Welcome to the ultimate resource for CaffeiNation players!  If you are looking for a specific question, do a search for it, as the questions are generally in the order they occur in the game.  Drop a line to loegering@earthlink.net if you have other questions, or god forbid, find a bug.

--- MAIN STORY ---
-> How do I get out of the office?
- Incriminate Frank Juniper
Through dialog, it can be discovered that somebody (you) has been stealing office supplies, especially sticky notes.  There is a pad of notes on Frank's desk, which can be slipped into his back pocket (give notes to Frank).  After entering Mr. Norom's office and closing his door, you can then 'tell Norom about Frank', which sends Mr. Norom into a tizzy.  You then 'tell Frank about Norom' in order to tell him that Frank is needed in a meeting.  A chewing out ensues, which closes Mr. Norom's door, allowing you to walk out the back door.

- Exit through the wall
On the second floor of the office there is an empty cube - Bill Huron's old cube.  Under the work area is a hole in the wall, which when looked in, is found to be bigger than expected.  Enter the hole, climb down to the first floor and kick the wall.  Keep kicking until there is a hole big enough to crawl out and you are free.

- Incapacitate Mr. Norom
The most intricate option requires you to brew foul coffee upstairs in the break room.  Search the garbage there until yesterday's coffee grounds are found.  Fill the coffee pot from the water cooler downstairs (fill pot) and return to the break room to 'make coffee'.  Be sure to turn the coffee pot on or it will not brew.  Wait around until Lesley enters the room, then go pull up the rug once outside of her cubicle.  Go back to the break room, wait for the coffee maker to finish and try to get the pot.  Mr. Norom will swoop in, take some coffee that you made and leave.  Following him back to his office, you find him at the bottom of the stairs, broken mug in hand, after having tripped over the lump in the carpet and falling down the stairs.  By far, the most satisfying way to get out of the office.


-> How do I get out of the alley?
- Walk out
If Mr. Norom is still conscious, one can sneak by his window by using 'sneak s'.  If he is out of commission, he certainly will not see you, even without being sneaky.

- Climb the fire escape
x Get to the roof by standing on boxes
There are two cardboard boxes that can be stacked and stood upon.  Each box must be filled with a bag of garbage from the dumpster to make it sturdy enough to stand on.  If you find yourself standing on the wrong box to climb the fire escape, just try the other one.  Obviously, boxes must be closed, opened and stacked in the correct order - no standing on open boxes.
x Get to the roof by standing on the dumpster
The dumpster can be pushed north but only after it is empty.  There are 10 bags of garbage or so, so roll up your sleeves and be the trash man.  After pushing it south, close it, stand on it and climb the fire escape.

- Get off the roof
x 'jump' - Without proper foresight, the player can jump off the roof.  One can always climb back down into the alley, but jumping results in being knocked out for a good number of turns, yet has the funny side effect of getting money from passerbys for looking like a passed-out bum.
x 'climb cord' - Using the power strip from Bill Huron's empty cube on the 2nd floor of the office, which is under the work area, you can tie it to a pipe and climb the cord.  No fuss no muss.

- Go through the sewer
At the north end of the alley, under the box, is the sewer cover.  Open it and go down.  It is dark, but by going sw twice there is a junction.  Going sw or s will bring you to dead ends, but going w will bring you to the rats.

- Satisfy the rats
x 'throw pot at rats' - See *Incapacitate Mr. Norom* for how to brew foul coffee.  Make some and throw a pot of it at the rats.  Even rats don't like it.  That is *BAD* coffee!
x 'give garbage to rats' - Pick up a bag of garbage from the alley and give it to the rats.  Rats like garbage.


-> How do I get to CaffeiNation?
- Leather express
Or rather, walk in through the front door.  There is a line, but there are ways around that.

- Through Gargantuan Lexicon
If you can find your way to the Science Fiction section, there is a guy standing there.  Go south and you should be in the storeroom.  Go south again and behold, you are behind CaffeiNation.  However, you need an apron to look like an employee.  In the Cookbooks section, there is a book called Salsa for Dummies that can be found by searching the shelf.  Open it and an apron falls out with Salsa written on it.

- Through the subway loading elevator
After getting the overalls from the laundromat (washing machine two) and either waiting for them to dry a little or using a dryer, go to the subway platform.  You can buy a token or find one in the sewer or just jump over the turnstyle if you are not going back to the street (where the cop would arrest you).  If the overalls are dry enough, you can go past the newsstand guy to the loading area.  Get in the elevator and push the button and you are behind CaffeiNation.

-> How do I get the coffee of coffees, the Molto Maximus Bean Blaster?
- Remove the line
In order to buy the coffee or use the card, the line has to be removed.  A nice, docile rat can be found after dispatching the rats in the sewer (see above) further west towards the subway.  Drop him in the coffee shop and the line disappears like magic.
x Buy it
If you diligently collected all of the money you may be able to buy it.  Put all of your change in the hands of the counter monkeys, sit back and win.
x Use the CaffeiNation freebie card
Complicated, but free, you can doctor the coffee card to be good for a free coffee.  A hole puncher can be obtained from the supply closet in the office.  Pull on the door until it snaps then reach inside the hole.  Punch the card three times.  Escape the office and go to the Buy 'n Blow.  Enter and exit the shop until you see a message that the store is being robbed.  Go tell the cop about it and go back to the store.  You will see the theif being arrested and drop something.  It is his knife.  Get the knife and cut the card three times.  Presto!  Instant legitimate coffee card.

- Ask Bill Huron for it
Bill Huron is sleeping in the back room, which you can hear from one of the dead ends in the sewer.  If you are wearing an apron, you can walk back there from the front.  If you are in the loading area back, you can either carry in the coffee box for the delivery guy (which is in the truck) or give him something to eat or a smoke to pacify him.  Once in the back of CaffeiNation, if holding the box, try to open the door and somebody will help you out and open it for you.  Otherwise, knock on the door until Frank wakes up and unlocks the door.  Enter and ask him for a coffee, drink and enjoy.  You can tell him about some of the crazy stuff you did as well.

--- OTHER HELP ---
- How do I get more energy?
There are a few items in the game that when consumed or encountered can give the player's waning will to live a boost.  Some of them are quite expensive.  The things at the bookstore coffee shop give the biggest boost.  They are:
Instant Tea - from the coffee machine
Candy Bars - from the Buy 'n Blow and Subway newsstand
Lovely Lesley's glance - do her work
Weak Coffee - from the Buy 'n Blow and Subway newsstand
Cigarettes - bought from the Buy 'n Blow or found in the Supply Tunnel in the Subway
Mocha Coffee - from the Gargantuan Lexicon coffee shop
Chocolate covered espresso beans - from the Gargantuan Lexicon coffee shop

- Where can I find money?
your work area - two quarters, but you knew that
yourself - search yourself
Frank Juniper - 'Frank, give money to me', just asking for it won't cut it
Coffee Machine - nickel in the change tray
Roof jumping - jump off the roof, fall unconscious and the passerbys take you for a bum, giving you $1.35
Rug - under the loose rug on the 2nd floor of the office is a dollar and a quarter, keep pulling!  Brew foul coffee to get Lesley out of her cube.
Overalls - there is a dollar and quarter in the pockets of the overalls at the laundromat
Sewer adjacent to Subway - a token, not technically money, but useful for law abiding citizens

I believe there may be is enough money to actually buy the ultimate coffee, but only if you find all of the money and do not buy anything else, which is both hazardous and unlikely.

- Dammit, how do I get coffee out of the coffee machine?
You don't.  See the section on red herrings.  You can get instant tea, which when water is added does give you a boost.

- How do I buy a book?
You don't.  They cost too much.  Just like real life.

- Why am I getting arrested?
If you jump the turnstyle in the subway or walk out of the bookstore with a book, the cop will be after you.

- How do I get out of the handcuffs?
You can pick the lock with either a dime or paper clip.  The paper clip will break, but the dime can be used over and over again if you keep getting arrested.

- Where can I get a light for the cigarettes?
On the subway platform, you can find people to help you out.

- How do I keep ahold of the alley cat?
If you manage to pick the cat up, it will always squirm out of your grasp unless you put it in a box and close the lid.  Feed it a pizza crust to get it to calm down temporarily, which can be found in any garbage bag if you search enough times.

- Something smells fishy - how many red herrings are there in this game?
coffee machine - all it can do is eat money and dispense tea once
cat - one would think the cat would be effective against rats, but after all of that effort of putting it in a box and bringing it to the rats, the rats get it instead.
waiting in lines - the lines never move so you better try something else