*label 1

*rand dieroll 1 3

*if dieroll = 1
	*set greeting "You are requesting inbound approach.  Roger?"

*if dieroll = 2
	*set greeting "Non-union vessel, you are requesting inbound approach, Roger?"
	
*if dieroll = 3
	*set greeting "Voice analysis scans indicate you are requesting civilian approach, Roger?"
	
*rand dieroll 1 3

*if dieroll = 1
	*set response "Roger,"

*if dieroll = 2
	*set response "Ten four"
	
*if dieroll = 3
	*set response "Affirmative, Planetary Control"
	
*rand dieroll 1 3
	
*if dieroll = 1
	*set clearance "Roger that, ${ship_name}.  You are now cleared for landing, Roger."

*if dieroll = 2
	*set clearance "Five by five on that, ${ship_name}.  You are now cleared for landing, Roger."
	
*if dieroll = 3
	*set clearance "Roger that, ${ship_name}.  You have a green light for landing."
	
*rand dieroll 1 3

*if dieroll = 1
	*set rejection "Sorry, ${ship_name}, but we are denying you entry to ${planet_name}.  You've profited far too much from us, already."

*if dieroll = 2
	*set rejection "Our records show that your trading visa has expired.  You are banned from further entry.  Roger."
	
*if dieroll = 3
	*set rejection "Our spaceport is now closed to all but essential traffic.  You are denied entry, ${ship_name}."

*rand dieroll 1 11

*if dieroll = 1
	*set bar_customer_name "Philip Myers"
	
*if dieroll = 2
	*set bar_customer_name "Doc Harper"
	
*if dieroll = 3
	*set bar_customer_name "Filthy Kevin Roberts"
	
*if dieroll = 4
	*set bar_customer_name "Keith Willis"
	
*if dieroll = 5
	*set bar_customer_name "Eugene Gonzalez"
	
*if dieroll = 6
	*set bar_customer_name "Brainy Frank"
	
*if dieroll = 7
	*set bar_customer_name "Nicholas the Emperor"
	
*if dieroll = 8
	*set bar_customer_name "Brian the Sapphire"
	
*if dieroll = 9
	*set bar_customer_name "Frank the Romantic"
	
*if dieroll = 10
	*set bar_customer_name "Sean the Double"
	
*if dieroll = 11
	*set bar_customer_name "Los Angeles Watson"

*return
*label 2

*rand dieroll 1 3

*if dieroll = 1
	*set greeting "${planet_name} is a culturally restricted area.  You may only trade with us if you agree to respect our rules."

*if dieroll = 2
	*set greeting "Outsider!  On ${planet_name}, we do not brook interference with our ancient traditions and cultural practices."
	
*if dieroll = 3
	*set greeting "Infidel!  Be warned that anyone who attempts to interfere with our ancient ways will be put to death."
	
*rand dieroll 1 3

*if dieroll = 1
	*set response "I promise not to pollute your culture.  I come only to trade fair goods,"

*if dieroll = 2
	*set response "I respect and honor your way.  I come only for peaceful trading,"
	
*if dieroll = 3
	*set response "I shall obey all local customers.  I wish only for engage in fair trade,"
	
*rand dieroll 1 3

*if dieroll = 1
	*set clearance "Then we welcome you as a guileless trader to our humble planet, ${ship_name}."

*if dieroll = 2
	*set clearance "You have been warned, infidel!  But for now, you are clear to land."
	
*if dieroll = 3
	*set clearance "Our ancient prophet told us to welcome all peaceful traders.  Do not abuse our hospitality, ${ship_name}."
	
*rand dieroll 1 3

*if dieroll = 1
	*set rejection "No!  You defiled our ancient ways during your last visit.  Begone with you, ${ship_name}."

*if dieroll = 2
	*set rejection "No infidels allowed on this planet.  You are denied entry, ${ship_name}."
	
*if dieroll = 3
	*set rejection "Infidel, we warned you during your last visit to behave!  You are now banned for life from ${planet_name}."
	
*rand dieroll 1 11

*if dieroll = 1
	*set bar_customer_name "Ant Moriarty"
	
*if dieroll = 2
	*set bar_customer_name "Arman Devonshire"
	
*if dieroll = 3
	*set bar_customer_name "Arman Montgomery"
	
*if dieroll = 4
	*set bar_customer_name "Carm Corona"
	
*if dieroll = 5
	*set bar_customer_name "Cel Blaque"
	
*if dieroll = 6
	*set bar_customer_name "Isa Gutierrez"
	
*if dieroll = 7
	*set bar_customer_name "Jav Santi"
	
*if dieroll = 8
	*set bar_customer_name "Lizz Delgado"
	
*if dieroll = 9
	*set bar_customer_name "Sam Giovanni"
	
*if dieroll = 10
	*set bar_customer_name "Oophi Lestat"
	
*if dieroll = 11
	*set bar_customer_name "Nester"

*return
*label 3

*rand dieroll 1 3

*if dieroll = 1
	*set greeting "We are extremely friggin' busy right now.  Yer must wait, ${ship_name}."

*if dieroll = 2
	*set greeting "Unregistered vessel, we show no reservation fer yer ship in our database.  Take a number and await yer turn for clearance approach."
	
*if dieroll = 3
	*set greeting "${ship_name}, looks like you caught in the middle of the holiday season, so we're all backed up.  Yer have to wait."
	
*rand dieroll 1 3

*if dieroll = 1
	*set response "Understood.   Happy to wait, Planetary Control,"

*if dieroll = 2
	*set response "Word of your excellent goods has spread throughout the galaxy.  I fully understand why I need to wait,"
	
*if dieroll = 3
	*set response "Of course!  You guys are always slammed this time of year,"
	
*rand dieroll 1 3

*if dieroll = 1
	*set clearance "A dock at the spaceport just became free.  Yer now clear to land."

*if dieroll = 2
	*set clearance "Looks like this is your lucky day, ${ship_name} because a spot just opened up.  Yer cleared to land."
	
*if dieroll = 3
	*set clearance "One ship just departed, so a space has become available.  Yer cleared to land."
	
*rand dieroll 1 3

*if dieroll = 1
	*set rejection "Bad news, I'm afraid, ${ship_name}.  We've had an outbreak of Black Truffle Fever, so we cannot let you enter. "

*if dieroll = 2
	*set rejection "Unfortunately, we have had a technical malfunction.  Until it is repaired, we cannot let you land, ${ship_name}."
	
*if dieroll = 3
	*set rejection "Sorry, ${ship_name}, we're very busy at the moment.  Come back another time."
	
*rand dieroll 1 11

*if dieroll = 1
	*set bar_customer_name "Black Falchion"
	
*if dieroll = 2
	*set bar_customer_name "Empress G"
	
*if dieroll = 3
	*set bar_customer_name "Stormy"
	
*if dieroll = 4
	*set bar_customer_name "Desolation"
	
*if dieroll = 5
	*set bar_customer_name "the Wanderer"
	
*if dieroll = 6
	*set bar_customer_name "Duke"
	
*if dieroll = 7
	*set bar_customer_name "Burning Waterr"
	
*if dieroll = 8
	*set bar_customer_name "the Warden"
	
*if dieroll = 9
	*set bar_customer_name "the Elder"
	
*if dieroll = 10
	*set bar_customer_name "Pesti"
	
*if dieroll = 11
	*set bar_customer_name "the Agile Child"

*return
*label 4

*rand dieroll 1 3

*if dieroll = 1
	*set greeting "My goodness, gracious, me!  Sure is good to see some fresh faces 'round these parts, ${ship_name}."

*if dieroll = 2
	*set greeting "Boy howdy, ain't you a sight for sore eyes!  Been a while since anyone passed by this way, seems like."
	
*if dieroll = 3
	*set greeting "My goodness, a real trader?  Ain't had too many of you out here in a while, ${ship_name}."
	
*rand dieroll 1 3

*if dieroll = 1
	*set response "Just looking to sit and rest my dogs a spell, Planetary Control,"

*if dieroll = 2
	*set response "Aww shucks, I was just moseying on through the neighborhood, is all."
	
*if dieroll = 3
	*set response "Don't need to roll out the welcome wagon or nothing, just wanted somewhere to water my nag,"
	
*rand dieroll 1 3
	
*if dieroll = 1
	*set clearance "Well, drag up and rock and find yourself a place by the fire, ${ship_name}."

*if dieroll = 2
	*set clearance "Shoot, ain't no need for us to be yakking all day.  Hop on down and visit us for a while."
	
*if dieroll = 3
	*set clearance "Plenty of porridge in the pot, ${ship_name}!  Come on down and get you a spoon!"
	
*rand dieroll 1 3

*if dieroll = 1
	*set rejection "Hoo-boy, this ain't easy to say, pardner, but we can't let you land.  We're experiencing some mighty bad dust storms at the moment."

*if dieroll = 2
	*set rejection "Welp, wish I could say it weren't so, hoss, but we cannot let you in.  Having ourselves a bit of a situation down here at the moment.  P'raps another time!"
	
*if dieroll = 3
	*set rejection "Shucks and fiddlesticks, but we're plumb out of landing spots.  Can't let ya land, partner."
	
*rand dieroll 1 11

*if dieroll = 1
	*set bar_customer_name "Maggie"
	
*if dieroll = 2
	*set bar_customer_name "Pat"
	
*if dieroll = 3
	*set bar_customer_name "Lyn"
	
*if dieroll = 4
	*set bar_customer_name "Tim Lipsey"
	
*if dieroll = 5
	*set bar_customer_name "Christ E. Young"
	
*if dieroll = 6
	*set bar_customer_name "Billy Jo"
	
*if dieroll = 7
	*set bar_customer_name "Lottie Pa"
	
*if dieroll = 8
	*set bar_customer_name "Charles"
	
*if dieroll = 9
	*set bar_customer_name "Pat"
	
*if dieroll = 10
	*set bar_customer_name "Lo"
	
*if dieroll = 11
	*set bar_customer_name "Esther"
	

*return
*label 5

*rand dieroll 1 3

*if dieroll = 1
	*set greeting "Supper's on the hob, so grab a fork, pardner."

*if dieroll = 2
	*set greeting "Whipped up mah biscuits just as soon as I seen you setting down the dust, ${ship_name}"
	
*if dieroll = 3
	*set greeting "Howdy, ${ship_name}.  If we'd a knowed you was coming, we would've baked a cake."
	
*rand dieroll 1 3

*if dieroll = 1
	*set response "Mighty kind of ya to lay us a plate there, Planetary Control,"

*if dieroll = 2
	*set response "Can't hardly say no to some down home cooking, now can I, Planetary Control?"
	
*if dieroll = 3
	*set response "I reckon I might be a bit peckish and could do use to eat a bite, Planetary Control,"
	
*rand dieroll 1 3

*if dieroll = 1
	*set clearance "Hop on in and get while the getting's good, ${ship_name}!"

*if dieroll = 2
	*set clearance "Shoo-wee, our homemade biscuits will make you bawl for buttermilk, ${ship_name}!"
	
*if dieroll = 3
	*set clearance "Ain't nothing wrong with a healthy appetite, is there?  No, sirree!  Come on down and fill yourself a plate, ${ship_name}."
	
*rand dieroll 1 3

*if dieroll = 1
	*set rejection "Whoo-wee, wish I could give ya the green light to land there, ${ship_name}, but I just gosh darn can't.  Seems like you stirred up too much trouble the last time you were here."

*if dieroll = 2
	*set rejection "Gee, I see here where you visited us before, but now it says you're not allowed to land here anymore.  Come back once you get it sorted out, ${ship_name}."
	
*if dieroll = 3
	*set rejection "Slap doodle but if it don't say right here that you is on the ban list.  Don't know what you did last time you were here, but you can't come back, ${ship_name}.  Bye."
	
*rand dieroll 1 11

*if dieroll = 1
	*set bar_customer_name "Bad Collins"
	
*if dieroll = 2
	*set bar_customer_name "Dawn"
	
*if dieroll = 3
	*set bar_customer_name "Tracker Thomas"
	
*if dieroll = 4
	*set bar_customer_name "Robber Deb"
	
*if dieroll = 5
	*set bar_customer_name "Killer Pierce"
	
*if dieroll = 6
	*set bar_customer_name "Bully Perkins"
	
*if dieroll = 7
	*set bar_customer_name "Sixgun James"
	
*if dieroll = 8
	*set bar_customer_name "Sheila"
	
*if dieroll = 9
	*set bar_customer_name "Cure Carter"
	
*if dieroll = 10
	*set bar_customer_name "Dynamite Perkins"
	
*if dieroll = 11
	*set bar_customer_name "Edna"

*return
*label 6

*rand dieroll 1 3

*if dieroll = 1
	*set greeting "Captain of the ${ship_name}, your vessel's name is blasphemous and an abomination in the eyes of the Prophet!."

*if dieroll = 2
	*set greeting "Greetings, foul Unbeliever.  Your presence is a stench in the nose of the Prophet."
	
*if dieroll = 3
	*set greeting "So sayeth the Prophet, that all Unbelievers are unclean and lower than dogs."
	
*rand dieroll 1 3

*if dieroll = 1
	*set response "Blessed be the Prophet.  I am but a mere pilgrim to your Holy Planet,"

*if dieroll = 2
	*set response "A thousand blessings upon the Prophet's name.  I come as but a humble trader,"
	
*if dieroll = 3
	*set response "I fall to my knees and repent and swear upon the Prophet's name to redeem myself by offering you fair and honest trade,"
	
*rand dieroll 1 3

*if dieroll = 1
	*set clearance "Praise be unto the Prophet's ever-lasting glorious name!  In the name of the Prophet, we open our arms to your peaceful visit."

*if dieroll = 2
	*set clearance "The Prophet's divine guidance will keep you on the straight and narrow path, infidel.  You are cleared to land."
	
*if dieroll = 3
	*set clearance "In keeping with the Prophet's teachings on hospitality, we begrudgingly permit you clearance to land."
	
*rand dieroll 1 3

*if dieroll = 1
	*set rejection "Did we not warn you about insulting our Prophet?  You are now dead to us.  Never come back."

*if dieroll = 2
	*set rejection "Even with our Prophet's divine mantle over you, you still managed to defile our trading markets.  You are forever banned from landing here again, ${ship_name}."
	
*if dieroll = 3
	*set rejection "Our Prophet has given us a new instruction.  From now on, we will no longer allow outsiders to land.  Goodbye."
	
*rand dieroll 1 11

*if dieroll = 1
	*set bar_customer_name "Saood al-Omar"
	
*if dieroll = 2
	*set bar_customer_name "Waail al-Waheed"
	
*if dieroll = 3
	*set bar_customer_name "Fahmi al-Zaman"
	
*if dieroll = 4
	*set bar_customer_name "Taariq el-Turay"
	
*if dieroll = 5
	*set bar_customer_name "Mubarak el-Ghani"
	
*if dieroll = 6
	*set bar_customer_name "Taaj el-Jama"
	
*if dieroll = 7
	*set bar_customer_name "Humaid el-Ismail"
	
*if dieroll = 8
	*set bar_customer_name "Sirraj al-Khalili"
	
*if dieroll = 9
	*set bar_customer_name "Imtinaan al-Ismael"
	
*if dieroll = 10
	*set bar_customer_name "Khairiya al-Fadel"
	
*if dieroll = 11
	*set bar_customer_name "Fakeeha al-Alam"

*label 7

*rand dieroll 1 3

*if dieroll = 1
	*set greeting "Hey, you stranger.  Why you want come here?"

*if dieroll = 2
	*set greeting "We don't know you.  Why you want come here?"
	
*if dieroll = 3
	*set greeting "You, outsider!  Why we want to see you?"
	
*rand dieroll 1 3

*if dieroll = 1
	*set response "We are all brothers and sisters underneath the starry sky of ${planet_name},"

*if dieroll = 2
	*set response "Vultar's wisdom blesses us all, brothers and sisters of ${planet_name},"
	
*if dieroll = 3
	*set response "The same seed of wisdom grows in us all, brothers and sisters of ${planet_name},"
	
*rand dieroll 1 3

*if dieroll = 1
	*set clearance "Long may Vultar reign!  You have our blessing to land."

*if dieroll = 2
	*set clearance "Vultar reigns supreme!  We welcome you to ${planet_name}, traveler."
	
*if dieroll = 3
	*set clearance "Vultar's hand guides us all.  Welcome to ${planet_name}, traveler."
	
*rand dieroll 1 3

*if dieroll = 1
	*set rejection "Vultar's wrath upon you, ${ship_name}!  We want nothing more to do with your accursed ways."

*if dieroll = 2
	*set rejection "Vultar has removed his blessing upon you for your vicious and venial ways.  Begone, unbeliever!"
	
*if dieroll = 3
	*set rejection "The high priest of Vultar has excommunicated you for your behavior on ${planet_name}.  Never return here!"
	
*rand dieroll 1 11

*if dieroll = 1
	*set bar_customer_name "Milun Saura"
	
*if dieroll = 2
	*set bar_customer_name "Arup Kendu"
	
*if dieroll = 3
	*set bar_customer_name "Yaduvir Patra"
	
*if dieroll = 4
	*set bar_customer_name "Bhavesh Dangayat"
	
*if dieroll = 5
	*set bar_customer_name "Gauresh Uttarakabat"
	
*if dieroll = 6
	*set bar_customer_name "Rajmal Jagatray"
	
*if dieroll = 7
	*set bar_customer_name "Dinar Dash"
	
*if dieroll = 8
	*set bar_customer_name "Lopamudra Padam"
	
*if dieroll = 9
	*set bar_customer_name "Mangla Bisoi"
	
*if dieroll = 10
	*set bar_customer_name "Nigah Karlia"
	
*if dieroll = 11
	*set bar_customer_name "Urvashi Arlab"

*return
*label 8

*rand dieroll 1 3

*if dieroll = 1
	*set greeting "Unregistered vessel, state the purpose of your business.  Failure to give a truthful declaration may result in severe penalties."

*if dieroll = 2
	*set greeting "Unidentified vessel, state your business immediately or we will be forced to board your ship.  Failure to give a truthful declaration may result in severe penalties."
	
*if dieroll = 3
	*set greeting "You are encroaching on sovereign space, unidentified vessel.  You must immediately declare the purpose of your visit or depart this sector."
	
*rand dieroll 1 3

*if dieroll = 1
	*set response "Planetary control, this is the ${ship_name}, and I request entrance under section two dash six, subsection nine,"

*if dieroll = 2
	*set response "Planetary control, my ship's registration number is ${regnumber}, I request entrance under section two dash six, subsection nine,"
	
*if dieroll = 3
	*set response "Planetary control, this is ${ship_name}, a peaceful trading vessel, I request entrance under section two dash six, subsection nine,"
	
*rand dieroll 1 3

*if dieroll = 1
	*set clearance "Two dash six, subsection nine, confirmed.  You are cleared to land."

*if dieroll = 2
	*set clearance "I see that you are familiar with our regulations.  Permission to trade claimed under section two dash six, susection nine, confirmed.  You are cleared to land."
	
*if dieroll = 3
	*set clearance "2-6 sub 9, confirmed.  You are cleared to land, ${ship_name}."
	
*rand dieroll 1 3

*if dieroll = 1
	*set rejection "Our records show that you violated paragraph three of subsection nine of the penal code two dash six.  You are hereby DENIED entry."

*if dieroll = 2
	*set rejection "A court on ${planet_name} has convicted you of violating paragraph three of penal code two dash six, subsection nine.  You are denied permission to land."
	
*if dieroll = 3
	*set rejection "By law, any vessel which knowingly or willingly engages in predatory mercantile behavior can be classified as having violated law two dash six of the penal code, subsection nine, paragraph three.  You are denied permission to land."
	
*rand dieroll 1 11

*if dieroll = 1
	*set bar_customer_name "Landgrave Ferand"
	
*if dieroll = 2
	*set bar_customer_name "Margrave Randolph"
	
*if dieroll = 3
	*set bar_customer_name "Prince Jemmy"
	
*if dieroll = 4
	*set bar_customer_name "Viscount Imgelramus"
	
*if dieroll = 5
	*set bar_customer_name "Cardinal Sayer"
	
*if dieroll = 6
	*set bar_customer_name "Viceroy Ismanna"
	
*if dieroll = 7
	*set bar_customer_name "Duchess Elspat"
	
*if dieroll = 8
	*set bar_customer_name "Empress Marioth"
	
*if dieroll = 9
	*set bar_customer_name "Prince Consort Barty"
	
*if dieroll = 10
	*set bar_customer_name "Baronet Peterskin"
	
*if dieroll = 11
	*set bar_customer_name "Yeoman Jacobus"

*return
*label 9

*rand dieroll 1 3

*if dieroll = 1
	*set greeting "Yippee-yay kye-yo!  Based on our scans of your ship, shore betcha yer keister must be mighty saddle sore, pardner."

*if dieroll = 2
	*set greeting "Been a bit of a bag of nails over here, hoss.  Two calf slobberers brought some crowbait in here, and it was some real hair in the butter, ${ship_name}."
	
*if dieroll = 3
	*set greeting "Well light a shuck, don't mean to pull your horns, but we ain't looking for any roostering."
	
*rand dieroll 1 3

*if dieroll = 1
	*set response "I'd sorely love a plate of hot beans and a slug of some thick molasses rum, pardner,"

*if dieroll = 2
	*set response "Thunderation!  Been out here living off of prairie coal and quirleys.  Just looking to mosey in and do some higgling,"
	
*if dieroll = 3
	*set response "This ain't no hifer ship, control.  Just trying to make my jack, not spread any hen skin,"

*rand dieroll 1 3

*if dieroll = 1
	*set clearance "Kye-hee-la!  Tie her up and come on in, hoss."

*if dieroll = 2
	*set clearance "Of the first water, ${ship_name}!  Ride that Rocky Mountain canary on in."
	
*if dieroll = 3
	*set clearance "Oy, you gave me the squinnies, ${ship_name}!  For that, you deserve a lammy and some broom-tail."
	
*rand dieroll 1 3

*if dieroll = 1
	*set rejection "According to our laws, you is a hoss thief, ${ship_name}!  And we don't tolerate such misbehavin' around here, ya filthy varmint."

*if dieroll = 2
	*set rejection "Git on now, git!  We ain't got no more use for the likes of you, ${ship_name}."
	
*if dieroll = 3
	*set rejection "My hide in a hat, you got some mountain oysters for trying to come back here after the last stunt you pulled.  Go away, ${ship_name}."
	
*rand dieroll 1 11

*if dieroll = 1
	*set bar_customer_name "Hugo Mad Eye"
	
*if dieroll = 2
	*set bar_customer_name "Cheating Jordy"
	
*if dieroll = 3
	*set bar_customer_name "Four-Fingered Ash"
	
*if dieroll = 4
	*set bar_customer_name "Diamond Gabby"
	
*if dieroll = 5
	*set bar_customer_name "Emerson the Cheat"
	
*if dieroll = 6
	*set bar_customer_name "Bug-eyed Audie"
	
*if dieroll = 7
	*set bar_customer_name "Nine-lives Sandra"
	
*if dieroll = 8
	*set bar_customer_name "Lina the Pegleg"
	
*if dieroll = 9
	*set bar_customer_name "Rosie Angel Eyes"
	
*if dieroll = 10
	*set bar_customer_name "Crackpot Zoey"
	
*if dieroll = 11
	*set bar_customer_name "Hector Whispers"

*return
*label 10

*rand dieroll 1 3

*if dieroll = 1
	*set greeting "Blessed Day of lawka be unto you, ${ship_name}."

*if dieroll = 2
	*set greeting "Endless miracles of lawka stream unto you, ${ship_name}."
	
*if dieroll = 3
	*set greeting "Awaken so that the eyes of lawka may see, ${ship_name}."
	
*rand dieroll 1 3

*if dieroll = 1
	*set response "May everlasting lawka flow over you, Planetary Control,"

*if dieroll = 2
	*set response "One billion million blessings of lawka unto you, Planetary Control,"
	
*if dieroll = 3
	*set response "The endless fountain of lawka, may it forever bless the ten billion planets,"
	
*rand dieroll 1 3

*if dieroll = 1
	*set clearance "Enter unto common consciousness with us, friend.  You are blessed to land."

*if dieroll = 2
	*set clearance "May your Third Eye open, ${ship_name}.  We give you our warmest blessings to land."
	
*if dieroll = 3
	*set clearance "Thee art welcome into the ample bosom of lafka, ${ship_name}."
	
*rand dieroll 1 3

*if dieroll = 1
	*set rejection "You have overdeveloped your ego, Captain.  We cannot allow you to disturb our meditation.  Go, walk your own path."

*if dieroll = 2
	*set rejection "Your chakras have become misaligned, Captain.  We encourage you to pursue emotional growth before returning here again."
	
*if dieroll = 3
	*set rejection "Our sensors detect a disturbing aura around your ship, Captain.  Return here only after you have purified yourself."
	
*rand dieroll 1 11

*if dieroll = 1
	*set bar_customer_name "Peppetmint Poemdance"
	
*if dieroll = 2
	*set bar_customer_name "Fig Nibblefriend"
	
*if dieroll = 3
	*set bar_customer_name "Winter Toffeemoon"
	
*if dieroll = 4
	*set bar_customer_name "Jingle Chocolatedancer"
	
*if dieroll = 5
	*set bar_customer_name "Starlight Candybox"
	
*if dieroll = 6
	*set bar_customer_name "Bushy Angellaugh"
	
*if dieroll = 7
	*set bar_customer_name "Snowball Crackecarol"
	
*if dieroll = 8
	*set bar_customer_name "Fuzzle Bustlecane"
	
*if dieroll = 9
	*set bar_customer_name "Blue Jigglesong"
	
*if dieroll = 10
	*set bar_customer_name "Brownie Ivyflake"
	
*if dieroll = 11
	*set bar_customer_name "Dash Bustycheer"

*return
*label 11

*rand dieroll 1 3

*if dieroll = 1
	*set greeting "What the bleep do you want?"

*if dieroll = 2
	*set greeting "Quit joking around on the public frequency, punk!"
	
*if dieroll = 3
	*set greeting "Hey joker, whoever you are, get off of this frequency!"
	
*rand dieroll 1 3

*if dieroll = 1
	*set response "I just thought you might like to make some quick cash, but nah, I see you're too dumb,"

*if dieroll = 2
	*set response "Heard y'all might be interested in some butter, but guess I heard wrong.  ${ship_name} over and out,"
	
*if dieroll = 3
	*set response "Fella at the starbase told me y'all might could be interested in some good tradin', but guess not.  Sucks for you!  I'm out of here,"
	
*rand dieroll 1 3

*if dieroll = 1
	*set clearance "Fine.  You're cleared to land or whatever."

*if dieroll = 2
	*set clearance "Ugh, you people never give up.  Fine.  I guess you can land."
	
*if dieroll = 3
	*set clearance "Listening to you is making my headache worse.  Just friggin' land already."
	
*rand dieroll 1 3

*if dieroll = 1
	*set rejection "Nah, we're sick of you.  Go away."

*if dieroll = 2
	*set rejection "Thanks but no thanks."
	
*if dieroll = 3
	*set rejection "Whatever it is you're selling, we don't want it."
	
*rand dieroll 1 11

*if dieroll = 1
	*set bar_customer_name "Otis"
	
*if dieroll = 2
	*set bar_customer_name "Charles Ray"
	
*if dieroll = 3
	*set bar_customer_name "Duke"
	
*if dieroll = 4
	*set bar_customer_name "Willie"
	
*if dieroll = 5
	*set bar_customer_name "Clifton"
	
*if dieroll = 6
	*set bar_customer_name "Breanna"
	
*if dieroll = 7
	*set bar_customer_name "Peaches"
	
*if dieroll = 8
	*set bar_customer_name "Bobbi Jo"
	
*if dieroll = 9
	*set bar_customer_name "Buffy"
	
*if dieroll = 10
	*set bar_customer_name "Linedieanne"
	
*if dieroll = 11
	*set bar_customer_name "Lil' Abner"

*return