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<<set $header = 0>>\ <div style="text-align: center;">\ <p class="double">\ <br>CRYPT SHYFTER ANGEL'S PAWN<br> by kung fu space barbarian<br> </p>\ [[Start|stlkt]] </div>\ <<set $inventory= []>>\ <<set $hp = 10>>\ <<set $maxhp = 10>>\ <<set $gold = 25>>\ <<set $defense = 2>>\ <<set $level = 1>>\ <<set $king = 1>>\ <<set $thermalpod = random(2,3)>>\ <<set $pizza = random(2,3)>>\ <<set $atk = 3>>\ <<set $accuracy = 2>>\ <<set $def = 0>>\ <<set $speed = 3>>\ <<set $header = 1>>\<div style="text-align: center;">\ <table style="width:100%"> <tr> <td>You</td> <td><<display 'hpbar'>></td> <td>$hp/$maxhp</td> </tr> <tr> <td>Enemy</td> <td><<display 'ehpbar'>></td> <td>$ehp/$maxehp</td> </tr> </table>\ </div>\<<if $hp == $maxhp>>\ <progress value="100" max="100"> </progress> <<elseif ($hp gte (.75 * $maxhp)) and ($hp lte (1 * $maxhp))>>\ <progress value="75" max="100"> </progress> <<elseif ($hp gte (.50 * $maxhp)) and ($hp lte (.75 * $maxhp))>>\ <progress value="50" max="100"> </progress> <<elseif ($hp gte (.25 * $maxhp)) and ($hp lte (.50 * $maxhp))>>\ <progress value="25" max="100"> </progress> <<elseif $hp lte 0>>\ <progress value="0" max="100"> </progress> <<else>>\ <progress value="5" max="100"> </progress> <</if>>\<div style="text-align: center;">\ <<if $pizza gte 1>>\ <<set $pizza -= 1>>\ <<set $hp = $maxhp>>\ <<display 'battlescreen'>>\ Tasty! HP restored!<br> [[Defend|enemyturn]] <<else>>\ <<display 'battlescreen'>>\ You'll poop in your pants if you eat too much pizza!<br> [[Next|yourturn]] <</if>>\ </div>\<div style="text-align: center;">\ <<set $ehp = random(4,5) + ($level * 2)>>\ <<set $maxehp = $ehp>>\ <<if visited("Use the meditation chambers")>>\ <<display 'battlescreen'>>\ First strike!<br> [[Attack]] <<link `"Throw Thermal Pod (x" + $thermalpod + ")"` "Throw Thermal Pod">><</link>> <<link `"Eat Pizza (x" + $pizza + ")"` "Eat Pizza">><</link>> <<else>>\ <<display 'battlescreen'>>\ <<set $dice = random(1,6)>>\ <<if $dice lte $speed>>\ First strike!<br> [[Attack]] <<link `"Throw Thermal Pod (x" + $thermalpod + ")"` "Throw Thermal Pod">><</link>> <<link `"Eat Pizza (x" + $pizza + ")"` "Eat Pizza">><</link>> <<else>>\ The enemy makes the first move!<br> [[Next|enemyturn]] <</if>>\ <</if>>\ </div>\<<if $ehp == $maxehp>>\ <progress value="100" max="100"> </progress> <<elseif ($ehp gte (.75 * $maxehp)) and ($ehp lte (1 * $maxehp))>>\ <progress value="75" max="100"> </progress> <<elseif ($ehp gte (.50 * $maxehp)) and ($ehp lte (.75 * $maxehp))>>\ <progress value="50" max="100"> </progress> <<elseif ($ehp gte (.25 * $maxehp)) and ($ehp lte (.50 * $maxehp))>>\ <progress value="25" max="100"> </progress> <<elseif $ehp lte 0>>\ <progress value="0" max="100"> </progress> <<else>>\ <progress value="5" max="100"> </progress> <</if>>\<<run UI.restart()>>\ Too bad, you died.<br> [[Restart][state.restart()]]<<set $level += 1>>\ <<set $hpincrease = random(1,3)>>\ <<set $hp += $hpincrease>>\ <<set $maxhp += $hpincrease>>\ <<set $tohit += 1>>\ <div style="text-align: center;">\ You reached <b>Level $level</b><br> Good job. You get +$hpincrease HP <<set $lootgain = random(1,3)>>\ <<if $lootgain gte 2>>\ <<set $lootitems = random(1,2)>>\ <<if $lootitems == 1>>\ <<set $pizza += 1>>\ +1 pizza <<else>>\ <<set $thermalpods += 1>>\ +1 thermal pod <</if>>\ <</if>>\ <br>[[Continue|afterallthefights]] </div>\<<if $state == 1>>\ <<goto "proveworth">>\ <</if>>\ <<if $state == 2>>\ <<goto "mechanix">>\ <</if>>\ <<if $state == 3>>\ <<goto "raptirs">>\ <</if>>\ <<if $state == 4>>\ <<goto "raptirs2">>\ <</if>>\ <<if $state == 5>>\ <<goto "ikkuud">>\ <</if>>\ <<if $state == 6>>\ <<goto "spirates">>\ <</if>>\ <<if $state == 7>>\ <<goto "garbinnns">>\ <</if>>\ <<if $state == 8>>\ <<goto "tintinwarrior">>\ <</if>>\ <<if $state == 9>>\ <<goto "shyftyfight">>\ <</if>>\ <<if $state == 11>>\ <<goto "shyfty33fight">>\ <</if>>\ <<if $state == 10>>\ <<goto "angelfight">>\ <</if>>\ <<if $state == 14>>\ <<goto "angelfiddddght">>\ <</if>>\<div style="text-align: center;">\ <<set $dice = random($accuracy,6)>>\ <<set $enemydamage = random(1,$atk) + $level>>\ <<if $dice gte $accuracy>>\ <<set $ehp -= $enemydamage>>\ <<if $ehp lte 0>>\ <<set $ehp = 0>>\ <<display 'battlescreen'>>\ Attack deals $enemydamage damage! You win!<br> [[Continue|gotowin]] <<else>>\ <<display 'battlescreen'>>\ Attack deals $enemydamage damage!<br> [[Defend|enemyturn]] <</if>>\ <<else>>\ <<display 'battlescreen'>>\ Attack missed!<br> [[Defend|enemyturn]] <</if>>\ </div>\<div style="text-align: center;">\ What weapon do you fight monsters with?<br> [[Ray Gun]] [[Star Sword]] </div>\The crocodile takes a huge bite out of your boat, causing it to sink. You leap to the shore but the crocodile lunges after you- you'll have to fight it!<br> [[Fight]] <<set $enemy = 1>>\ <<set $battlecount = 1>>\<div style="text-align: center;">\ <<set $dice = random(1,6)>>\ <<set $enemydamage = random(1,6)>>\ <<if $dice lte $speed>>\ <<set $damagecalc = $enemydamage - $def>>\ <<if $damagecalc lte 0>>\ <<set $damagecalc = 0>>\ <</if>>\ <<set $hp -= $damagecalc>>\ <<if $hp lte 0>>\ <<set $hp = 0>>\ <<display 'battlescreen'>>\ You take $damagecalc damage! You are dead!<br> [[Continue|gotodead]] <<else>>\ <<display 'battlescreen'>>\ You take $damagecalc damage!<br> [[Attack]] <<link `"Throw Thermal Pod (x" + $thermalpod + ")"` "Throw Thermal Pod">><</link>> <<link `"Eat Pizza (x" + $pizza + ")"` "Eat Pizza">><</link>> <</if>>\ <<else>>\ <<display 'battlescreen'>>\ <<print either("Dodged","Evaded","Avoided")>> enemy attack!<br> [[Attack]] <<link `"Throw Thermal Pod (x" + $thermalpod + ")"` "Throw Thermal Pod">><</link>> <<link `"Eat Pizza (x" + $pizza + ")"` "Eat Pizza">><</link>> <</if>>\ </div>\<div style="text-align: center;">\ You died.<br> [[Try again|Fight]] <<set $hp = $maxhp>>\ </div>\<div style="text-align: center;">\ <<display 'battlescreen'>>\ What do you want to do?<br> [[Attack]] <<link `"Throw Thermal Pod (x" + $thermalpod + ")"` "Throw Thermal Pod">><</link>> <<link `"Eat Pizza (x" + $pizza + ")"` "Eat Pizza">><</link>> </div>\<div style="text-align: center;">\ What kind of armor do you wear?<br> <<if visited("Dude")>>\ [[Loincloth]] <<else>>\ [[Chainmail Bikini]] <</if>>\ [[Fuzonian Battle Harness]] </div>\But enough about gear! Let's get on with the story.<br> [[Next|alsakdkd]]<div style="text-align: center;">\ <<if $thermalpod gte 1>>\ <<set $thermalpod -= 1>>\ <<set $ehp -= random(4,8) + $level>>\ <<if $ehp lte 0>>\ <<set $ehp = 0>>\ <<display 'battlescreen'>>\ You melt the enemy with a Thermal Pod! You win!<br> [[Continue|gotowin]] <<else>>\ <<display 'battlescreen'>>\ You melt the enemy with a Thermal Pod!<br> [[Defend|enemyturn]] <</if>>\ <<else>>\ <<display 'battlescreen'>>\ You don't have any Thermal Pods!<br> [[Next|yourturn]] <</if>>\ </div>\You take stock of your surroundings. Dark. Purple. Foreign. You search your frazzled mind for answers, trying to remember the basics. Who are you?<br> [[I am a barbarian prince!|Dude]] [[I am a barbarian princess!|Chick]]You pull out the compass that strange little shaman gave you. The details of that encounter become hazier with every planetary jump. The compass is black, with grooves cut deep into its face, yet is smooth to the touch. It hums with either magic or technology, neither of which you understand.<br> [[Next|sidf]]The grooves in the compass emit a blinding flash of light. When your vision recovers you notice blue luminescent footprints dotting the sand. An eerie voice in the wind whispers to you, but its words are too quiet to make out.<br> [[Follow the footprints]]<<if visited("ancieng")>>\ Nothing of interest catches your eye.<br> [[Press your palm to the face of the compass and activate its power]] [[Scream at the top of your lungs to attract the local fauna to your position]] <<else>>\ You scan the horizon, searching for any obvious points of interest. Amidst the desolate landscape you notice the ruins of an ancient city far in the distance.<br> [[Next|ancieng]] <</if>>\<<if visited("suns")>>\ Haven't you learned your lesson? That's not a good idea.<br> [[Press your palm to the face of the compass and activate its power]] [[Stow the compass and look for landmarks on this dark, lonely planet]] <<else>>\ You scream at the top of your lungs. Several large bat-like creatures flutter out from among the rocks and disappear into the blinding light of the twin suns.<br> [[Next|suns]] <</if>>\The footprints fade with each step you take. Luckily, the coordinates you were given for this planetary jump were fairly precise. You arrive at a crumbling stone monolith a few moments before the glowing footprints vanish completely from your vision.<br> [[Enter the monolith]] [[Sit and meditate]]What will you do?<br> [[Stow the compass and look for landmarks on this dark, lonely planet]] [[Scream at the top of your lungs to attract the local fauna to your position]] [[Press your palm to the face of the compass and activate its power]]Suddenly the ground begins to rumble. An instant later the canyon floor explodes outward as a massive, spear-headed serpent emerges from the depths of the earth!<br> [[Next|serpent]]The hair on the back of your neck stands on end as the giant snake unleashes a blood-curdling hiss. Venom drips from the beast's monstrous fangs. You draw your $weapon and prepare for the fight of your life.<br> [[Fight]] <<set $state = 1>>\Dust swirls and the air swims with electrical energy as you materialize into existence with concussive force. Your head feels several sizes too big and your stomach lurches like a ship in stormy seas.<br> [[Next|1]]You heave a deep sigh of relief as silence falls over the land once more. Perhaps screaming at the top of your lungs isn't the best strategy after all.<br> [[Press your palm to the face of the compass and activate its power]] [[Look for landmarks on this dark, lonely planet|Stow the compass and look for landmarks on this dark, lonely planet]]The instant your foot crosses the threshold of the monolith's gaping doorway, you hear a terrifying shout. You roll out of the way and assume a fighting stance as a powerfully muscled cyborg with the head of a triceratops charges at you.<br> [[Fight]] <<set $state = 2>>\You sit before the impressive monolith and begin to meditate on the mysteries of life and your place among the cosmos. This place is full of vibrant spiritual energy. Your focus sharpens to a fine edge, like the blade of a katana. You become One With The Universe.<br> [[Next|asldkl]]The giant mechanical triceratops holds up a hand, motioning for you to stop. The giant creature bows before you.<br> [[Next|akmsk]]MECHANOX: It is good to see you again, barbarian, though it would seem your wits have lost their edge. It is not like you to barge into a strange alien temple without first checking for danger.<br> [[Next|asd89]]MECHANOX: Though it behooves one to look inward and discover the truths of the universe through introspection, we must never forget that we are all connected in this vast cosmic realm. In troubling times, it is necessary and often wise to seek the help of others.<br> [[Next|askdlk]]MECHANOX: Indeed! I know of the whispers that weigh heavily upon your mind. Unfortunately, the rumors are true: my arch-nemesis, the Atomic Angel, has returned.<br> [[But how is this possible?]] [[If the Atomic Angel is back, then it is my duty to destroy him again.]]MECHANOX: I am pleased to see your space kung fu is as powerful as ever.<br> [[I come seeking guidance, O Wise Mechanox.]] [[Enough pleasantries. I bring dark tidings.]]MECHANOX: Unfortunately, this is one such situation. The rumors that weigh heavily upon your mind are true: my arch-nemesis, the Atomic Angel, has returned.<br> [[But how is this possible?]] [[If the Atomic Angel is back, then it is my duty to destroy him again.]]MECHANOX: This universe is infinite, barbarian. The Atomic Angel and I have slain each other a thousand times in a thousand dimensions, yet still we both live and fight.<br> [[Next|as09]]MECHANOX: You think as I once did, barbarian. But I would counsel against reckless action. The Atomic Angel and I have slain each other a thousand times in a thousand dimensions, yet still we both live and fight.<br> [[Next|as09]]MECHANOX: Unless all the timelines across the multiverse can be forged into one, I am afraid the Atomic Angel can never truly be defeated.<br> [[I will find a way to merge the timelines and kill the Atomic Angel.]] [[Is it possible to merge the timelines?]]MECHANOX: Do you think that is wise, barbarian? What would happen to all the lives across the separate timelines if there were to be a great conjunction?<br> [[Next|sdgs77]]MECHANOX: I do not have an answer to that, barbarian. Even if I did, do you think such action is wise? What would happen to all the lives across the separate timelines if there were to be a great conjunction?<br> [[Next|sdgs77]]MECHANOX: You are a rare spirit, barbarian. Not all could have lived through such an experience and come out the other end intact. I admire your courage, but there are still many trials on your road ahead.<br> [[Next|Then there is no hope at all. We should let the Atomic Angel create a new army of Shyfters and take over the galaxy. Is that your plan?]]MECHANOX: I cannot stop the cycle of death and rebirth among the stars any more than I can stop the waves from crashing upon the beach. I am not all-powerful. I can only offer you guidance.<br> [[Next|asdifgai]]MECHANOX: Do you think the people of this universe could continue to live sane and normal lives if they were introduced to a limitless number of their alternate selves?<br> [[I watched myself die! My resolve is as strong as ever.]] [[Then there is no hope at all. We should let the Atomic Angel create a new army of Shyfters and take over the galaxy. Is that your plan?]]MECHANOX: This is my counsel: a fire cannot burn without oxygen. Cut off the Atomic Angel's power at its source and you will find the victory you seek.<br> [[Your words confuse me, sage.]] [[Thank you, master. I will meditate on your teachings.]]MECHANOX: I can offer no greater insight than this, barbarian. If you seek to understand the secrets of the universe, I am afraid you must look elsewhere. This is only a simple text adventure written by a guy who calls himself kungfuspacebarbarian, after all.<br> [[Next|aslkdf]]MECHANOX: Very good. You have truly mastered the sacred art of space kung fu.<br> [[Next|aslkdf]]A mysterious light shimmers from somewhere in the heart of the ruins. It may be worth your while to investigate when you have time.<br> [[Press your palm to the face of the compass and activate its power]] [[Scream at the top of your lungs to attract the local fauna to your position]]A powerfully muscled cyborg with the head of a triceratops appears before you. You are both at total peace. Though you are separated by the vast gulfs of space and time, in this moment your minds are connected.<br> [[Next|a998sg]]MECHANOX: It is good to see you again, barbarian. I am pleased to see your mind is as sharp as ever.<br> [[I come seeking guidance, O Wise Mechanox.]] [[Enough pleasantries. I bring dark tidings.]]MECHANOX: There is one final vision I wish to share with you. Look! This is the Shyfter who calls himself Burnscar. It is by his hand that the Atomic Angel has arisen once again.<br> [[What connection does Burnscar have to the Atomic Angel?]] [[I should have known a Shyfter would be involved in this.|What connection does Burnscar have to the Atomic Angel?]]MECHANOX: Sycophants always flock to those with power. Burnscar has twisted the forces of magic and science in order to bring the Atomic Angel back to life. No doubt he expects to be lavishly rewarded with a position of power for his loyalty.<br> [[Next|asd98]]MECHANOX: But know this, barbarian- power is never given. Power is taken. Burnscar will never be anything more than a pawn to the Atomic Angel, and once his usefulness has ended he will be cast aside like a piece of trash.<br> [[Burnscar is not my concern. I will find the Atomic Angel and destroy him.|Stupid Shyfter. Serves him right!]] [[Stupid Shyfter. Serves him right!]]MECHANOX: Do not be so quick to dismiss Burnscar or you risk falling into the same trap as the Atomic Angel! Anyone capable of restoring life to a god is a force to be reckoned with, no matter how ill-conceived their intentions. Burnscar may yet have a role to play in the trials ahead.<br> [[What do you suggest I do?]]MECHANOX: Stay vigilant. A great many forces are in motion now. Like a boulder tumbling down a hill, the impending conflict will be nearly impossible to stop.<br> [[Next|as9g9]]MECHANOX: I urge you to meditate deeply on what I have told you. There are dark times ahead, but if your heart remains true then we may yet see the light on the other side.<br> [[Thank you for your wisdom, Master.]] [[Do you have any more advice before I go?|Thank you for your wisdom, Master.]]MECHANOX: I have no further knowledge to impart upon this matter. What you do next is your choice alone.<br> [[Next|asdf99g]]MECHANOX: Should you choose to remain here, I will grant you access to the training grounds and meditation chambers. You are welcome to stay as long as you like. But I urge you not to tarry long!<br> [[Next|agfsdgad]]MECHANOX: The Atomic Angel grows in strength with each cycle of the moon. Once he regains his full power, you can be sure he will begin construction on new factories in order to create an even more powerful army of Shyfters.<br> [[Enough chit-chat! I have work to do.]] [[Thank you, master.]]<<if visited("Sit and meditate")>>\ Mechanox disappears as your connection is severed. You find yourself sitting before the stone monolith once again.<br> [[Use the training grounds]] [[Use the meditation chambers]] [[Continue your quest]] <<else>>\ Mechanox bows before you and retires into one of the monolith's grand chambers.<br> [[Use the training grounds]] [[Use the meditation chambers]] [[Continue your quest]] <</if>>\<<if visited("Sit and meditate")>>\ Mechanox disappears as your connection is severed. You find yourself sitting before the stone monolith once again.<br> [[Use the training grounds]] [[Use the meditation chambers]] [[Continue your quest]] <<else>>\ Mechanox bows before you and retires into one of the monolith's grand chambers.<br> [[Use the training grounds]] [[Use the meditation chambers]] [[Continue your quest]] <</if>>\You spend the rest of the day practicing kung fu in the training grounds. Your dedication is rewarded! From now on, all of your attacks will deal extra damage. But the day is getting late, and time is of the essence.<br> [[Next|Continue your quest]] <<set $atk += 1>>\You spend the rest of the day deep in meditation. Your masterful focus is rewarded! From now on, you will always strike first in combat. But the day is getting late, and time is of the essence.<br> [[Next|Continue your quest]]You gather your things and prepare for the next phase of your journey. There should be a warp gate somewhere on the far side of this planet that will take you to the Atomic Angel's lair.<br> [[Next|lairi]]As you venture out into the badlands, something compels you to look back. When you do, you are surprised to see that the monolith has vanished. You shake your head in amusement. Science or sorcery, you'll never understand it. You take a deep breath and press on.<br> [[Next|sgag]]You travel through rocky canyons and vast, open deserts for what feels like hours. You're just about to stop for a rest under the shade of a jagged rock formation when you suddenly hear the sound of movement nearby.<br> [[Draw your weapon and prepare for a fight]] [[Order the intruder to show themselves]] [[Stay quiet and keep moving]]You draw your $weapon and take a cautious step backward, but you trip over a rock and fall flat on your butt!<br> [[Next|asdii]]You shout for the intruder to step into the light. There is only silence. You take a cautious step backward as you search for any sign of life, but you trip over a rock and fall flat on your butt!<br> [[Next|asdii]]You stealthily creep away, hoping to avoid any confrontation with whatever was lurking among the rocks. You begin desperately searching for a new place to rest, scanning the desolate alien landscape for anything that might provide shelter against the heat of the twin suns blazing down upon you.<br> [[Next|ruasngk]]You don't make it far before your ears pick up the sound of movement. You press forward cautiously, but there is no doubt in your mind: someone is following you.<br> [[Turn and confront your pursuer]] [[Run into the desert as fast as you can]]You draw your $weapon and begin walking slowly backward as you search for any signs of the intruder. Just then you trip over a rock and fall flat on your butt!<br> [[Next|asdii]]You sprint ahead, but by now you are completely exhausted. You don't make it more than a few steps before your legs give out beneath you. You crash to the ground and roll over onto your back, hoping to catch a glimpse of whoever is following you.<br> [[Next|asdii]]Your heart hammers in your chest. You begin to scramble backwards as a large shadow falls over you. Your pursuer's metallic body is so large that it completely blocks out the light of the twin suns. You are sure this is the end. Then the creature speaks.<br> [[Next|asd0g9sdg]]BUTLER: Is that you, Meat-Meat-Meatbag?<br> [[BUTLER!? I never thought I'd see you again!]] [[Thank Shergblatt! I thought you were a Shyfter. I'm in no condition to fight right now. I would have been charred monkey meat if it came down to it.]]BUTLER: Die-die-diagnostic scan complete. Meatbag confirmed. Target match: NEGATIVE. My search for the Bil-Bil-Builder continues. No matter. At long last, I have discovered my true purpose. No setback in the galaxy can crush the joy I feel at this moment.<br> [[How did you find me?]] [[Who is the Builder?]] [[What is your true purpose?]]BUTLER: Die-die-diagnostic scan complete. Meatbag confirmed. Target match: NEGATIVE. My search for the Bil-Bil-Builder continues. No matter. At long last, I have discovered my true purpose. No setback in the galaxy can crush the joy I feel at this moment.<br> [[How did you find me?]] [[Who is the Builder?]] [[What is your true purpose?]]BUTLER: I detected your footprints leading away from the Builder's last known point of origin. I followed the trail to this spot, hope-hope-hoping to find the Builder. I did not expect to find you, Meatbag.<br> [[Who is the Builder?]] [[What is your true purpose?]]BUTLER: The Builder is older than time. The Builder is eternal. The Builder is my creator.<br> [[Are you talking about Mechanox?]] [[How did you find me?]] [[What is your true purpose?]]BUTLER: My core processing unit contains a thermal exhaust vent with enough space to insert a Catalyst Beacon. If properly inserted, my programming can activate the Catalyst Beacon at any time.<br> [[Next|asidg]]BUTLER: No-No-No, Meatbag. I am talking about the Builder. Eternity must be a concept too advanced for your primitive brain. I will try again: Builder built me. Builder very old. Older than stars and dirt. Do you understand, Meatbag?<br> [[How did you find me?]] [[What is your true purpose?]]BUTLER: The moment I ack-ack-activate the Catalyst Beacon, I will have fulfilled my true purpose.<br> [[What does a Catalyst Beacon do?]] [[Have you found a Catalyst Beacton yet?]]BUTLER: Activating a Catalyst Beacon in my core processing unit would overload my vaporator, resulting in the largest explosion in all of space and time.<br> [[Next|sgsgfg]]BUTLER: Neg-Neg-Negative, Meatbag. But perhaps you can help me locate one. Then I can complete the role I was created for so many years ago.<br> [[What does a Catalyst Beacon do?]]BUTLER: Non-positive response de-de-detected. Perhaps you would reconsider your analysis of my true purpose if you understood the mathematic formulations behind my actions.<br> [[Next|dsgs]]BUTLER: Non-positive response de-de-detected. Perhaps you would reconsider your analysis of my true purpose if you understood the mathematic formulations behind my actions.<br> [[Next|dsgs]]BUTLER: Even your primitive pea brain can see that such an action results in a net positive effect.<br> [[How can killing also be saving?]]BUTLER: Processing explanation: The resulting explosion caused by the detonation of a Catalyst Beacon within my core processing unit would be so powerful that it would create a Singularity Event.<br> [[Next|asdfgiig]]BUTLER: Put simply, it means this: Big Boom merges all timelines into one. Time restarts at point of explosion. Multiverse ceases to exist. That is my true purpose.<br> [[A way to merge the timelines! This is just what I was looking for!]] [[I don't care about math. I can't let you kill all those people.]]BUTLER: Affirmative response. Yes, M-M-Meatbag. Death after the Singularity Event would be final. That includes your own death.<br> [[Next|as90g9g]]BUTLER: If your programming tells you that my mathematical formulae are in-in-inaccurate, then I believe you may be suffering from faulty wiring.<br> [[Next|as8g9]]BUTLER: But-But-But it may be the only hope of defeating the Atomic Angel and the Shyft-Shyft-Shyfters for good.<br> [[Where can we find a Catalyst Beacon?]] [[I don't care about math. I can't let you kill all those people.]]BUTLER: We must travel to the Edge of the Universe.<br> [[Next|as8g9]]You have reached a split in the adventure. You may now choose to pursue any side quests you have unlocked up to this point. You must complete any side quests you wish to follow before continuing on with the main quest. Once the main quest is initiated, there will be no going back.<br> [[Next|sidequests]]Side quests for fun and glory:<br> <<if visited("ancieng")>>\ [[Explore the ruined city you saw earlier]] <</if>>\ [[Travel to the Edge of the Universe with BUTLER]] [[Continue the main quest]]BUTLER leads you through the Brakken Wastes, a twisting maze of canyons and trenches hemmed in by bubbling pits of noxious black tar.<br> [[Next|tarrr]]You make your way towards the ruined city in the distance. BUTLER follows without question.<br> [[Next|runienddshi]]BUTLER: Farewell, Meatbag. I will travel to the Edge of the Universe and continue my quest to fulfill my true purpose. I hope we meet again.<br> [[See ya later, alligator.]] [[Why don't you come with me? I could use your help.]]BUTLER: All life within the adjacent 3-quadrillion galaxies would be instantly extinguished. This is my true purpose!<br> [[What!? That's terrible! Why would you want to activate a device like that?]] [[You're a walking bomb, BUTLER! I can't allow you to kill all those people.]]BUTLER: By ending the lives of sentient beings across 3-quadrillion galaxies, the simulations predict a 96.7% chance of saving the lives of sentient beings across 5-quintillion more.<br> [[Next|askgg]]BUTLER: After a Singularity Event, the consequences of your choices would be final. There would be no going back. No do-overs. No chances to fix past mistakes.<br> [[Next|asdfgggg]]You pass through a series of mile high canyons formed out of solid quartz before finally descending into a mysterious valley. The valley is covered in dense, colorful foliage. The pathway ahead leads into a dark jungle.<br> [[Next|darkjunglg]]Unseen alien birds cry out as you pass under the heavy canopy of trees. Wind rustles through the leaves as you cautiously weave your way through the tangled roots and thorny underbrush.<br> [[Next|nedjdjddd]]You come to an abrupt halt as the sounds around you begin to shift. The birds have ceased their squawking and the rustling in the leaves no longer sounds like the wind.<br> [[Next|d77d66]]BUTLER scuttles off into the bushes behind you.<br> [[Next|fsouround]]BUTLER’s clawed metal hands retract and are immediately replaced with laser cannons. The robot’s single red eye begins scanning the surrounding forest.<br> [[Next|fsouround]]<<set $weapon = "Ray Gun">>\ <<set $$accuracy -= 1>>\ The Ray Gun increases your accuracy in combat.<br> [[Next|Next]]<<set $weapon = "Star Sword">>\ <<set $atk += 1>>\ The Star Sword deals extra damage in combat.<br> [[Next|Next]]<<set $armor = "Loincloth">>\ <<set $speed += 1>>\ A Loincloth increases your speed in combat.<br> [[Next|startit]]<<set $armor = "Chainmail Bikini">>\ <<set $speed += 1>>\ A Chainmail Bikini increases your speed in combat.<br> [[Next|startit]]<<set $armor = "Fuzonian Battle Harness">>\ <<set $def += 1>>\ A Fuzonian Battle Harness increases your defense in combat.<br> [[Next|startit]]Of course! It all comes back to you in a rush. You are the mighty barbarian prince, exiled from your homeworld on Azmar and thrust into the mysterious cosmic void beyond the stars.<br> [[Next|dude2]]Of course! It all comes back to you in a rush. You are the legendary barbarian princess! Seducer of greatness, destroyer of worlds and all that oppose you!<br> [[Next|chick2]]You are the swinger of swords, smasher of skulls, hunter of Shyfters, and master of the deadliest space kung fu in the universe!<br> [[Next|Start]]You are a just ruler and staunch defender of the nine realms. All who face you quake in their space boots! No Shyfter is safe from your wrath!<br> [[Next|Start]]Teleportation never gets easier. You do not trust it, even after all this time. The breakdown and rearranging of your molecules cannot be good for your nervous system. But alas, some evils must be endured for the sake of your quest to kill the Shyfters.<br> [[Next|askj]]You listen carefully. Definitely not the wind. Something is moving stealthily through the bushes!<br> [[BUTLER, find a place to hide.]] [[If you have weapons, get them ready, Tin Man.]]You hear a soft growl, which rips into a hideous snarl as a large velociraptor leaps out of the bushes! The raptor hisses at you and flexes its powerful claws. A moment later three more raptors rush out of the bushes.<br> [[Next|as77332eed]]The raptors circle you like a flock of ravenous birds. Blood and slime drips from their teeth and claws.<br> [[Fight]] <<set $state = 3>>\You step over the carcasses of the fallen raptors and proceed deeper into the jungle.<br> [[Next|deperinto]]You arrive at the ruined city a short while later. The city’s crumbling stone architecture appears to be of ancient alien origin. The shattered walls and cracked cobblestone streets are covered in esoteric etchings and long forgotten glyphs.<br> [[Do you recognize this language, BUTLER?]] [[Keep your scanner ready. I sense danger.]]BUTLER: Affirmative. This lang-lang-language belonged to a minor species called the Xylons. The Xylon species was wiped out by a solar flare six decades before they would have achieved interstellar flight.<br> [[Next|interslsrtketl]]You watch as BUTLER’s red eye lights up and scans the street ahead. The robot emits a series of beeps as it processes the results.<br> [[Next|proceslkefi]]BUTLER: As the Xylons had not yet progressed to the point of becoming a multi-planetary species, their entire race was extinguished by the solar flare. A tragic end, indeed.<br> [[Keep your scanner ready. I sense danger.]]BUTLER: Scan complete. Your analysis is correct, Meatbag. This city is filled with traps. My scanners indicate there are 13 concealed spike pits, 7 pools of corrosive acid, 9 false walls, 28 trip wires, 47 unfired poison darts, and one giant boulder large enough to crush a small space cruiser.<br> [[Next|spacerrueifse]]BUTLER: Readouts also detect life forms roaming the ruins. 18% of the life forms carry the designation PREDATOR. 2% designated APEX PREDATOR. Other readings indicate unknown life forms.<br> [[Then we should move carefully.]] [[I’m starting to think this was a bad idea.]]BUTLER points out the traps as you press on through the streets, allowing you to easily avoid setting anything off. You quickly navigate to the center of the ruined city.<br> [[Next|s09dfdf8]]BUTLER: It was your idea to come here, Meat-Meat-Meatbag. I am starting to question your logic facilities. Do you wish to abandon this city?<br> [[Yeah, let's get out of here.]] [[No, let's keep exploring.|Then we should move carefully.]]This area was once a hub of culture and civilization. Now it is only a cluster of hollow buildings overgrown with weeds and vines. You begin searching for an entrance to the main structure when suddenly you hear the wail of a terrified beast.<br> [[Next|asldkfifi]]A moment later the ground begins to shake, and in an instant the streets are filled with stampeding dinosaurs of all shapes and sizes- long necked, 3-horned, 2-legged and 4-legged, all fleeing from impending danger.<br> [[Run away]] [[Climb the vines]]You sprint through the city streets as the herd of dinosaurs rampages around you. BUTLER ignites his rocket boosters and flies above the torrent of stampeding beasts.<br> [[Next|asdfgog]]You grasp one of the vines dangling from a nearby structure and begin hauling yourself up hand-over-hand. BUTLER ignites his rocket boosters and flies above the torrent of stampeding beasts.<br> [[Next|aslifi]]SIDEQUEST ABANDONED. What do you want to do?<br> [[Travel to the Edge of the Universe with BUTLER]] [[Continue the main quest]]Just then the vine you're clinging to snaps! You plummet to the street below, somehow managing to avoid being trampled by dinosaurs as you roll into a defensive position.<br> [[Next|asdfgog]]Suddenly a pack of raptors swoops around the corner and surrounds you!<br> [[Fight]] <<set $state = 4>>\After crushing a few raptor skulls, you bellow at the remaining predators. They hiss at you in return, but they back off and then race away, eager to take down bigger prey less likely to put up a fight. The stampede continues to rage around you.<br> [[Stay where you are]] [[Flee into the city]]The stampede begins to thin out around you, but suddenly you hear an even louder rumbling sound. You spin around just in time to see a giant boulder come crashing toward you. You're going to be crushed!<br> [[Pray to Shergblatt]] [[Poop in your pants]]You sprint down a dark alleyway in an attempt to escape the stampede, but the alleyway is filled with traps! Poisoned darts and wooden spears zip past you as you race down the street.<br> [[Next|sd9gg9g]]You cut around the corner and skid to a halt at a dead end. You spin around just in time to see a giant boulder come crashing toward you. You're going to be crushed!<br> [[Pray to Shergblatt]] [[Poop in your pants]]You pray to your deity, begging for salvation or at least the chance to be reincarnated as something cool, like a cheetah or a leopard.<br> [[Next|sdf97d]]You take a gnarly dump in your pants.<br> [[Next|sdf97d]]At that moment you feel a strong arm wrap around your waist. You are scooped up and yanked out of the way just seconds before the giant boulder explodes against the wall at the end of the alleyway. You have been saved!<br> [[Next|ss442]]Your savior dumps you unceremoniously on the edge of a rooftop. You blink your eyes at the street below. It has been completely destroyed. If you had been standing there even a second later, you'd probably look like a pancake right now.<br> [[Next|s9383]]The sound of the stampede has faded, only to be replaced by the hammering of your own heartbeat in your ears. You take a deep breath to steady yourself as you look up at your savior.<br> [[Next|adfgsd7g]]You see a pair of dainty, red-skinned feet. No shoes, only a platinum ankle bracelet made of purified star steel. Your eyes follow the long legs up past the war paint, tattoos, and skimpy armor to the face of a beautiful woman with long dark hair and golden eyes.<br> [[Next|as9333]]STARWISP: Reunited at last, eh barbarian?<br> [[You saved my hide, Starwisp.]] [[Your sense of dramatic timing is greatly appreciated.]]STARWISP: It's not the first time. And I have a feeling it won't be the last. The universe keeps throwing us in each other's paths. But now isn't the time to talk. I'm on an important quest, and I could use your help.<br> [[Looks like I owe you one.]] [[What is this quest?|Looks like I owe you one.]]STARWISP: I am getting pretty good at that, aren't I? But now isn't the time to talk. I'm on an important quest, and I could use your help.<br> [[Looks like I owe you one.]] [[What is this quest?|Looks like I owe you one.]]STARWISP: I seek the Eye of Xurn. It is a legendary artifact said to contain the powers of clairvoyance. With that power, my tribe can gaze into the future and better prepare ourselves for the next Shyfter attack.<br> [[More cursed sorcery...]] [[What do you need me to do?]]STARWISP: You won't need to worry about the magical aspects of the artifact. I know how much you distrust science and sorcery. The part you can help with is more in line with your skillset.<br> [[Next|What do you need me to do?]]STARWISP: I've managed to locate the secret temple said to contain the eye. It is hidden within this city. However, the entrance has collapsed. I could use a bit of your barbarian strength to help clear away the rubble.<br> [[No problem!]] [[I'll help, but I want a look at this magic eye.]]STARWISP: Great! Follow me.<br> [[Next|asgfig]]STARWISP: Deal. Follow me.<br> [[Next|asgfig]]BUTLER: Do-do-don't forget about me!<br> [[Next|sg99]]Starwisp readies her spear, prepared for a fight, but relaxes when she sees that you trust the robot.<br> [[I thought you were a goner, BUTLER.|Starwisp, meet BUTLER.]] [[Starwisp, meet BUTLER.]]STARWISP: You keep strange company, barbarian. I never expected to see you traveling with a metal man. Most of their kind serve the Shyfters.<br> [[BUTLER and I go way back.]] [[You have nothing to fear. BUTLER is on our side.|BUTLER and I go way back.]]STARWISP: If you say so...<br> [[Next|sfddfs]]Starwisp leads you deeper into the city. You pass through a cracked stone archway which leads to a small temple marked by a single alien hieroglyph. BUTLER translates it to mean "Vision."<br> [[Next|a0ss0s0]]You begin clearing away the fallen rocks blocking the entrance when suddenly BUTLER's motion sensor begins going haywire. You spin around and see an enormous Ikkagu standing before you.<br> [[Next|asdgsg]]The Ikkagu's powerful muscles ripple under its pebbled skin. Its teeth and claws are sharp as razors. The beast looks hungry.<br> [[Keep digging! I'll hold it off!]] [[Keep that thing distracted while I clear away this rubble!]]The Ikkagu unleashes a terrifying roar and attacks!<br> [[Fight]] <<set $state = 5>>\The Ikkagu unleashes a terrifying roar as Starwisp and BUTLER spring into action. You turn back to the temple and haul the last few stones out of the way before urging Starwisp and BUTLER to get inside quickly.<br> [[Next|asfg8474]]The prehistoric beast crashes to the ground. It is dead. You turn back to the temple and haul the last few stones out of the way before urging Starwisp and BUTLER to get inside quickly. There's no telling what other horrible creatures might have been alerted to your location by the sounds of the Ikkagu.<br> [[Next|asdgasdgsg]]You find yourselves standing in a long, dark hallway. BUTLER ignites a flashlight on his chest, which illuminates the path ahead. The hallway is lined with the skeletal remains of unfortunate adventurers who once sought the legendary Eye of Xurn.<br> [[Next|adsga7]]The Ikkagu lunges at you, but everyone manages to leap inside just in time, narrowly avoiding the gnashing jaws of the Ikkagu.<br> [[Next|asdgasdgsg]]Their long-rotted corpses have been impaled on spears, pin-cushioned with arrows, or crushed by fallen bricks. Starwisp cautiously leads the way.<br> [[Next|asdkklh]]After weaving your way through a labyrinth of twisting passageways you finally arrive at a colossal vault. There is an altar in the center of the vault. The Eye of Xurn sits in the center of the altar.<br> [[Take the Eye]] [[Don't touch the Eye]]You step forward and pick up the Eye of Xurn. It is made of solid crystal. A dazzling rainbow glitters within as light dances across the faceted surface. Do you wish to see your future?<br> [[Yes|futre]] [[No|noture]]You stand where you are, wary of the strange magic emanating from the Eye. Starwisp steps forward and picks it up. The Eye is made of solid crystal. A dazzling rainbow glitters within as light dances across the faceted surface.<br> [[Next|starejir]]You gaze into the Eye of Xurn. The colors within its multifaceted surface begin to shimmer and glow. You can feel your consciousness being drawn into the brilliantly shimmering lights.<br> [[Next|dag93jjmbmbb]]Starwisp pulls out a piece of cloth and gently wraps it around the Eye. She carefully places the pouch in her satchel and then bows deeply before you.<br> [[Next|d8d76363yehdjfikf]]STARWISP: Are you sure you don't want to see your future, barbarian?<br> [[Keep that thing away from me.|noture]] [[I can't resist... I want to see my future!|futre]]STARWISP: Thank you for your help, barbarian. This artifact will serve my people well. I must return to them immediately so they can begin harnessing the power of the Eye. I hope we meet again soon.<br> [[Goodbye, Starwisp.|Safe travels.]] [[Safe travels.]]Starwisp pulls out a personal teleportation device and warps away.<br> [[Next|dgkaskghhh]]You and BUTLER are alone once again. What will you do next?<br> [[Travel to the Edge of the Universe with BUTLER|asd9g8su]] [[Continue the main quest]]Visions of the future flash across your mind. You see a small cluster of planets besieged by Shyfter warships. Battles being fought on the surface. Lots of death.<br> [[Next|adsf8g9]]You see yourself standing shoulder to shoulder with countless other barbarian warriors, battling the Shyfters in a crumbling arena. There are too many Shyfters. There seems to be no hope of victory...<br> [[Next|novictioto]]As the Shyfters close in, there is a blinding flash of light. An explosion. The Eye grows hot in your palms as the explosion grows in size, spreading outward faster and faster. You hear a scream. You don’t know if the scream is coming from within the Eye or from without. It could be Starwisp. Maybe it’s you.<br> [[Next|fajsdgisaigkkerkr]]An instant later the Eye explodes in your fist, sending shards of crystal scattering in all directions. Starwisp stares at you in horror.<br> [[What happened?]] [[I think we broke it.|What happened?]]STARWISP: That vision... it was so powerful. The Eye has been completely destroyed. This is clearly an ill omen. I fear for the future. Something terrible awaits us.<br> [[It was just a vision though, right?]] [[The images in that crystal mean nothing. We will decide our own destiny.|What do we do now?]]STARWISP: The Eye of Xurn is fabled for its accuracy of vision. The things we saw within its depths will surely come to pass, as have all the visions presented by the Eye in the past.<br> [[What do we do now?]] [[The images in that crystal mean nothing. We will decide our own destiny.|What do we do now?]]STARWISP: I must return to my people immediately to inform them of this new development. I urge you to complete your mission and return to the star cluster quickly. The Alliance is depending on you for guidance.<br> [[Next|Safe travels.]]After enduring the oppressive heat of the planet's twin suns for what feels like hours, you finally arrive at BUTLER's star pod, a tiny two-man spacecraft.<br> [[Next|asdfg98dg]]Several space pirates are gathered around the star pod, digging through the cabin and looking for parts to loot and sell. They draw their weapons as you approach.<br> [[Friends of yours, BUTLER?]] [[Clear out or I'll smash your skulls!]]BUTLER: Neg-neg-negative, Meatbag. Scanners activated. Readout complete. The emblems on their uniforms indicate these are thieves, pirates, and smugglers, members of the Black Marauder's gang.<br> [[Next|asdfglsdk]]SPACE PIRATE #2: You got a smart mouth, barbarian! Maybe we ought to teach you some respect.<br> [[Next|s8g8g8g]]SPACE PIRATE: That's right! We're the Black Marauder's boys! Now back off or we'll fry you with our blasters!<br> [[I killed the Black Marauder.]] [[Oh no! I'm quaking in my space boots!]]SPACE PIRATE #2: Hey boss! I think this barbarian is telling the truth! We should get out of here!<br> [[Next|s8g8g8g]]SPACE PIRATE #2: Hey boss! I think that barbarian is messing with us! <<if visited("Dude")>>He<<else>>She<</if>> ain't wearing any space boots!<br> [[Next|s8g8g8g]]SPACE PIRATE: Nobody messes with the Black Marauders and gets away with it! Kill that barbarian!<br> [[Next|sgdsh]]The space pirates charge forward and attack!<br> [[Fight]] <<set $state = 6>>\With the space pirates defeated, you and BUTLER enter the star pod and blast off. BUTLER enters a string of coordinates on the command console and an instant later the star pod performs a series of interstellar warp jumps. With the final jump, you warp to the Edge of the Universe.<br> [[Next|blastoff]]The star pod blinks out of subspace. You lean forward, staring out the window in awe. Nothing lives here. How could it? The planets are fractured and the stars have all burned out eons ago. The only thing left is stardust and floating space rocks.<br> [[Next|sagkdgk]]BUTLER: We-we-we have arrived.<br> [[What happened here?]] [[What is this place?]] [[How are we supposed to find a Catalyst Beacon out here?]]BUTLER: This is the Edge of the Universe, Meat-Meat-Meatbag. The Edge of Known Space. The Edge of Existence. My scanners indicate there is a Catalyst Beacon nearby.<br> [[How do you expect to find it?|How are we supposed to find a Catalyst Beacon out here?]] [[What happened here?]]BUTLER: There is a scrapyard somewhere among these floating rocks. The Zil used Catalyst Beacons to power their gargantuan starships. My sensors indicate there is a functioning Beacon nearby.<br> [[We should find it and get out of here. This place gives me the heebie-jeebies.]] [[Do your scanners show anything else?]]BUTLER: Too much power... A highly advanced civilization known as the Zil once in-in-inhabited this sector of the Universe. They were well-versed in both science and magic. But perhaps their logic systems were faulty.<br> [[Next|as9dfg7g7]]BUTLER: Terrible wars were waged here. Weapons of galactic destruction were developed and used against each other. Stars were annihilated. Planets were shattered. Nothing survived.<br> [[How are we supposed to find a Catalyst Beacon out here?]]BUTLER expertly pilots the star pod through the debris field. The pod swoops low over the surfaces of shattered planetoids and meteor chunks. Finally BUTLER locates a twisted space rock littered with miles of crushed hulls and ruined star cruisers.<br> [[Next|asdg8g8]]BUTLER: Non-organic life forms detected. Alignment: Unknown. Temperament: Unknown. Species: Unknown. No other readings available.<br> [[Let's start looking for the Catalyst Beacon.|We should find it and get out of here. This place gives me the heebie-jeebies.]] [[Keep your scanners activated. I don't trust this place.|We should find it and get out of here. This place gives me the heebie-jeebies.]]BUTLER navigates the star pod through a cluster of derelict space ships and lands amidst the steaming piles of radioactive garbage. You hop out of the tiny little ship and stretch your back.<br> [[Barbarians weren't built for space travel...]] [[See the Beacon anywhere?]]BUTLER: I ap-ap-apologize for the tight quarters. It is not often that I ferry companions to the Edge of the Universe.<br> [[See the Beacon anywhere?]]BUTLER: Negative. Scanners indicate that the Beacon is near this location, but I do not currently have a visual.<br> [[We should stick together.]] [[Let's split up. We'll cover more ground that way.]]BUTLER agrees. Danger could be lurking around any corner. Where will you start your search?<br> [[Enter the hull of a smashed battle cruiser]] [[Explore the garbage piles]]BUTLER agrees. He immediately begins digging through the wreckage. Where will you start your search?<br> [[Enter the hull of a smashed battle cruiser]] [[Explore the garbage piles]]You duck your head under the twisted metal of the wrecked starship. You haven't gone more than 50 paces when your ears pick up the sound of movement coming from deep within one of the ship's walls. You draw your $weapon, ready for anything.<br> [[Next|sdfgg77f77]]You weave your way through the mountains of twisted metal and wrecked starships. You haven't gone more than 50 paces when your ears pick up the sound of movement coming from deep within one of the trash heaps. You draw your $weapon, ready for anything.<br> [[Next|sdfgg7777]]Just then a swarm of metallic, wasp-like organisms burst out of the trash and begin zipping around your head. Your sharp barbarian eyes catch the glint of starlight reflecting off their fangs, which look like tiny razor blades. Space Garbans!<br> [[Next|garbskd]]Space Garbans can devour the hull of a Duranium Class Warship in less than a minute. They'd shred your face off in a matter of seconds if you let them. You'd better kill these things fast.<br> [[Fight]] <<set $state = 7>>\Despite their blinding speed and elusive size, the Space Garbans are no match for you. You destroy the little nuisances and continue to pick through the piles of scrap metal.<br> [[Next|sforr]]You heave a deep sigh of exhaustion and wipe the sweat from your brow. You're just about to give up searching when your eyes alight upon a large, glowing sphere encased in a metal shell.<br> [[Next|dgd5d55]]The sphere pulses with a mesmerizing light. This object radiates with power and energy. It must be the Catalyst Beacon!<br> [[Pick it up]] <<if visited("We should stick together.")>>\ [[Tell BUTLER to grab it]] <<else>>\ [[Call out to BUTLER]] <</if>>\You reach out and grab the Catalyst Beacon. A sudden, all-consuming pain washes through your body. You scream until your vocal cords burst. The radiation and heat from the Catalyst Beacon melts your hands off, and the rest of your body slowly follows. In the end, you're nothing more than a puddle of barbarian goo. YOU ARE DEAD.<br> [[Try again?|dgd5d55]]BUTLER rolls into view a moment later and examines the object. He quickly scans it an emits a happy beeping sound.<br> [[Next|fg00000]]BUTLER: Excellent work, Meatbag. This is indeed the Catalyst Beacon I have been searching for. But the shell of this Beacon appears to be unstable. It is a good thing you did not touch it.<br> [[Next|ads9g9sd]]BUTLER: Magic and star energy are seeping through the cracks. Your flesh would have melted off your body instantaneously. I will transport the device back to the star pod and make the necessary repairs.<br> [[Next|repoetit]]BUTLER extends his robo-arms and grasps the Catalyst Beacon. Just then the entire asteroid begins to tremble beneath your feet. BUTLER releases the Beacon as it begins to rise high into the air.<br> [[Next|diggfooo]]You watch with a mix of horror and awe as the mountain of wreckage and rusty metal begins to take shape. A monstrously tall humanoid figure made of starships and scrap metal rises up before you.<br> [[Next|risesed]]You crane your neck to look up at the behemoth, but its head is lost in the clouds of stardust drifting around the asteroid. The titanic figure stands over a mile high.<br> [[BUTLER... I think we should run!!!]] [[Any chance you can locate another Catalyst Beacon? I think this one is currently in use...|BUTLER... I think we should run!!!]]BUTLER: My sensory input devices must be mal-mal-malfunctioning. That is a Titan. I was programmed to believe Titans were a myth, but it appears this Titan is being powered by the Catalyst Beacon.<br> [[Can we kill it?|Then you leave us no choice but to destroy you!]] [[Can it understand us?]]Just then the Titan drops down on one knee. The impact rocks the asteroid, sending you tumbling to the ground. The mighty behemoth lowers its face down to your level. You stare up into its glowing eyes. The Titan's head was built from a series of gargantuan starships.<br> [[Next|gargagnn]]TITAN: I can understand all the languages in the universe, barbarian. I am older than time itself. What purpose brings you to the Edge of the Universe? Do you seek to disassemble me?<br> [[I would never dream of disassembling you!]] [[We come seeking a Catalyst Beacon.]]TITAN: That is good to hear. This Catalyst Beacon has powered my core for eons. I cannot part with it.<br> [[Then you leave us no choice but to destroy you!]] [[Not even for a worthy cause?]]TITAN: This Catalyst Beacon has powered my core for eons. I cannot part with it.<br> [[Then you leave us no choice but to destroy you!]] [[Not even for a worthy cause?]]TITAN: You may certainly try!<br> [[Next|titanfight]]TITAN: What cause could prove worthy to one such as me? I have observed the rise and fall of countless galactic civilizations. I have witnessed the births and deaths of an infinite number of stars. What cause could you possibly consider worthy of shutting down my entire being?<br> [[Defeating the Shyfters once and for all.]] [[When you put it that way, I guess my reasons must sound pretty stupid. Guess I have no choice but to kill you!|Then you leave us no choice but to destroy you!]]The Titan laughs. It is a deep, booming laugh. You can feel it vibrating in your bones and chest. The Titan regards you with curiosity for a moment before speaking.<br> [[Next|asfggll]]TITAN: Though I have lived for countless millennia and seen the cycle of time repeat itself again and again, the evil of the Shyfters has persisted through it all. I never dreamed it would be possible to separate the Shyfters from this universe.<br> [[Next|sdfg9ds8g8]]TITAN: But if your words are true, then you are indeed pursuing the most worthy of causes! I would gladly power down and cast my being into the darkness of eternity if I could die knowing that my actions aided in the ultimate defeat of the Shyfters.<br> [[You have my word.]] [[I changed my mind. I think I'd rather kill you! Legends will be sung about me- I will become the mythic Titan slayer!|Then you leave us no choice but to destroy you!]]The massive Titan seems to heave a great sigh of contentment, as if signaling that he is finally ready to end his watch over the universe and allow his consciousness to return to the stars. He sits down heavily and begins to power down.<br> [[Next|asfg9sd9fg9]]The Titan rises up to its full height, raises its leg, and prepares to stomp on you. You spring forward and scramble up the other leg, attacking the Titan's weak parts as you go.<br> [[Fight]] <<set $state = 8>>\The Titan is a colossal being, but you are both strong and fast. The Titan's slow movements are easily outmaneuvered, and after an epic struggle you are finally able to inflict enough damage to bring the Titan down.<br> [[Next|bringhgkd]]The ancient behemoth unleashes a roar of rage as it topples over. The mighty colossus smashes into the ground, splitting the asteroid in half. The light in the Titan's eyes fades, but the Catalyst Beacon still hums with life.<br> [[Next|7654545]]BUTLER advances and removes the Catalyst Beacon from the Titan's core.<br> [[Next|buty]]BUTLER: Your combat skills continue to impress me, Meatbag. I never expected to see a primitive sack of flesh and bones topple an all-powerful Titan. I will need to update my records on your combat prowess at a later time.<br> [[I am awesome!]] [[Make sure you mention how attractive I am as well.|I am awesome!]]BUTLER: Noted. Now we should return to the star pod. We have obtained the Catalyst Beacon and progressed one step closer to fulfilling my true purpose!<br> [[I have other business to attend to. Good luck with the Beacon.]] [[What else do you need to do?]]BUTLER rolls away. You punch in a set of coordinates on your personal teleportation device and warp away.<br> [[Next|df8g88gff]]BUTLER: The Catalyst Beacon must be properly installed in order to activate it. I do not possess the means to install it on my own. I will need to find a facility that contains the necessary equipment.<br> [[I'm on my way to the Atomic Angel's new factory. Can you find what you need there?]] [[I have other business to attend to. Good luck with the Beacon.]]BUTLER: The Atomic Angel has always built the most advanced and sophisticated factories in the universe. My analysis shows that the probability of his factory containing the necessary equipment is so high that it is almost a guarantee.<br> [[Then you'd better stick with me for a while longer.]] [[Looks like I'll need to force the Atomic Angel to help us before I rip his spine out.|Then you'd better stick with me for a while longer.]]You and BUTLER return to the star pod with the Catalyst Beacon in hand. BUTLER stores the Beacon in the star pod's overhead storage bin and punches in a new set of coordinates. A few seconds later you blast off.<br> [[Next|blastyingoff]]BUTLER quickly scans the device an emits a happy beeping sound.<br> [[Next|fg00000]]After stopping to refuel and grab a slice of pizza at a 38-hour astropump station, you make one final jump and warp into orbit around a sinister looking moon.<br> [[Next|moooon]] <<set $hp = $maxhp>>\BUTLER rolls away. You punch in a set of coordinates on your personal teleportation device and warp away.<br> [[Next|df8g88gff]]BUTLER: And I could use your help, barbarian. But your mind is made up, and my path is set. This is where we part ways. Goodbye.<br> [[Next|afg8a88]]BUTLER rolls away. You locate the warp gate and teleport away.<br> [[Next|df8g88g]]After stopping to refuel and grab a slice of pizza at a 38-hour astropump station, you make one final jump and warp into orbit around a sinister looking moon.<br> [[Next|moooon]] <<set $hp = $maxhp>>\The desolate surface of the moon is covered in hundreds of impact craters and completely devoid of water. Dry seabeds stretch out in all directions as far as the eye can see.<br> [[Next|asdfgdfgh]]<<if visited("blastyingoff")>>\ The Atomic Angel's factory glitters on the surface below in stark contrast to the drab colors of the moon's lifeless surface.<br> [[Next|withbutty]] <<else>>\ The Atomic Angel's factory glitters ahead in stark contrast to the drab colors of the moon's lifeless surface.<br> [[Next|nobut]] <</if>>\BUTLER: This entire solar system is under surveillance by the Atomic Angel's forces. You can be sure our ship is being tracked.<br> [[I have no reason to hide. I'd prefer a straight fight to sneaking around, anyway.]] [[Perhaps he hasn't had time to build a proper defense system yet?]]The alien structure is nestled within the center of a large crater. Noxious fumes and pungent gasses billow out of towering exhaust ports.<br> [[Kick down the door and storm the base!]] [[Look for a secret entrance. Bad guy bases always have a secret entrance.]]The star pod touches down a moment later. You step outside and head for the factory. BUTLER follows close at your heels, carrying the Catalyst Beacon like an overprotective mother.<br> [[Next|factin]]BUTLER: Unlikely. Radar shows large quantities of electromagnetic activity in this sector. There is surely an advanced intranet subsystem powering a variety of defense units across this moon.<br> [[It'd be nice if you could give me some good news every once in a while. The Builder should have programmed you to be a little more cheerful...]]The star pod touches down a moment later. You step outside and head for the factory. BUTLER follows close at your heels, carrying the Catalyst Beacon like an overprotective mother.<br> [[Next|factin]]The Atomic Angel's factory is nestled within the center of a large crater. Noxious fumes and pungent gasses billow out of towering exhaust ports.<br> [[Let's kick down the door and storm the base!]] [[We should look for a secret entrance. Bad guy bases always have a secret entrance.]]You charge forward with your $weapon drawn. This is sure to be an epic fight! Just then a voice calls out to you to stop.<br> [[Next|shfyttu]]You and BUTLER begin searching for a secret entrance. As you scan the horizon, you notice a slab of rock beginning to slide away from the surface in an unnatural manner.<br> [[Next|unamstj]]A heavily-treaded moon machine rumbles out of the hidden tunnel. There are several robotic creatures riding inside it. They're not Shyfters, but they certainly don't look friendly.<br> [[Stay hidden]] [[Rush inside the secret entrance before the door closes]]You remain crouched behind the rocks, watching as the moon machine bounces away. The secret door slides shut.<br> [[Next|secrettkt]]You run towards the secret entrance, but a voice calls out to you to stop.<br> [[Next|shfyttu]]Just then a glint of light catches your eye. You discover a hidden video camera wedged between the rocks. It's pointed right at you!<br> [[Smash the camera]] [[Vacate the area]]You grab a chunk of space rock and dash it against the camera, shattering the metal frame and delicate lens. The sound of electronic laughter echoes around you.<br> [[Next|shfyttu]]You begin running away, but a voice calls out to you to stop.<br> [[Next|shfyttu]]You look over your shoulder and spot a dozen Shyfters closing in! The Atomic Angel is leading them. His new metal armor shines brilliantly in the starlight, but his body looks like a shriveled prune.<br> [[You look like a space monkey's butt!]] [[I've been looking forward to this moment. Killing you once wasn't satisfying enough. Now I'm going to kill you again!]]ATOMIC ANGEL: Mock me if you want, barbarian. But it is I who will have the last laugh! Shyfters, capture the barbarian and his pet robot. I want them alive!<br> [[Next|fightersk]]ATOMIC ANGEL: You are mistaken, barbarian. But it is I who will have the last laugh! Shyfters, capture the barbarian and his pet robot. I want them alive!<br> [[Next|fightersk]]The Shyfters morph into fighter jets, tigers, dinosaurs, and robo-sharks. You drop into a fighting stance as they attack!<br> [[Fight]] <<set $state = 9>>\Despite being outnumbered 12 to 1, you are able to dispatch the Shyfters easily. Apparently this new batch of Shyfters isn't as effective as the Atomic Angel's previous creations.<br> [[Next|78f89]]You prepare yourself for a face-off with the Atomic Angel.<br> [[Ready for a beatdown, tough guy?|Is that the best you got? Pathetic!]] [[Is that the best you got? Pathetic!]]ATOMIC ANGEL: No. I will admit I hoped my new batch of Shyfters would have surpassed the previous ones in terms of combat effectiveness, but alas! It would appear as though I need to tweak the formula a little more.<br> [[Next|asdgog9]]ATOMIC ANGEL: Regardless, I fully expected you to defeat them. In fact, I was counting on it. I would have been sorely disappointed had they managed to kill you. That would have deprived me of so much fun!<br> [[Enough chit-chat! Let's fight!]] [[I hope you fight better than you talk!|Enough chit-chat! Let's fight!]]ATOMIC ANGEL: Not so fast. Your kung fu skills are legendary. I'd be killed in an instant were I to fight you. That's why I'm not going to fight. Instead, I'm going to use this.<br> [[Next|aksfggsddd]]The Atomic Angel pulls out a bulky electronic device. It looks like a controller of some kind. He presses a button, but there isn't any obvious effect.<br> [[No more games! Time to die, bub!]] [[Another failed creation of yours? How cute.|No more games! Time to die, bub!]]You charge forward and try to punch the Atomic Angel, but your arm won't seem to obey. You take a deep breath and attempt to kick his head off, but you fall over instead.<br> [[Next|s78g7g88g]]A wave of disorientation washes over you. Suddenly your muscles feel tired and weak, almost like you've eaten WAY too much pizza and stopped practicing kung fu for decades.<br> [[What... did you do to me?]] [[What trickery is this?|What... did you do to me?]]ATOMIC ANGEL: Ha! My newest invention is working exactly as intended. You are no longer a threat to me, barbarian! With this little device, I have taken away your kung fu - permanently!<br> [[What!? That's impossible!]] [[You treacherous snake! I... I'll kill you!|What!? That's impossible!]]You attempt to use kung fu, but you can't even do a basic horse stance without falling over. What the Atomic Angel said is true... you've lost your kung fu!<br> [[Next|asig9g]]Several Shyfters materialize behind the Atomic Angel, ready to do his bidding.<br> [[Next|as9g0g00]]<<if visited("angelfiddddght")>>\ ATOMIC ANGEL: Detain the barbarian! The deepest cell in the dungeon will do. I will deal with that little nuisance later.<br> [[You won't get away with this!|dfsafsdfas]] [[Unhand me you dirty dogs!|dfsafsdfas]] <<else>>\ ATOMIC ANGEL: Detain the barbarian! The deepest cell in the dungeon will do. I will deal with that little nuisance later. And bring the annoying robot with you!<br> [[You won't get away with this!]] [[Don't touch BUTLER!|You won't get away with this!]] <</if>>\ATOMIC ANGEL: Silence! Aside from that obnoxious stuttering, the robot appears to be in excellent condition. We can harvest it for parts. Now get moving!<br> [[Next|asigg9g88]]The Shyfters haul you and BUTLER away. BUTLER stammers objections, but it is no use. The Shyfters toss you in the deepest dungeon of their fortress and take BUTLER to the main factory area. They seem to be especially interested in the Catalyst Beacon he's carrying...<br> [[Next|act3]]If the Shyfters disassemble BUTLER and steal the Catalyst Beacon, all hope of merging the timelines is lost. You sit down on the floor of the dungeon and begin to wallow in despair.<br> [[Next|as9g9g9g9g]]You are jolted to your senses by the sound of a loud, metallic clang. You lift your weary head and glare at the Shyfter standing before you.<br> [[Say nothing]] [[Insult him]]After stopping to grab a slice of pizza at a 38-hour astropump station, you make one final jump and warp to a sinister looking moon.<br> [[Next|moooon]] <<set $hp = $maxhp>>\Just then a swarm of metallic, wasp-like organisms burst out of the wall and begin zipping around your head. Your sharp barbarian eyes catch the glint of starlight reflecting off their fangs, which look like tiny razor blades. Space Garbans!<br> [[Next|garbskd]]TITAN: The Beacon is yours, barbarian. I wish you well on your quest. The entire universe is counting on you...<br> [[Next|dfg899s]]The light fades out of the Titan's eyes and the behemoth falls silent. Only the Catalyst Beacon glitters within.<br> [[BUTLER, grab the Beacon.]] [[It's all yours, Tin Man. Our job here is done.|BUTLER, grab the Beacon.]]BUTLER advances and removes the Catalyst Beacon from the Titan's core.<br> [[Next|butdy]]BUTLER: Your negotiation skills impress me, Meatbag. I never expected to see a primitive sack of flesh and bones convince an all-powerful Titan to power down and terminate itself. I will need to update my records on your eloquence at a later time.<br> [[I am awesome!]] [[Make sure you mention how attractive I am as well.|I am awesome!]]BURNSCAR: You must be the barbarian I've heard so much about. I don't understand all the fuss. You don't look so tough.<br> [[Why don't you let me out of this cage and I'll show you how tough I am!]] [[If you have something to say, say it.]]You unleash a string of barbaric curses and oaths, saying some very unkind things about the Shyfter's mother. The Shyfter does not look impressed.<br> [[Next|Say nothing]]BURNSCAR: Ha! Without your kung fu, you are nothing. If we fought now I'd snap your neck like a rotten twig. Where's the challenge in that?<br> [[Get to the point.|If you have something to say, say it.]]BURNSCAR: So impatient! Have you no sense of decorum, you savage brute? No? Very well, we'll do it your way. I've come here to set you free.<br> [[Is this some sort of trick?]] [[You're the Atomic Angel's pawn. Why would you betray your master?]]BURNSCAR: I assure you it is no trick. I restored the Angel's life so I could extract the knowledge he's gathered. I've learned his greatest secrets, but now his power has once again eclipsed mine.<br> [[Next|as98g9]]BURNSCAR: I am nobody's pawn! The Atomic Angel would be nothing without me- NOTHING! I restored the Angel's life so I could extract the knowledge he's gathered. I've learned his greatest secrets, but now his power has once again eclipsed mine.<br> [[Next|as98g9]]BURNSCAR: The Atomic Angel has proven himself to be a crafty foe. That is why I am going to release you: so you can kill him.<br> [[Why not kill him yourself?]] [[I can't kill him without my kung fu.]]BURNSCAR: The magic I used to restore his life still emanates within his body. That same magic is preventing me from destroying him again now that I have gained what I sought. Kill the Atomic Angel and freedom is yours. Deal?<br> [[What makes you think I won't kill you after I've finished with him?]] [[If you open this cage, I could just run away from this place.]]BURNSCAR: The Atomic Angel has your kung fu sealed away in his innermost chamber. The chamber is located on the top floor of this facility.<br> [[Next|mmvmvmvmmv]]BURNSCAR: I'll be far away from this place by the time you reach the Angel. I have other business to attend to. Besides, I have nothing to fear from you. You're a pathetic fleshling.<br> [[Set me free and I'll destroy this entire factory!]] [[Slaying the Atomic Angel is my choice. I'm not doing this for you.|Set me free and I'll destroy this entire factory!]]BURNSCAR: You could do that, but I think our goals are aligned in this. Did you not come here to kill the Atomic Angel yourself? Would you abandon your quest simply to thwart my desires?<br> [[Set me free and I'll destroy this entire factory!]] [[Slaying the Atomic Angel is my choice. I'm not doing this for you.|Set me free and I'll destroy this entire factory!]]BURNSCAR: Splendid! Now listen closely, you pea-brained buffoon: the Atomic Angel has your kung fu sealed away in his innermost chamber. The chamber is located on the top floor of this facility.<br> [[Next|mmvmvmvmmv]]BURNSCAR: Once you've retrieved your kung fu, head to the main factory area. You'll find the Atomic Angel tinkering with his machines there.<br> [[Where is BUTLER?]]Burnscar unseals the door to your cell before shapeshifting into a bird and flying away.<br> [[Next|fdlgsl]]Your cage is now open. You are free to do as you wish, but time is running out. Will you search for your kung fu so that you can kick the Atomic Angel's butt, or will you try to save BUTLER and prevent the Shyfters from stealing the Catalyst Beacon?<br> [[Find your kung fu]] [[Rescue BUTLER]]BURNSCAR: The annoying robot? He's in the factory. The Atomic Angel has scheduled him to be disassembled and harvested for parts. In fact, that process should be starting any minute now. But you don't need to worry about that. First, find your kung fu! Then, kill the Atomic Angel.<br> [[Next|sdf9gos]]BURNSCAR: Oh, and if I ever see your ugly face again, I won't hesitate to crush it beneath my fist. Farewell!<br> [[Next|asdfgklsd]]You exit the prison cell and head for a nearby turbolift. As soon as you step onto the lift it whisks you up to the top level of the fortress.<br> [[Next|asgghh]]You exit the prison cell and head for a nearby turbolift. As soon as you step onto the lift it whisks you up to the main factory area of the fortress. The heavy metal doors are sealed shut.<br> [[Knock on the door]] [[Look for a way to open it]]You charge forward with your $weapon drawn. This is sure to be an epic fight! Just then a voice calls out to you to stop.<br> [[Next|shfyttdu]]You begin searching for a secret entrance. As you scan the horizon, you notice a slab of rock beginning to slide away from the surface in an unnatural manner.<br> [[Next|unamffstj]]You leap off the turbolift and race down a polished chrome corridor. You skid to a halt outside a pair of steel doors. This must be the place... you can feel the power of your kung fu radiating from behind that door.<br> [[Knock on the door]] [[Look for a way to open it]]You start banging on the door, causing a huge ruckus. A moment later the doors slide open and you are greeted by the Atomic Angel himself.<br> <<if visited("Rescue BUTLER")>>\ [[Where's BUTLER?|Out of the way, bozo!]] <<else>>\ [[I came to get my kung fu back.|Out of the way, bozo!]] <</if>>\ [[Out of the way, bozo!]]You discover a control panel near the doors. You press all the buttons at once. A moment later the doors slide open and you are greeted by the Atomic Angel himself.<br> <<if visited("Rescue BUTLER")>>\ [[Where's BUTLER?|Out of the way, bozo!]] <<else>>\ [[I came to get my kung fu back.|Out of the way, bozo!]] <</if>>\ [[Out of the way, bozo!]]ATOMIC ANGEL: I don't know how you got out of your cell, but your timing is impeccable. I've got something special planned for you. In the meantime, my Shyfters are in the process of disassembling your robotic friend. You should come and watch.<br> [[I'm not going anywhere with you!]] [[Leave BUTLER alone!|I'm not going anywhere with you!]]The Atomic Angel claps his hands and two giant Shyfters appear behind you. They each grab one of your arms and drag you away. Without your kung fu, you are unable to resist.<br> [[Next|sdfkgdo]]The Shyfters drag you into the factory. The chamber is filled with test tubes and conveyor belts. Everything is in motion.<br> [[Examine the test tubes]] [[Struggle to break free]]You watch in horror as one of the fleshy creatures being incubated in the test tubes is removed and placed on one of the conveyor belts, at which point metallic appendages are grafted onto its body.<br> [[Next|sgg88]]You struggle against the Shyfters, but it is useless. They shove you onto a metal rack and strap you in by your arms, legs, waist, and forehead. You scan the area with your eyes and spot BUTLER nearby. He is being disassembled by a machine, piece by piece.<br> [[How you doing over there, BUTLER?]] [[I'm going to burn this factory to the ground!]]The abomination is then rolled into a smoky chamber and zapped with thousands of volts of electricity. The creature emerges from the other side as a full-fledged Shyfter. The process repeats itself with the subject in the next test tube.<br> [[Next|sd9f8gs]]Your gaze is ripped away from the diabolical assembly line as you are thrust onto a metal rack and strapped in by your arms, legs, waist, and forehead. You scan the area with your eyes and spot BUTLER nearby. He is being disassembled by a machine, piece by piece.<br> [[How you doing over there, BUTLER?]] [[I'm going to burn this factory to the ground!]]BUTLER: Meat-Meat-Meatbag? Is that you? My parts are non-non-functioning... System failure. Failure. Failure. Powering... pow-pow-powering down...<br> [[Next|a9sg9gg]]BUTLER's glowing red eye fades out as the machine removes one of his more critical components. You spot the Catalyst Beacon on a rack nearby. All hope of merging the timelines is surely lost!<br> [[Next|g7gf6]]BUTLER's glowing red eye fades out as the machine removes one of his more critical components. You spot the Catalyst Beacon on a rack nearby. All hope of merging the timelines is surely lost!<br> [[Next|g7gf6]]ATOMIC ANGEL: Don't look so glum, barbarian! You're about to be given a great honor: I'm going to make you my personal slave! I'm going to replace your brain with a computer chip. You will obey every command I give with a smile on your face. How does that sound?<br> [[Curse him with the wrath of your ancestors]] [[Grit your teeth in silence]]The Atomic Angel ignores your oaths as he begins moving equipment into place. He puts a metal bowl-shaped helmet over your head and flips a switch. The room is filled with the flash and crackle of electricity as the brain-wiping process commences. Your mind goes totally blank, but only for an instant. You open your eyes and see the Atomic Angel staring down at you in disgust.<br> [[Next|asdfgs9]]The Atomic Angel begins moving equipment into place. He puts a metal bowl-shaped helmet over your head and flips a switch. The room is filled with the flash and crackle of electricity as the brain-wiping process commences. Your mind goes totally blank, but only for an instant. You open your eyes and see the Atomic Angel staring down at you in disgust.<br> [[Next|asdfgs9]]ATOMIC ANGEL: What do you mean it isn't working? Crank up the voltage! I want this barbarian as my slave! Work, you blasted thing, work!<br> [[Laugh in his face]] [[Meditate]]The Atomic Angel is enraged by your laughing. He switches off the machine and brings his face close to yours.<br> [[Next|as98g89]]Your mind goes blank and the secrets of the universe are revealed to you.<br> [[Next|s8fg9sgd9]]ATOMIC ANGEL: You pea-brained idiot! Your brain is far too primitive for this procedure. Laugh if you will, barbarian, but you've only been saved by your own stupidity! Now I'll simply have to kill you.<br> [[I have a little surprise for you, Angel.]] [[That procedure isn't the only thing that failed to work!|I have a little surprise for you, Angel.]]With the strength of 10 elephants, you rip your way out of the bonds holding your arms and grasp the Atomic Angel by the neck with an iron grip. His eyes bulge in surprise and terror.<br> [[Next|aisugug]]ATOMIC ANGEL: B-but how? How is this possible? I took away your kung fu!<br> [[I guess my primitive brain is good for something after all. My mind is empty. It is a cup waiting to be filled. You can never take my kung fu away, because I am one with the universe.]]You hurl the Atomic Angel away. He smashes through a series of test tubes and lies in a crumpled heap. A dozen Shyfters immediately surround you. You break free of the rest of your bonds and prepare for a fight.<br> [[Fight]] <<set $state = 11>>\The Atomic Angel pulls out a large sword and prepares for a final showdown.<br> [[Next|ds8fgdg]]ATOMIC ANGEL: This fight will be different than last time. I won't be killed by you again.<br> [[Bring it on, chump!]] [[I'm going to crush your head like a grape!|Bring it on, chump!]]The Atomic Angel unleashes a savage roar and attacks!<br> [[Fight]] <<set $state = 10>>\The Atomic Angel collapses to the ground in a heap. He glares up at you with disgust.<br> [[Next|9adf88sg]]ATOMIC ANGEL: You may have won this time, barbarian. But you will never be rid of me! I will rise again, and when I do I'll see to it that you are erased from existence... permanently!<br> [[Good luck with that.]] [[I'll give you a beatdown in any dimension or timeline you choose, you Atmoic ding-dong.|Good luck with that.]]You raise your foot and stomp on the Atomic Angel's head. Blood and slime splatter all over the floor. Victory is yours once again.<br> [[Next|as98dfgsu]]You look out the window just in time to see Burnscar's ship zoom away from the fortress and warp into subspace. The Atomic Angel may be dead, but his pawn is still out there. Could it be possible that the Angel's Pawn has managed to gain even more power than the Atomic Angel himself?<br> [[Next|adf8gs8]]You turn your attention to the pile of parts that used to be BUTLER. There are two buttons on the machine: "Rebuild" and "Destroy." Currently, the "Destroy" button is flashing.<br> [[Press the "Rebuild" button]]ATOMIC ANGEL: You pea-brained idiot! Your brain is far too primitive for this procedure. There's nothing in there! It's empty! You fool! Don't look so smug. You've only been saved by your own stupidity! Now I'll simply have to kill you.<br> [[I have a little surprise for you, Angel.]] [[That procedure isn't the only thing that failed to work!|I have a little surprise for you, Angel.]]You look over your shoulder and spot a dozen Shyfters closing in! The Atomic Angel is leading them. His new metal armor shines brilliantly in the starlight, but his body looks like a shriveled prune.<br> [[You look like a space monkey's butt!|sdf8gs98]] [[I've been looking forward to this moment. Killing you once wasn't satisfying enough. Now I'm going to kill you again!|as84hu]]ATOMIC ANGEL: Mock me if you want, barbarian. But it is I who will have the last laugh! Shyfters, capture the barbarian. I want this one alive!<br> [[Next|fighteddrsk]]ATOMIC ANGEL: You are mistaken, barbarian. But it is I who will have the last laugh! Shyfters, capture the barbarian. I want this one alive!<br> [[Next|fighteddrsk]]A heavily-treaded moon machine rumbles out of the hidden tunnel. There are several robotic creatures riding inside it. They're not Shyfters, but they certainly don't look friendly.<br> [[Stay hidden|asdf98gs]] [[Rush inside the secret entrance before the door closes|sdf98gdf8u]]You remain crouched behind the rocks, watching as the moon machine bounces away. The secret door slides shut.<br> [[Next|secrettkddt]]You run towards the secret entrance, but a voice calls out to you to stop.<br> [[Next|shfyttdu]]Just then a glint of light catches your eye. You discover a hidden video camera wedged between the rocks. It's pointed right at you!<br> [[Smash the camera|8asg8g8]] [[Vacate the area|fsd98ufd8g]]You grab a chunk of space rock and dash it against the camera, shattering the metal frame and delicate lens. The sound of electronic laughter echoes around you.<br> [[Next|shfyttdu]]You begin running away, but a voice calls out to you to stop.<br> [[Next|shfyttdu]]The Shyfters morph into fighter jets, tigers, dinosaurs, and robo-sharks. You drop into a fighting stance as they attack!<br> [[Fight]] <<set $state = 14>>\Despite being outnumbered 12 to 1, you are able to dispatch the Shyfters easily. Apparently this new batch of Shyfters isn't as effective as the Atomic Angel's previous creations.<br> [[Next|78f89]]Just then BUTLER appears over the ridge. He is carrying a shiny metal object in his arms.<br> [[Next|asgf8aa]]BUTLER: Don't worry, Meat-Meat-Meatbag! I'm coming to save you!<br> [[Next|as98gu]]The Shyfters easily detain BUTLER and take the object away from him. BUTLER looks dejected.<br> [[Next|asgsfd]]ATOMIC ANGEL: Stupid robot. Shyfters, escort this thing to the factory. Aside from that obnoxious stuttering, the robot appears to be in excellent condition. We can harvest it for parts. Now get moving!<br> [[Next|asigg9g88]]The machine hums to life and begins assembling the parts back into a completed robot. When the final piece of metal is attached, BUTLER's single red eye begins to glow again.<br> [[Next|a9fsd88fg]]BUTLER: Sys-sys-system processing. Reboot proceedure commencing... Reboot complete. All systems active. I am whole once again! Thank you for saving me, Meatbag.<br> [[You're welcome.]] [[Don't get all mushy on me, BUTLER.]]BUTLER: Before I was disassembled, the Shyfters interfaced my memory with the system core of this facility. Unfortunately, there is no device in this structure that will allow me to properly install the Catalyst Beacon within my core.<br> [[What will you do now?]] [[We can't catch a break, can we?]]BUTLER: Mushy levels decreased to acceptable minimum. NEW INFORMATION: Before I was disassembled, the Shyfters interfaced my memory with the system core of this facility. Unfortunately, there is no device in this structure that will allow me to properly install the Catalyst Beacon within my core.<br> [[What will you do now?]] [[We can't catch a break, can we?]]BUTLER: The new plan is... the old plan. I will seek out the Builder. Once I locate him, I will request that he install the Catalyst Beacon within my core so that I may fulfill my destiny.<br> [[Are you sure merging the timelines is a good idea?]] [[Good luck, BUTLER.]]BUTLER: Luck is not always on our side. But never fear! My path is still set: I will seek out the Builder. Once I locate him, I will request that he install the Catalyst Beacon within my core so that I may fulfill my destiny.<br> [[Are you sure merging the timelines is a good idea?]] [[Good luck, BUTLER.]]BUTLER: I have already presented you with all relevant data regarding my true purpose. My path is set. Nothing but peer-reviewed contrary data will deter me from fulfilling my purpose.<br> [[Then I guess this is goodbye.]] [[Very well. I have my own purpose to fulfill on the other side of the galaxy.]]BUTLER: What will you do next, Meatbag?<br> [[I'm going to kick back and eat an entire box of pizza!|There's a Shyfter called Burnscar waiting for me. I'm going to kick his butt!]] [[There's a Shyfter called Burnscar waiting for me. I'm going to kick his butt!]]BUTLER: What will you do next, Meatbag?<br> [[I'm going to kick back and eat an entire box of pizza!|There's a Shyfter called Burnscar waiting for me. I'm going to kick his butt!]] [[There's a Shyfter called Burnscar waiting for me. I'm going to kick his butt!]]BUTLER: Oh? What purpose is that, Meatbag?<br> [[I'm going to kick back and eat an entire box of pizza!|There's a Shyfter called Burnscar waiting for me. I'm going to kick his butt!]] [[There's a Shyfter called Burnscar waiting for me. I'm going to kick his butt!]]BUTLER: Then our paths must temporarily diverge. Best of luck on your quest, Meatbag. I hope we meet again before the Singularity Event. It would be a shame if I never saw you again. I have come to consider you as one of my closest friends.<br> [[I'm sure we'll meet again. There's no way kungfuspacebarbarian would leave us hanging without proper closure!]] [[You're my best friend, BUTLER.]]BUTLER wipes an oil-drop tear away from his robotic eye. He waves farewell, punches in a series of coordinates on his chest, and warps away. You are left alone in the Shyfter factory.<br> [[Blow it up with explosives]] [[Douse everything in gasoline and set it on fire]]BUTLER wipes an oil-drop tear away from his robotic eye. He waves farewell, punches in a series of coordinates on his chest, and warps away. You are left alone in the Shyfter factory.<br> [[Blow it up with explosives]] [[Douse everything in gasoline and set it on fire]]You grab some of the dead Shyfters and begin stacking their gas tanks all over the factory. Once you're finished, you begin rummaging through a nearby desk. You find a big fat cigar, probably one the Atomic Angel was saving for a special occasion. You light the cigar and take a deep puff. Disgusting.<br> [[Next|asg8u89sg]]You grab some of the dead Shyfters and begin emptying their gas tanks all over the factory. Once you're finished, you begin rummaging through a nearby desk. You find a big fat cigar, probably one the Atomic Angel was saving for a special occasion. You light the cigar and take a deep puff. Disgusting.<br> [[Next|asg8u89sddg]]You toss the cigar over your shoulder as you exit the building. The cigar smolders on the ground for a moment, then the embers catch the fuse you set leading to the Shyfter bodies. You walk away in slow motion as the factory erupts into a series of explosions behind you.<br> [[Next|as98dfgu8]]The Atomic Angel is dead again, but a new threat is now looming on the horizon: Burnscar, a Shyfter with the ability to restore life to a god. Can he be defeated? Will BUTLER find a way to install the Catalyst Beacon? Can the timelines ever truly be merged for good? Is there any hope of defeating the Shyfters once and for all?<br> [[Next|as9fg9fdgi]]Those questions race through your mind as you warp away from the dark moon. But they're problems for another time... and another grand adventure!<br> [[TO BE CONTINUED!]]<div style="text-align: center;">\ Congratulations! You have reached the end of <b>Angel's Pawn</b>.<br> The Shyfters will return in <b>FORTRESS OF THE ROOK</b> </div>\You toss the cigar over your shoulder as you exit the building. The cigar smolders on the ground for a moment, then the embers ignite the gasoline. The entire building bursts into flame. You walk away in slow motion as the factory erupts into a series of explosions behind you.<br> [[Next|as98dfgu8]]BUTLER leads you out of the ruined city once more. You begin your trek across the planet, venturing through the Brakken Wastes. The Wastes are a twisting maze of canyons and trenches hemmed in by bubbling pits of noxious black tar.<br> [[Next|tarrr]]<<if $header == 1>>\ <div class="myDiv">\ <span class='no'>\ <div style="text-align: center;">\ <<link "Back">><<run Engine.backward()>><</link>> | <<link "Save">><<script>>UI.saves()<</script>><</link>> | [[Restart][state.restart()]] </div>\ </span>\ </div> <</if>>\