<<if $pcool lte 0>>Available: [[The Peacock Walk|strut][$pcool=2]]<<else>>On Cooldown: The Peacock Walk<<endif>>
<<if $lcool lte 0 and $diveskill is "go">>Available: [[20,000 Leagues|dive][$lcool=5]]<<else if $lcool gt 0 and $diveskill is "go">>On Cooldown: 20,000 Leagues<<else>>Locked: 20,000 Leagues [requires training]<<endif>>
Your future benevolence as pool sovereign will surely justify this little indiscretion.\n\n[[It's just a few bucks|poolside]]
<<set $mostrecent to "proposition">>\s\nA beautiful stranger with hooves for feet propositions you.\n\n<span class = "shakeit">[[Get it on|gaf]]</span>\n[[Decline|IDGAF]]
<<print either("All quiet...for now.", "You bide your time.", "You twiddle your thumbs. It requires a surprising amount of concentration!", "Patience, Iago.")>>\n\n[[Back|poolside]]
She challenges you to a splash fight!\n\n[[En garde|splash]]\n[[Not now|Rivals]]
Zach is an hair-flippy 8th-grader. He and his friends control the diving board.\n\n[[Interact|talkZ]]\n[[Back|Rivals]]
<<if visited() is 1>>Your new best pal teaches you some breath-holding techniques.\n\n@@color:gold;text-shadow: 0px 0 15px #fff;NEW SKILL UNLOCKED@@\n\n[[Pretty cool of you, Mort|poolside][$diveskill="go"]]<<else>>You challenge your pal Mort to a friendly race. He beats you, but doesn't rub it in.\n\n[[(Which is what you would have done)|Allies]]<<endif>>
<<if $attack is 1>><<attack1>><<else if $attack is 2>><<attack2>><<else if $attack is 3>><<attack3>><<else if $attack gt 3>><<display either("attack1","attack2","attack3")>><<endif>>
<<if $mostrecent is "god">>She seems nice enough, but you're not about that.<<else if $mostrecent is "pregnant">>That baby'll figure its own way out. Survival of the fittest, yo!<<else if $mostrecent is "drowning">>Rashid saves the dude without your help. See? Fine.<<else if $mostrecent is "proposition">>You literally do not give a fuck.<<else if $mostrecent is "icecream">>A difficult sacrifice to make, but so it goes.<<else if $mostrecent is "pee">>Your legs sting like you've kicked a jellyfish. Worth it!<<else if $mostrecent is "volleyball">>It's hard to watch those amatuers play, but you suck it up.<<endif>>\n\n<<if $fucks is 1>>[[Another fuck bites the dust|nofucks][$fucks-=1]]<<else>>[[Another fuck bites the dust|poolside][$fucks-=1]]<<endif>>
"Back off," Zach says. "The diving board is my turf." His stomach burbles hungrily. "What? I didn't hear anything."\n\n<<if $pizza is 1>>[[Give him the pizza|Give pizza][$pizza-=1,$zach="friend"]]<<else>>@@color: grey;???@@<<endif>>\n<<if $rank gt 20>>[[Intimidate|IntimidateZ][$zach="neutral",$cannonballskill="go"]]<<else>>@@color: grey;Intimidate@@<<endif>>\n[[Back|Rivals]]
You bob up and down on your sweet float and sip your drink. How do you feel?\n\n<span class = "hvr-pulse">[[Awesome|awesome]]</span>\n<span class = "hvr-shrink">[[Lonely|lonely]]</span>
<<if visited() is 1>>At your command, Rashid blows his whistle and clears out the pool. You swim alone for five minutes while everyone grumbles.\n\n[[You savor their jealousy|poolside][$rank+=3]]<<else>>You nod to your buddy Rashid. He nods back.\n\n[[Ten-four|Allies]]<<endif>>
"It's gonna be a long day," Rashid says. "I could use something to get me through the day. If you know what I mean."\n\n<<if $weed is 1>>[[Give him the weed|Give weed][$weed-=1,$rashid="friend"]]<<else>>@@color: grey;???@@<<endif>>\n<<if $rank gt 20>>[[Intimidate|IntimidateR][$rashid="neutral"]]<<else>>@@color: grey;Intimidate@@<<endif>>\n[[Back|Rivals]]
You make a hero pose and blind them with your yogic prowess.\n\n[[Sunglasses are on me|poolside]]
That's disappointing to hear from such a promising talent. Pool domination is not for the sentimental. Perhaps you're in the wrong line of play?\n\n[[No way]]\n[[Perhaps]]
You poke around and find a copy of //Crime and Punishment// in one of the lockers.\n\n[[Steal it|book][$book+=1,$fucks-=1,$novel="stolen"]]\n[[Leave it|Explore]]
You strut your stuff around the poolside. Heads turn.\n\n[[There's a new sheriff in town|poolside][$rank+=1]]
<<if $rank lt 5>>a nobody<<else if $rank gte 5 and $rank lt 10>>a tryhard<<else if $rank gte 10 and $rank lt 15>>an upstart<<else if $rank gte 15 and $rank lt 20>>the new kid on the block<<else if $rank gte 20 and $rank lt 25>>a rising star<<else if $rank gte 25 and $rank lt 30>>@@color:#ac6039;text-shadow: 0px 0 15px #bfbfbf;a champion@@<<else if $rank gte 30 and $rank lt 35>>@@color:#e5f8ff;text-shadow: 0px 0 15px #bfbfbf;a pool mogul@@<<else if $rank gte 35>>@@color:gold;text-shadow: 0px 0 15px #bfbfbf;their god@@<<endif>>
You collapse in a hail of water droplets. Joo-hee giggles and claps. She //thinks// she's won...\n\n@@color:#00ff15;text-shadow: 0px 0 15px #fff;JOO-HEE IS NOW YOUR ALLY@@\n\n<span class = "hvr-grow">[[Boosh|poolside][$rivals-=1,$allies+=1]]</span>
<<set $mostrecent to "pregnant">>\s\nA pregnant woman goes into labor!\n\n[[Deliver the baby|gaf]]\n<span class = "shakeit">[[NOPE DON'T CARE|IDGAF]]</span>
<<if $cash is "stolen">>You poke around and find only discarded undies.\n\n[[Nasty|Explore]]<<else>><<if $money is 0 and $weed is 0 and $pizza is 0>>You poke around and find some money in a locker.\n\n[[Take it|money][$money+=1, $cash="stolen"]]\n[[Leave it|Explore]]<<else>>You poke around and find only discarded undies.\n\n[[Nasty|Explore]]<<endif>><<endif>>
You signal to Rashid. He blows his whistle and the plebs clear out. Your sovereignty is uncontested.\n\n[[This pool is dominated|sovereign]]
I'm sure you are. Do remember that reputations are built on longevity, not first impressions. Your journey has only just begun.\n\n<span class = "hvr-bob">[[Enjoy your swim|Start]]</span>
"I think this is the beginning of a beautiful and strategic friendship," Rashid says. "Got a light?"\n\n@@color:#00ff15;text-shadow: 0px 0 15px #fff;RASHID IS NOW YOUR ALLY@@\n\n<span class = "hvr-grow">[[Boosh|poolside][$rivals-=1,$allies+=1]]</span>
They exclusively sell pizza here, and the pizza is exclusively cheese. You have <<if $money is 1>>some<<else>>no<<endif>> money.\n\n<<if $money is 1>>[[Buy pizza|pizza][$pizza+=1,$money-=1]]<<else>>@@color: grey;text-decoration: line-through;Buy pizza@@<<endif>>\n[[Back|Explore]]
You crack your knuckles, ready to deal with him Chicago-style, but he surrenders before you've even started. Life's too short for poolside beefs, he says. He'll go peacefully.\n\n[[Way to take the high road|poolside][$rivals-=1,$fucks-=1]]
You leap from the diving board and drop like a rock into the pool.\n\n[[A couple of kids go flying|poolside][$rank+=2]]
You unleash a liquid smackdown that sends her running tearfully to her parents. The 8th-grade boys find this hilarious.\n\n<<if $zach is "friend">>[[I'm not here to make friends|poolside][$rivals-=1,$fucks-=1]]<<else>>@@color:#00ff15;text-shadow: 0px 0 15px #fff;ZACH IS NOW YOUR ALLY@@\n\n[[She'll thank me someday|poolside][$rivals-=2,$allies+=1,$fucks-=1,$zach="friend"]]<<endif>>
Mort, age 83, is the fastest swimmer here. He and another old guy take turns doing laps.\n\n[[Interact|talkM]]\n[[Back|Rivals]]
1. <<if $beatrice is "enemy">>[[Beatrice]]<<else>>@@color: grey;text-decoration: line-through;Beatrice@@<<endif>>\n2. <<if $rashid is "enemy">>[[Rashid]]<<else>>@@color: grey;text-decoration: line-through;Rashid@@<<endif>>\n3. <<if $joohee is "enemy">>[[Joo-hee]]<<else>>@@color: grey;text-decoration: line-through;Joo-hee@@<<endif>>\n4. <<if $mort is "enemy">>[[Mort]]<<else>>@@color: grey;text-decoration: line-through;Mort@@<<endif>>\n5. <<if $zach is "enemy">>[[Zach]]<<else>>@@color: grey;text-decoration: line-through;Zach@@<<endif>>\n\n[[Back|poolside]]
1. <<if $money is 1>>[[Money]]<<else>>Empty<<endif>>\n2. <<if $book is 1>>[[Book]]<<else>>Empty<<endif>>\n3. <<if $weed is 1>>[[Weed]]<<else>>Empty<<endif>>\n4. <<if $pizza is 1>>[[Pizza]]<<else>>Empty<<endif>>\n\n[[Back|poolside]]
You punt Zach into the pool like a football. His friends make you their new king.\n\n@@color:gold;text-shadow: 0px 0 15px #fff;NEW SKILL UNLOCKED@@\n\n[[Long live me|poolside][$rivals-=1,$fucks-=1]]
You rattle his chair like apples might fall out of it. He asks what gives and begs you to stop. You make him promise that he won't get in your way.\n\n[[I'm trying to conquer a pool here|poolside][$rivals-=1,$fucks-=1]]
Insurgents challenge you to a yoga throwdown.\n\n[[A yo-down, eh?|yodown][$rank+=4, $threat="neutral"]]
<<set $mostrecent to "god">>\s\nGod appears. She offers you a mission, for which you will receive a get-out-of-Hell-free card.\n\n[[I'm gonna need that|gaf]]\n<span class = "shakeit">[[You know what I don't give?|IDGAF]]</span>
The plebs come at you with pool noodles!\n\n[[Make pasta salad|salad][$rank+=4, $threat="neutral"]]
You go head first down the water slide. People are like //woooaah// and take pictures.\n\n[[I am a ROCK STAR|poolside][$rank+=3]]
<<set $mostrecent to "icecream">>\s\nAn ice cream truck breaks down in the parking lot. It could all go to waste!\n\n[[Grab a spoon|gaf]]\n<span class = "shakeit">[[Must! Resist!|IDGAF]]</span>
Where to, <<print either("you stone-cold badass", "pool hustler", "my liege", "pool dominator")>>?\n\n[[Parking lot]]\n<<if $novel is "stolen">>[[Locker room|Locker room 2]]<<else>>[[Locker room]]<<endif>>\n[[Food court]]\n\n[[Back|poolside]]
<<set $mostrecent to "pee">>\s\nA kid urinates in the pool. The water around him turns orange.\n\n[[Be grossed out|gaf]]\n<span class = "shakeit">[[Jump IN THERE|IDGAF]]</span>
<<if visited() is 1>>Now that you and him are cool, Zach lets you use the diving board.\n\n@@color:gold;text-shadow: 0px 0 15px #fff;NEW SKILL UNLOCKED@@\n\n[[Thanks, lil' bud|poolside][$cannonballskill="go"]]<<else>>You do a complicated handshake with your broski.\n\n[[Schway cool!|Allies]]<<endif>>
The swimming pool is ridiculously crowded when you arrive. Go into the water now and you'll be rubbing elbows with the plebs.\n\n<span class = "shakeit">[[That won't do|transition2]]</span>
You need to make this public pool your private party. Build a reputation, defeat your rivals, and let the people know how few fucks you give.\n\n<span class = "shakeit">[[Conquer the pool|poolside]]</span>\s\n<<set $fucks to 10>>\s\n<<set $money to 1>>\s\n<<set $rivals to 5>>\s\n<<set $allies to 0>>\s\n<<set $beatrice to "enemy">>\s\n<<set $rashid to "enemy">>\s\n<<set $joohee to "enemy">>\s\n<<set $mort to "enemy">>\s\n<<set $zach to "enemy">>
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<<set $mostrecent to "drowning">>\s\nA man is drowning in the deep end of the pool!\n\n[[Help him|gaf]]\n<span class = "shakeit">[[I.D.G.A.F.|IDGAF]]</span>
Mort waits impatiently for the other guy to finish his turn. "That's Lenny," Mort says. "I don't have enough time on my clock to share a lane with that potato-face."\n\n<<if $rashid is "friend">>[[Offer to help|Lenny][$mort="friend"]]<<else>>@@color: grey;Offer to help@@<<endif>>\n<<if $rank gt 20>>[[Intimidate|IntimidateM][$mort="neutral"]]<<else>>@@color: grey;Intimidate@@<<endif>>\n[[Back|Rivals]]
Five sweaty dollars. Spend them wisely.\n\n[[Back|Inventory]]
Beatrice is sunbathing and reading //Anna Karenina//. In Russian! She is easily the coolest person here.\n\n[[Interact|talkB]]\n[[Back|Rivals]]
"I've almost finished my book," she says. "I should have brought another one. //You're// certainly not holding my attention."\n\n<<if $book is 1>>[[Give her the book|Give book][$book-=1,$beatrice="friend"]]<<else>>@@color: grey;???@@<<endif>>\n[[Back|Rivals]]
Destiny Spearmint
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<<if $ccool lte 0 and $cannonballskill is "go">>Available: [[Cannonball Adderly|cannonballer][$ccool=3]]<<else if $ccool gt 0 and $cannonballskill is "go">>On Cooldown: Cannonball Adderly<<else>>Locked: Cannonball Adderly [requires diving board access]<<endif>>
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<strong>@@color:gold;text-shadow: 0px 0 15px #bfbfbf;POOL DOMINATOR@@</strong>\n@@color:#e5f8ff;font-size:16px;text-shadow: 0px 0 15px #bfbfbf;By Destiny Spearmint@@\n\n[[Play|transition1]]\n[[About]]
Very well. Your skills are undeniable, after all. Your possible character flaw has nonetheless been noted. We'll be watching.\n\n<span class = "hvr-bob">[[Enjoy your swim|Start]]</span>
//Crime and Punishment.// In Russian!\n\n[[Back|Inventory]]
<<if $threat is "active">><<set $attack +=1>><<newattack>><<else>><<if visited("poolside") % 4 is 0>><<set $attack +=1>><<newattack>><<else>><<attackvamp>><<endif>><<endif>>
<<if visited() is 1>>You play with Joo-hee, feeding off her adorableness.\n\n[[Everyone is so jelly!|poolside][$rank+=3]]<<else>>You wave to Joo-hee. Her dad glares at you.\n\n[[Dude, you're just jealous|Allies]]<<endif>>
You'll tear up the competition with that attitude. Keep it up! You might just live up to our expectations.\n\n<span class = "hvr-bob">[[Enjoy your swim|Start]]</span>
<<if visited("poolside") % 3 is 0>><<set $event +=1>><<newevent>><<else>><<vamp>><<endif>>
Your allies nod respectfully and depart. Soon you are alone. Pristine water glistens before you.<<insertion snap>> A margarita appears in your hand.<<gains>> A comfy-looking pool float drops into the water.<<gains>> A summer jam rocks the sound system.\n\n<span class = "hvr-pulse">[[That's more like it|jam]]</span><<endinsertion>>\n\n<<revise snap "Snap your fingers">>
A teenaged pot dealer is here. <<if $money is 1>>He nods to you, sensing your cash.<<else>>He ignores you, sensing your empty wallet.<<endif>>\n\n<<if $money is 1>>[[Buy weed|weed][$weed+=1,$money-=1]]<<else>>@@color: grey;text-decoration: line-through;Buy weed@@<<endif>>\n[[Back|Explore]]
A partially-smoked joint.\n\n[[Back|Inventory]]
<<if $threat is "active">><span class = "hvr-pulse">@@color:red;text-shadow: 0px 0 15px #fff;NEW@@</span><<set $rank-=3>><<else>><<if visited("poolside") % 4 is 0>>@@color:red;text-shadow: 0px 0 15px #fff;NEW@@<<set $rank-=4>><<set $threat to "active">><<endif>><<endif>>
She flicks a little water at you.\n\n[[Let her win][$joohee="friend"]]\n<span class = "shakeit">[[Destroy her|IntimidateJ][$joohee="neutral"]]</span>
1. <<if $beatrice is "friend">>[[Beatrice|Beatrice2]]<<else>>???<<endif>>\n2. <<if $rashid is "friend">>[[Rashid|Rashid2]]<<else if $rashid is "neutral">>@@color: grey;text-decoration: line-through;Rashid@@<<else>>???<<endif>>\n3. <<if $joohee is "friend">>[[Joo-hee|Joo-hee2]]<<else if $joohee is "neutral">>@@color: grey;text-decoration: line-through;Joo-hee@@<<else>>???<<endif>>\n4. <<if $mort is "friend">>[[Mort|Mort2]]<<else if $mort is "neutral">>@@color: grey;text-decoration: line-through;Mort@@<<else>>???<<endif>>\n5. <<if $zach is "friend">>[[Zach|Zach2]]<<else if $zach is "neutral">>@@color: grey;text-decoration: line-through;Zach@@<<else>>???<<endif>>\n\n[[Back|poolside]]
Joo-hee is the cutest kid in the pool. She's playing in the shallow end. You will never be that adorable.\n\n[[Interact|talkJ]]\n[[Back|Rivals]]
Rashid is the lifeguard. With a blow of his whistle, he can empty out the entire pool. He looks bored in his towering chair.\n\n[[Interact|talkR]]\n[[Back|Rivals]]
"How disturbingly convenient," she says. "Thank you nonetheless."\n\n@@color:#00ff15;text-shadow: 0px 0 15px #fff;BEATRICE IS NOW YOUR ALLY@@\n\n<span class = "hvr-grow">[[Boosh|poolside][$rivals-=1,$allies+=1]]</span>
<<if visited() is 1>>Your BFF Beatrice shares her godly suntanning secrets.\n\n@@color:gold;text-shadow: 0px 0 15px #fff;NEW SKILL UNLOCKED@@\n\n[[That's what I'm talking about!|poolside][$tanskill="go"]]<<else>>You strike up a conversation about Russian literature. About which you know nothing.\n\n[[She tires of you quickly|Allies]]<<endif>>
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<<if $event is 1>><<volleyball>><<else if $event is 2>><<icecream>><<else if $event is 3>><<pee>><<else if $event is 4>><<drowning>><<else if $event is 5>><<pregnant>><<else if $event is 6>><<proposition>><<else if $event is 7>><<god>><<else if $event gt 7>><<display either("pregnant", "drowning", "proposition", "icecream", "pee", "volleyball")>><<endif>>
Pool Dominator
<<if $mostrecent is "god">>I hope that mission is worth the chance to not give a fuck that you just wasted.<<else if $mostrecent is "pregnant">>It's a beautiful baby boy. Congratulations, Doctor.<<else if $mostrecent is "drowning">>Rashid saves the guy without your help. So much for giving a fuck.<<else if $mostrecent is "proposition">>You have a next-level orgasm in the stranger's Subaru. A fuck worth giving?<<else if $mostrecent is "icecream">>A lifelong dream is fulfilled. For better and worse, there's no denying that you give a fuck about ice cream.<<else if $mostrecent is "pee">>You know that pee is sterile, right? Get over yourself.<<else if $mostrecent is "volleyball">>You score a million points, but in doing so reveal that you kinda give a fuck about volleyball.<<endif>>\n\n[[Sometimes you gotta give a fuck|poolside]]
You rise to the surface on the backs of your enemies. You got knocked down, but you got up again.\n\n[[They're never gonna keep you down|poolside]]
You dart amongst them, serpentine, and they knock heads and collapse in a heap.\n\n[[Who wants seconds?|poolside]]
<<if $rank gt 20 and $rivals gt 0>>@@color:red;text-shadow: 0px 0 15px #fff;INTIMIDATE is available@@<<endif>>
<<print either("The pool deck is secure.", "Your enemies bide their time.", "No threats detected.", "Where are those cowards?")>>\n\n[[Back|poolside]]
Congratulations! You give zero fucks!\n\n@@color:gold;text-shadow: 0px 0 15px #fff;NEW SKILL UNLOCKED@@\n\n<span class = "shakeit">[[Like I give a fuck|poolside][$slideskill="go"]]</span>
Your honesty is commendable. Better to leave of your own accord than wait for new blood to thin the herd. Please use the back door when you go.\n\n<span class = "hvr-bob">[[Enjoy your swim|Start]]</span>
As you should. Pool domination is an awesome activity for awesome people. You'll go far.\n\n[[I'm here to stay]]\n[[Don't tell me where to go]]
<<if $rank gte 40 and $rivals is 0 and $fucks lte 0>><<victory>><<else>>You stand poolside and survey your kingdom-to-be. When people look at you, they see <<rank>>. You give <<if $fucks gt 0>><<$fucks>><<else>>zero<<endif>> <<if $fucks is 1>>fuck<<else>>fucks<<endif>>. You have <<$rivals>> <<if $rivals is 1>>rival<<else>>rivals<<endif>> and <<$allies>> <<if $allies is 1>>ally<<else>>allies<<endif>>.\n\n<<if $fucks gt 0>>[[Events]] <<new>><<else>>[[Attacks]] <<attack>><<endif>>\n[[Skills]]\n[[Rivals]] <<intimidate>>\n[[Allies]]\n[[Inventory]]\n[[Explore]]\s\n<<if $fucks lte 0>><<set $slideskill to "go">><<endif>>\s\n<<if visited("strut")>><<set $pcool -=1>><<endif>>\s\n<<if visited("cannonballer")>><<set $ccool -=1>><<endif>>\s\n<<if visited("slide")>><<set $dcool -=1>><<endif>>\s\n<<if visited("tan")>><<set $scool -=1>><<endif>>\s\n<<if visited("dive")>><<set $lcool -=1>><<endif>><<endif>>
You bake in the sun until golden brown. Beatrice is impressed! What can you say?\n\n[[I'm a natural|poolside][$rank+=4]]
Of the cheese variety.\n\n[[Back|Inventory]]
Your future benevolence as pool sovereign will surely justify this little indiscretion.\n\n[[It's just a book|poolside]]
<<if visited("poolside") % 3 is 0>>@@color:gold;text-shadow: 0px 0 15px #fff;NEW@@<<endif>>
@-webkit-keyframes shakeit {\n0% { -webkit-transform: rotate(0deg) translate(2px, 1px); }\n10% { -webkit-transform: rotate(2deg) translate(1px, 2px); }\n20% { -webkit-transform: rotate(-2deg) translate(3px, 0px) ; }\n30% { -webkit-transform: rotate(0deg) translate(0px, -2px); }\n40% { -webkit-transform: rotate(-2deg) translate(-1px, 1px); }\n50% { -webkit-transform: rotate(2deg) translate(1px, -2px); }\n60% { -webkit-transform: rotate(0deg) translate(3px, -1px); }\n70% { -webkit-transform: rotate(2deg) translate(-2px, -1px); }\n80% { -webkit-transform: rotate(-2deg) translate(1px, 1px); }\n90% { -webkit-transform: rotate(0deg) translate(-2px, -2px); }\n100% { -webkit-transform: rotate(2deg) translate(-1px, 2px); }\n}\n@keyframes shakeit {\n0% { transform: rotate(0deg) translate(2px, 1px); }\n10% { transform: rotate(2deg) translate(1px, 2px); }\n20% { transform: rotate(-2deg) translate(3px, 0px) ; }\n30% { transform: rotate(0deg) translate(0px, -2px); }\n40% { transform: rotate(-2deg) translate(-1px, 1px); }\n50% { transform: rotate(2deg) translate(1px, -2px); }\n60% { transform: rotate(0deg) translate(3px, -1px); }\n70% { transform: rotate(2deg) translate(-2px, -1px); }\n80% { transform: rotate(-2deg) translate(1px, 1px); }\n90% { transform: rotate(0deg) translate(-2px, -2px); }\n100% { transform: rotate(2deg) translate(-1px, 2px); }\n}\n.shakeit a:hover {\n-webkit-animation-name: shakeit;\n-webkit-animation-duration: 1s;\n-webkit-animation-timing-function: linear;\n-webkit-animation-iteration-count: infinite;\nanimation-name: shakeit;\nanimation-duration: 1s;\nanimation-timing-function: linear;\nanimation-iteration-count: infinite;\n}
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Even at five bucks, this pizza is overpriced. Is it even fully cooked?\n\n[[Seems like a raw deal|poolside]]
Created for ShuffleComp: Disc Two. Inspired by [["Fuego"|https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Td1hajshtGA&list=PL-oWQlDdbiNNHMmLiAGaO3aBa-2z6bkah&index=4]] by Bomba Estereo. Employs macros and a stylesheet by Leon Arnott and CSS hover effects by Ian Lunn. Tested in secret by good people.\n\n[[Back|Start]]
You call upon Rashid for assistance. He blows his whistle and loudly accuses Lenny of peeing in the pool before kicking him out.\n\n@@color:#00ff15;text-shadow: 0px 0 15px #fff;MORT IS NOW YOUR ALLY@@\n\n<span class = "hvr-grow">[[Boosh|poolside][$rivals-=1,$allies+=1]]</span>
<<peacock>>\n<<cannonball>>\n<<daredevil>>\n<<sungod>>\n<<leagues>>\n\n[[Back|poolside]]\s\n<<if visited("strut")>><<set $pcool -=1>><<endif>>\s\n<<if visited("cannonballer")>><<set $ccool -=1>><<endif>>\s\n<<if visited("slide")>><<set $dcool -=1>><<endif>>\s\n<<if visited("tan")>><<set $scool -=1>><<endif>>\s\n<<if visited("dive")>><<set $lcool -=1>><<endif>>
You swim to the bottom of the pool and chill there for like, 20 minutes. Rashid comes down at one point to make sure you're not dead.\n\n[[You give him a thumbs up|poolside][$rank+=4]]
<<if $scool lte 0 and $tanskill is "go">>Available: [[Sun God|tan][$scool=5]]<<else if $scool gt 0 and $tanskill is "go">>On Cooldown: Sun God<<else>>Locked: Sun God [requires training]<<endif>>
He gives you a half-smoked joint for the five sweaty dollars you hand him.\n\n[[Seems fair|poolside]]
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You don't need to offer twice. He and his cronies gobble it up. They think that you're just the coolest.\n\n@@color:#00ff15;text-shadow: 0px 0 15px #fff;ZACH IS NOW YOUR ALLY@@\n\n<span class = "hvr-grow">[[Boosh|poolside][$rivals-=1,$allies+=1]]</span>
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<<set $mostrecent to "volleyball">>\s\nAn impromptu volleyball tournament starts up.\n\n[[Spike it like you mean it|gaf]]\n<span class = "shakeit">[[I don't give a fuck|IDGAF]]</span>
<<if $dcool lte 0 and $slideskill is "go">>Available: [[Daredevil|slide][$dcool=4]]<<else if $dcool gt 0 and $slideskill is "go">>On Cooldown: Daredevil<<else>>Locked: Daredevil [requires 0 fucks given]<<endif>>
Rebels attempt to overthrow you! Literally! Like over the edge of the pool!\n\n[[Take the bastards with you|banish][$rank+=4, $threat="neutral"]]