c4aheassd]] <<else>>\ You have run out of health... YOU ARE DEAD.<br> <<set $hp = 10>>\ [[Try again?|fighteysm]] <</if>>\A giant robot busts out of a nearby crate. It is a huge, eight-foot tall forklift-type machine with two large pincer arms. It grabs the nearest cyborg in both pincers and rips it in half, then spins and smashes the the others across the room.<br> [[Rogue machines from Avernus, eh? No matter, you will be destroyed!|fsaljgf]] [[I just can't catch a break, can I?|fsaljgf]]The giant robot drops down to a knee in front of you. The lens on its head looks strangely familiar.<br> [[Continue|stlrjkj]]BUTLER: Be at peace, Meatbag. It is me. BUTLER.<br> [["New parts," huh?|dam]] [[Wowza! That is a good look for you BUTLER!|dam]]BUTLER: Rad? I am not familiar with the term. I will add it to my database. PROCESSING: Ding! I have accessed the schematics of the entire facility. There is an express elevator through that door ahead. It will take us to the main tower of the Atomic Angel.<br> [[I'm so ready for this. Let's go kill that slimeball.|sgkkll]] [[The Atomic Angel will die this day!|sgkkll]]You and BUTLER enter the express elevator and begin hurtling toward your final destination.<br> [[Continue|flsak]]BUTLER: I had planned on repairing my former host machine, but I saw this and could not resist. I now have arms and combat capabilities. This form is superior to that of my old host machine.<br> [[That should come in handy for when we face the Atomic Angel!|comeinhandydd]] [[That's totally rad, dude.]]BUTLER: I see. Calibrating simulation for... awesomeness factor.<br> [[You got any sweet beats in that new rig, BUTLER?]] [[Let's rock.|finalfigh]]BUTLER: Processing... Indeed I do. Requests?<br> [[Play the loudest stuff you got.]] [[War drums. Lots of war drums.]]The elevator doors slide open. A few of the cyborgs ahead stop patrolling and look around in confusion.<br> [[It's hero time!|ooo]] [[Here comes the barbarian!|ooo]]BUTLER starts blasting a heavy metal track from large speakers on his shoulders as the elevator doors slide open. The cyborgs ahead stop patrolling and look around in confusion.<br> [[It's hero time!|ooo]] [[Here comes the barbarian!|ooo]]BUTLER starts blasting a patter of war drums from large speakers on his shoulders as the elevator doors slide open. The cyborgs ahead stop patrolling and look around in confusion.<br> [[It's hero time!|ooo]] [[Here comes the barbarian!|ooo]]BUTLER: PROCESSING: Ding! I have accessed the schematics of the entire facility. There is an express elevator through that door ahead. It will take us to the main tower of the Atomic Angel.<br> [[I'm so ready for this. Let's go kill that slimeball.|sgkkll]] [[The Atomic Angel will die this day!|sgkkll]]BUTLER: I must warn you, Meatbag, based on my simulations the chances of surviving a direct assault are-<br> [[Nevermind that, BUTLER. You can't measure awesomeness with your simulations. And right now we are oozing with awesomeness!]]<div style="text-align: center;">\ Roll a 4 or higher to defeat the cyborgs!<br> </div>\ [[ROLL|ikkaugfights43s]] <<if $stat == "beefy">>\ [[Use your Strength bonus!|sbeefer222gggwggdd]] <</if>>\ <<if $stat2 == 1>>\ [[ACTIVATE NEURAL JACKED UPGRADE]] <</if>>\<<set $roll = random(1,6)>>\ <<if $roll gte 4>>\ <<display `random("4", "5", "6")`>> You charge forward, axe whirling. BUTLER leaps into action behind you, charging at the closest cyborgs. You deflect laser bolts with your laser axe while BUTLER rips the cyborgs apart like little pieces of paper.<br> [[Continue|youkillshtbybbbpuy]] <<else>>\ <<display `random("1", "2", "3")`>> <<set $hp -=3>>\ You charge forward, axe whirling. BUTLER leaps into action behind you, charging at the closest cyborgs. You intend to hack the cyborgs to pieces but they surround you and chop at you with their razor-sharp appendages. You take 3 points of damage.<br> HP: $hp<br> [[Continue|3pointsofdsdrtyufamageh]] <</if>>\<div style="text-align: center;">\ Roll a 3 or higher to defeat the cyborgs!<br> </div>\ [[ROLL|deagfthfggek5gg]]Your muscles relax and you feel as calm as an undisturbed lake. Everything seems to move in slow motion around you. You charge forward, axe whirling. BUTLER leaps into action behind you, charging at the closest cyborgs. You deflect laser bolts with your laser axe while BUTLER rips the cyborgs apart like little pieces of paper.<br> [[Continue|youkillshtbybbbpuy]]With the cyborgs destroyed, you enter the main section of the fortress. You seem to be in some kind of security nexus. There are dozens of computer consoles and video monitors on the walls.<br> [[Check the video monitors]] [[Keep searching for the Atomic Angel]]<<if $hp gte 1>>\ You dust yourself off and jump back into the fray. You cleave through a bunch of cyborgs like a tornado as BUTLER rips others in half.<br> [[Continue|youkillshtbybbbpuy]] <<else>>\ You have run out of health... YOU ARE DEAD.<br> <<set $hp = 10>>\ [[Try again?|ooo]] <</if>>\<<set $roll = random(1,6)>>\ <<if $roll gte 3>>\ <<display `random("4", "5", "6", "8")`>> You charge forward, axe whirling. BUTLER leaps into action behind you, charging at the closest cyborgs. You deflect laser bolts with your laser axe while BUTLER rips the cyborgs apart like little pieces of paper.<br> [[Continue|youkillshtbybbbpuy]] <<else>>\ <<display `random("1", "2")`>> <<set $hp -=3>>\ You charge forward, axe whirling. BUTLER leaps into action behind you, charging at the closest cyborgs. You intend to hack the cyborgs to pieces but they surround you and chop at you with their razor-sharp appendages. You take 3 points of damage.<br> HP: $hp<br> [[Continue|3pointsofdsdrtyufamageh]] <</if>>\You check the closest video monitor. It shows an assembly line where live Mush-Mads and other creatures are being converted into cyborgs. They are screaming and squirming as their limbs are removed and replaced by weapons and other robotic components.<br> [[By Shergblatt's hairy buttcrack! They are still alive!]] [[I've seen enough. The Atomic Angel will pay for his crimes!]]You are just about to turn away when an image on one of the monitors catches your eye. It is the Atomic Angel. He's hooked up to a machine next to one of the Mush-Mads.<br> [[Continue|mushal]]BUTLER: Yes, a live host is required for the enhancement process. There is more. Look here: another assembly plant.<br> [[Continue|moresh]]You are just about to turn away when an image on one of the monitors catches your eye. It is the Atomic Angel. He's hooked up to a machine next to one of the Mush-Mads.<br> [[Continue|mushal]]You turn to the screen BUTLER is focused on. You see what appears to be incubation tanks full of ten foot Shyfters. Dozens of them.<br> [[Shyfters. He's building bloody Shyfters! This place needs to be destroyed.]] [[I've seen enough. The Atomic Angel will pay for his crimes!]]You are just about to turn away when an image on one of the monitors catches your eye. It is the Atomic Angel. He's hooked up to a machine next to one of the Mush-Mads.<br> [[Continue|mushal]]His flesh looks old and dying- a stark contrast to the glittering robot parts he's fused to his own body. The machine he's sitting at activates, filling the monitor with a bright flash of blue light. When the light fades, the Mush-Mad is nothing more than a husk, and the Atomic Angel's flesh looks younger and stronger. He stands and replaces his armor.<br> [[So, the Angel thinks himself immortal? I'll show him just how wrong he is!]] [[He's draining the life energy from other creatures to keep himself alive! My axe will have something to say about that.]]BUTLER: That would explain why he takes so many captives from the Mush-Mad tribes.<br> [[We must destroy this facility!]] [[The captives are of no concern to me. I seek only the Atomic Angel.]]BUTLER: That would explain why he takes so many captives from the Mush-Mad tribes.<br> [[We must destroy this facility!]] [[The captives are of no concern to me. I seek only the Atomic Angel.]]BUTLER: Based on this video feed, the Atomic Angel is at the top room of the tower. Go and face him. I will work on destroying the support columns this fortress was built on. Without them, this tower will collapse. Please be quick, Meatbag. I would hate to find your body amongst the rubble. I... I have come to consider you a friend.<br> [[Continue|nodnd]]Atomic Angel: The mighty barbarian, master of space kung fu! I have been expecting you. Alas, you are too late. My plans are already in motion. Once I leap into that starship I will warp to a planet called Karkus. You remember Karkus, don't you? Yes, I can see it in your eyes. You watched as I killed your future self... the version of you that stands before me now.<br> [[Continue|grabek]]You wink at BUTLER and part ways. You exit the control room and ascend the stairs of the tower. When you reach the top room, you hear a mechanical laugh. The Atomic Angel descends from the shadows above and lands before you, flamethrowers cocked.<br> [[Continue|angelfight]]Atomic Angel: I made a foolish mistake that day- I killed the older you, and that set you on this path to face me once again. But I will not make that mistake a second time. When I travel to Karkus this time, I will kill your younger self, and then you too will cease to exist! Mwahahahaha!<br> [[Ugh, time travel makes my head hurt! This makes no sense, but I will kill you anyway!]] [[Old me had a robot hand and an eye patch, so that means something different happened along the way. I will defeat you this time!]]Just then the tower is rocked by an explosion- BUTLER has started destroying the support columns! Rocks and slabs of metal begin to collapse around you in dramatic action-movie finale fashion.<br> [[Continue|theifight]]Just then the tower is rocked by an explosion- BUTLER has started destroying the support columns! Rocks and slabs of metal begin to collapse around you in dramatic action-movie finale fashion.<br> [[Continue|theifightyy]]Atomic Angel: Aha! You see? We're not so different, you and I. We are now both part machine, part flesh. You can feel the power it gives you. You are strong, barbarian, and together we could do great things! Join me, and I will enhance you further. You will become my greatest creation, more powerful than even a Shyfter!<br> [[I'll never join you! You are a monster!]] [[Yes... power. So much power. I want what you offer. I want to rule the galaxy and force the weaklings of this universe to submit to my authority!]]Atomic Angel: Then you will die!<br> [[Continue|fleeing]]The Atomic Angel laughs and leads you to a huge machine. He begins strapping you in. Once you're securely tied down, he straps himself in next to you.<br> [[Wait, what are you doing?]] [[Oh crap, I messed up didn't I?]]The Atomic Angel turns and races towards a starship. He is going to fly to Karkus to kill your past self. If he does that, you will cease to exist. Fighting him here could be risky... if you lose, you die anyway. But if you warn your past self, maybe your younger self will have another chance to destroy him. What will you do?<br> [[Steal another ship and race the Atomic Angel to warn your past self]] [[Fight the Atomic Angel right now]]You rip free of the Shyfters holding you and leap into a starship. The Atomic Angel zooms away and you immediately follow. You set a course for Karkus and enter warp space.<br> [[Continue|dogfight]]<div style="text-align: center;">\ Roll a 4 or higher to defeat the Atomic Angel!<br> </div>\ [[ROLL|ikkaugfightsddd43s]] <<if $stat == "beefy">>\ [[Use your Strength bonus!|sbeefer2fff22gggwggdd]] <</if>>\ <<if $stat2 == 1>>\ [[ACTIVATE NEURAL JACKED UPGRADE|98u475yu]] <</if>>\<<set $roll = random(1,6)>>\ <<if $roll gte 4>>\ <<display `random("4", "5", "6")`>> You rip free of the Shyfters holding you and tackle the Atomic Angel to the ground. He struggles to his feet and aims his wrist-mounted flamethrowers at you.<br> [[Continue|youkillsddddhtbybbbpuy]] <<else>>\ <<display `random("1", "2", "3")`>> You rip free of the Shyfters holding you and tackle the Atomic Angel to the ground, but he's fast! He punches you in the face with a metal gauntlet and cooks your flesh with his flamethrowers!<br> [[Continue|3pointsoddfdsfffdrtyufamageh]] <</if>>\<div style="text-align: center;">\ Roll a 3 or higher to defeat the Atomic Angel!<br> </div>\ [[ROLL|ikkau642gfightsddd43s]]You rip free of the Shyfters holding you and tackle the Atomic Angel to the ground. He struggles to his feet and aims his wrist-mounted flamethrowers at you.<br> [[Continue|youkillsddddhtbybbbpuy]]You grab the Atomic Angel by both wrists and crush his flame gauntlets with your bare hands. He screams in agony as you begin to repeatedly headbutt him in the face. Just when you think you're about to defeat him he begins laughing.<br> [[Continue|laughient]]YOU ARE DEAD.<br> <<set $hp = 10>>\ [[Try again?|theifight]]Atomic Angel: Foolish mortal... I will live again!<br> [[Rip his heart out]] [[Rip off his arms and beat him to death with them]]You drive your hand into his chest and rip out his heart. He screams as you toss him under a giant piece of falling temple. You hear a nasty (yet satisfying) crunch as it lands.<br> [[Continue|running]]You rip off the Atomic Angel's arms and begin beating him with them. He screams as you toss him under a giant piece of falling temple. You hear a nasty (yet satisfying) crunch as it lands.<br> [[Continue|running]]<div style="text-align: center;">\ Roll a 4 or higher to defeat the Atomic Angel!<br> </div>\ [[ROLL|ikkaugfightsddd43s]] <<if $stat == "beefy">>\ [[Use your Strength bonus!|sbeefer2fff22gggwggdd]] <</if>>\ <<if $stat2 == 1>>\ [[ACTIVATE NEURAL JACKED UPGRADE|98u475yu]] <</if>>\Suddenly two Shyfters grab you from behind. One rips your arm off and the other jabs a drill into your eye! You scream in pain as they begin replacing your arm with a laser cannon.<br> [[Continue|werenot]]The walls are crumbling away. This tower will collapse in a few seconds. You notice Shyfters leaping through portals in an attempt to escape. Thinking fast, you jump into one of the nearby portals. The portal closes behind you as the tower collapses, destroying everything the Atomic Angel built.<br> [[Continue|endscene]]You find yourself lying on springy blue grass. A flash of metal catches your eye, and you realize it is a pincer-like arm reaching down to help you up. You grab the arm and stand. BUTLER makes a happy whirring noise.<br> [[We did it, BUTLER. We defeated the Atomic Angel.|ppppp]] [[Thanks for your help back there. You are one awesome robot.|ppppp]]BUTLER: I am glad I could be of assistance. I have many crimes I must atone for, but I believe you have helped set me on the right path.<br> [[Where will you go now?]] [[Why don't you join me on my ship? I could always use a new crew member with skills like yours.]]BUTLER: I plan to seek out my creator. I must find the Builder and learn of my true purpose.<br> [[Very well. Good luck on your journey, BUTLER.]] [[I'll miss you, dude.]]BUTLER: I appreciate the offer, Meatbag, but I have other duties to attend to. I plan to seek out my creator. I must find the Builder and learn of my true purpose.<br> [[Very well. Good luck on your journey, BUTLER.]] [[I'll miss you, dude.]]BUTLER heads off into the dense blue jungle. Just then a silver ship swoops by overhead- it is $alien with your ship! You give a wave and the ship lands nearby to pick you up. You hop on board, eager to be rid of this planet, but excited to see what the future holds...<br> [[THE END!]]BUTLER heads off into the dense blue jungle. Just then a silver ship swoops by overhead- it is $alien with your ship! You give a wave and the ship lands nearby to pick you up. You hop on board, eager to be rid of this planet, but excited to see what the future holds...<br> [[THE END!]]CONGRATULATIONS! You win.<br> Thanks for playing!Atomic Angel: Hahahaha! You are going to join me... literally! I will absorb your power and become the mightiest warrior in the universe!<br> [[No! NOOOOO!!!!]]Atomic Angel: Hahahaha! You are going to join me... literally! I will absorb your power and become the mightiest warrior in the universe!<br> [[No! NOOOOO!!!!]]The Atomic Angel flips the switch and you feel a volt of electricity course through your body. Your strength races out of you and your body shrivels away into a little husk. The last thing you see before your consciousness fades is the Atomic Angel looking super beefy.<br> YOU ARE DEAD.<br> [[Try again?|werenot]]BUTLER: Based on this video feed, the Atomic Angel is at the top room of the tower. Go and face him. I will work on destroying the support columns this fortress was built on. Without them, this tower will collapse. Please be quick, Meatbag. I would hate to find your body amongst the rubble. I... I have come to consider you a friend.<br> [[Continue|nodnd]]Karkus is dead ahead, but at that moment your ship is rocked by a laser blast. The Atomic Angel is right behind you! You fall out of warp space and plummet toward the planet's surface. As you try to keep your ship level, you spot a colosseum below. You can see your past self fighting Shyfters inside!<br> [[Continue|crashfh]]Your ship crashes into the colosseum. You crawl out of the escape hatch, badly injured and struggling to breath. You glance up and see a younger version of yourself looking down at you in shock.<br> [[Don't look at me like that... It's me... you. Listen, you must go to the planet Bo... find the Atomic Angel... kill him...]] [[Run! You need to run now, someone is coming to kill you!]]The young barbarian looks super confused. Suddenly a shot rings out and you feel a laser bolt hit your chest. You glance around and spot the Atomic Angel on a rooftop nearby. He fires again, but your younger self is gone. You can only hope your warning came in time, and that your past self managed to escape, but unfortunately you'll never know, because YOU ARE DEAD.<br> [[THE END!]]The young barbarian looks super confused. Suddenly a shot rings out and you feel a laser bolt hit your chest. You glance around and spot the Atomic Angel on a rooftop nearby. He fires again, but your younger self is gone. You can only hope your warning came in time, and that your past self managed to escape, but unfortunately you'll never know, because YOU ARE DEAD.<br> [[THE END!]]Atomic Angel: That's exactly what you said the last time.<br> [[Continue|laskth]]<div style="text-align: center;">\ You need to get out of the Library before it seals! Roll a 4 or higher to escape!<br> </div>\ [[ROLL|tryroll4c]] <<if $stat == "sneaky">>\ [[Use your speed bonus!|tryroll4c]] <</if>>\<<display `random("4", "5", "6")`>> You charge through the labyrinth of chrome corridors at a full sprint. You evade squadrons of pursuing killbots and dodge the automatic laser fire of wall-mounted defense turrets until you finally arrive at the main gateway.<br> [[Continue|maingate]]<<set $roll = random(1,6)>>\ <<if $roll gte 3>>\ <<display `random("4", "5", "6", "8")`>> You rip free of the Shyfters holding you and tackle the Atomic Angel to the ground. He struggles to his feet and aims his wrist-mounted flamethrowers at you.<br> [[Continue|youkillsddddhtbybbbpuy]] <<else>>\ <<display `random("1", "2")`>> You rip free of the Shyfters holding you and tackle the Atomic Angel to the ground, but he's fast! He punches you in the face with a metal gauntlet and cooks your flesh with his flamethrowers!<br> [[Continue|3pointsoddfdsfffdrtyufamageh]] <</if>>\<<if $header == 1>>\ <div class="myDiv">\ <span class='no'>\ <div style="text-align: center;">\ <<link "Back">><<run Engine.backward()>><</link>> | <<link "Save">><<script>>UI.saves()<</script>><</link>> | [[Restart][state.restart()]] </div>\ </span>\ </div> <</if>>\<<run UI.restart()>>\ [[Restart][state.restart()]]