NOTE ---

This is not the shortest way to solve the game.  I took some time out
to demonstrate some of the fun you can have with the game.  There's plenty
more to do so I urge you to explore and enjoy! - Howard

Start of a transcript of

BOFH
The Bastard Operator from Hell comes to IF. 
BOFH is Copyright (c) Simon Travaglia and is used with Permission. 
(Visit bofh.ntk.net, www.theregister.co.uk, www.plan9.org for info) 
Inform Story File Copyright (c) 2002 by Howard A. Sherman 
Type "about" for more story and legal information.
Release 1 / Serial number 020927 / Inform v6.21 Library 6/10 SD
Standard interpreter 1.0 (6F) / Library serial number 991113

>look

Mission Control
Your office, where you carry out your Bastardly duties, is equipped with the
finest furnishings and equipment necessary to perform your work.  As you have an
aversion to cheap kit, your desk is the finest example of office furniture ever
bestowed upon the human race.  Sitting atop this monument to furniture is the
single most powerful computer in the company; your personal workstation.  Only
two decorations adorn the walls; a Bill Gatus of Borg poster and a daily
calendar.  North leads out of Mission Control to other, less important areas
while you spot a very large and serious looking door down the hall just east.

On the desk are an inbox (in which is a note from your boss) and an outbox
(which is empty).

You can see an Armageddon-proof safe (which is closed) and Dave's Toshiba laptop
here.

>read memo
Your boss never ceases to amaze you.  You weren't aware that he was capable of
basic writing skills.  However, this note is too short to indicate just how far
those skills go.  This paper simply says:

"Security admitted a repair technician to the server room this morning.  Check
on his progress.  Accounting needs their file server back online!"


>look at calendar
This indispensable time-keeping tool of the BOFH is one of those old fashioned
one-day-to-a-page calendars.  The page showing is today's date and today's
excuse is "Solar-Flares"

>solar-flares
Yes, "solar-flares" is today's excuse but why is that important now?
>open safe
You open the Armageddon-proof safe, revealing Amsterdam Travel Photos.

>take photos
Taken.

>e

Entrance to Comms And Servers Area
This is a highly secure area to prevent unauthorized access to the sensitive
equipment due east.

The security door is closed and locked.

>unlock door with swipe card
You unlock the steel door.

>open door
You open the steel door.

>e

Comms Room
This small room is where all of the company's communication equipment is housed.
Cat-5 wires surround you with an almost suffocating effect.  There may even be
some ancient thickwire back there behind all the 10BaseT. You dare not tamper
with anything for fear of being swallowed alive in this jungle.  You feel a cool
rush of air as well as some humming coming from the east while west leads back
to less serious areas.

>s

Comms Room, In the Maze of Kit
This is part of a maze of communications equipment, all alike.

>w
You can't go that way.

>n

Comms Room, In the Maze of Kit
This is part of a maze of communications equipment, all alike.

You can see The Majestic Hammer of Bastarddom here.

>get
(The Majestic Hammer of Bastarddom)
You pick up The Hammer and feel its power coarse through your body...Taken.

[Your score has just gone up by ten points.]

>s
You can't go that way.

>n
You can't go that way.

>e

Comms Room

>w

Entrance to Comms And Servers Area

The security door is open leading into the Comms Room

>e

Comms Room

>e

Server Room
Your server room is several levels above state-of-the-art.  Three aisles of
racks are solidly bolted into the concrete floor.  Each aisle is approximately
20 feet long and is populated only by the finest equipment your company's money
can buy.  The slowest machine occupying rack space is a Pentium IV 1.6 GhZ
machine with 2GB of RAM.  The best machines are reserved, of course, for BRF
Operations [Note1].  Aside from the $5,000,000 or so in equipment in here, you
can't help but notice it's roughly 20 degrees cooler than Mission Control and is
quite a bit noisier as all the cooling fans from all these different servers,
routers, modem racks, etc. are running all at once.  Other areas worthy of your
attention lay both east and west.

The tech observes smoke wafting from a server and mutters "That's
interesting..."

>look

Server Room
Your server room is several levels above state-of-the-art.  Three aisles of
racks are solidly bolted into the concrete floor.  Each aisle is approximately
20 feet long and is populated only by the finest equipment your company's money
can buy.  The slowest machine occupying rack space is a Pentium IV 1.6 GhZ
machine with 2GB of RAM.  The best machines are reserved, of course, for BRF
Operations [Note1].  Aside from the $5,000,000 or so in equipment in here, you
can't help but notice it's roughly 20 degrees cooler than Mission Control and is
quite a bit noisier as all the cooling fans from all these different servers,
routers, modem racks, etc. are running all at once.  Other areas worthy of your
attention lay both east and west.

The tech jabs the power supply of a server with his screwdriver which causes the
lights to dim as the server makes a very loud BANG!

>look

Server Room
Your server room is several levels above state-of-the-art.  Three aisles of
racks are solidly bolted into the concrete floor.  Each aisle is approximately
20 feet long and is populated only by the finest equipment your company's money
can buy.  The slowest machine occupying rack space is a Pentium IV 1.6 GhZ
machine with 2GB of RAM.  The best machines are reserved, of course, for BRF
Operations [Note1].  Aside from the $5,000,000 or so in equipment in here, you
can't help but notice it's roughly 20 degrees cooler than Mission Control and is
quite a bit noisier as all the cooling fans from all these different servers,
routers, modem racks, etc. are running all at once.  Other areas worthy of your
attention lay both east and west.

The engineer dreams outloud about becoming an MCSE.

>look

Server Room
Your server room is several levels above state-of-the-art.  Three aisles of
racks are solidly bolted into the concrete floor.  Each aisle is approximately
20 feet long and is populated only by the finest equipment your company's money
can buy.  The slowest machine occupying rack space is a Pentium IV 1.6 GhZ
machine with 2GB of RAM.  The best machines are reserved, of course, for BRF
Operations [Note1].  Aside from the $5,000,000 or so in equipment in here, you
can't help but notice it's roughly 20 degrees cooler than Mission Control and is
quite a bit noisier as all the cooling fans from all these different servers,
routers, modem racks, etc. are running all at once.  Other areas worthy of your
attention lay both east and west.

The tech observes smoke wafting from a server and mutters "That's
interesting..."

>look

Server Room
Your server room is several levels above state-of-the-art.  Three aisles of
racks are solidly bolted into the concrete floor.  Each aisle is approximately
20 feet long and is populated only by the finest equipment your company's money
can buy.  The slowest machine occupying rack space is a Pentium IV 1.6 GhZ
machine with 2GB of RAM.  The best machines are reserved, of course, for BRF
Operations [Note1].  Aside from the $5,000,000 or so in equipment in here, you
can't help but notice it's roughly 20 degrees cooler than Mission Control and is
quite a bit noisier as all the cooling fans from all these different servers,
routers, modem racks, etc. are running all at once.  Other areas worthy of your
attention lay both east and west.

When he thinks nobody is looking, the plonker takes a swig from a small flask he
pulls from a hidden pocket.

>e

Tape Storage
This is the safest, most secure room in the building as it contains all of your
company's computer records starting from the beginning of time. Stacks and piles
of tapes are literally everywhere.  Your eyes glaze over this sea of ancient
media.  All of this is neccesary since every single transaction of any kind is
backed up, cataloged and stored here. In the event of a fire, an air-tight door
slams shut and a halon system is activated in the comms room, the server room as
well as this room. God help any poor soul that is trapped in this area during a
fire alarm. A single exit, due west, leads back to the server room 

>look at tapes
Some of these prehistoric tapes have names such as "OS/2 Backup", "System
Snapshot 1982" and "Best of Porn - The Rusty and Edie Collection"

>w

Server Room

The engineer dreams outloud about becoming an MCSE.

>w

Comms Room

>w

Entrance to Comms And Servers Area

The security door is open leading into the Comms Room

>w

Mission Control

On the desk are an inbox (in which is a note from your boss) and an outbox
(which is empty).

You can see an Armageddon-proof safe (which is empty) and Dave's Toshiba laptop
here.

>n

Corridor to Mission Control
This corridor runs north-south to the Hell Desk [Note2], your boss's office and
other trivial areas while The Parts Store is just east and the Technician's Room
is west.

>e

Parts Store
This is the IT Department's Parts Storage area.  Unlabelled cardboard boxes
surround you, full of dated parts of dubious value.  Only a skilled technician
could find something in this chaotic filing system.

>w

Corridor to Mission Control

>w

Technician's Room
You can tell this is the room where the company technician works just by the
1988 calendar featuring a young, scantily clad busty blonde woman hanging on one
wall.  The technician, rumored to have been installed with the building, is not
here.  In fact he's never here.  Ever.

You can see a denim jacket here.

>e

Corridor to Mission Control

>n

Corridor to IT Department
This long corridor continues north and south to the IT Department and Mission
Control.

You can see a Fire Alarm Panel here.

>turn alarm on
A very loud siren roars to life and water sprinklers begin showering water all
over you.  In the distance you hear a lot of muffled yelling and a continual
pounding coming from the south.
[Your score has just gone up by ten points.]

>n

Open Plan Area
This large room is filled with cubicles in neat rows. Presumably the people
inside those small work boxes perform necessary company tasks such as supply
requisitions, accounting, staff training, etc. As far as you're concerned these
people serve no purpose at all except to suck up payroll funds that could
otherwise be paid to you.  Oddly enough, none of the cubicles are occupied. No
doubt the tennants were scared off by the urine-in-the-water cooler scare. The
cubicle at the end, nearest to the boss's office, belongs to the boss's
secretary.  This cubicle is famous for its exquisite view.  Of the boss's
secretary. The Boss's office is just east while the Hell Desk is west. A large
copier is against one wall.

Stephen, a co-worker who suffers from intelligence deficiency is here. He looks
a bit stressed.

"You're our network administrator so please tell me why I can't send or receive
any email this morning. It was working fine last night!", he whines.
You get the impression that answering Stephen's question will be time-consuming
and painful.  You decide to take care of him as soon as the rest of your
Bastardly duties have been fulfilled.

>e

The Boss's Office
The prevailing philosophy of your boss ("Play it safe.") extended to the heavy
management decision of how to decorate his office; there is absolutely no
distinction or personality here.  A bookcase occupies one wall stocked with
nothing but a couple of corporate manuals and an endless number of "For Dummies"
books.  Another wall is home to an alochol-stained filing cabinet. A simple
cherrywood desk is here with the boss's laptop sitting on top.

You can see Your Boss here.

>i
You are carrying:
  The Majestic Hammer of Bastarddom
  Amsterdam Travel Photos
  a travel request form
  a swipe card
  a Cattle Prod

>show form to boss
"You want to go to Las Vegas? For five bloody days? For a MICROSOFT Conference?
Oh come on! You never took their products seriously.  What is it you usually
call them? 'Microshaft'? And how about that Bill Gatus of Borg Boardwatch poster
in your so-called office?"

Your boss stops ranting for a moment as he continues to scan the page.  His
frown tells you he's not happy with what he sees..."First class on United
Airlines?!?! A deluxe suite at the Venetian?!! No, this smells like a junket to
me.  You are not going.  No way.  No how."
>show pictures to boss
Your boss's head drops and he stares at his Teletubbies desk blotter for a
moment as he contemplates how completely you control his entire existence.  "I
suppose you really want to go to that conference in Las Vegas.", he says in a
very small, quiet and defeated tone.  He meekly takes your travel request form,
signs it and hands it back to you.

"You're a complete and utter bastard.  You know that, don't you?"
[Your score has just gone up by fifteen points.]

>xyzzy

As you mutter the magic word the screen on your boss's laptop suddenly
transforms! Where before was a spreadsheet with a few cells, (already pushing
the limits of your boss's brain capacity) a collection of the hottest, most
erotic pornography ever imagined has appeared!

When your boss notices the interesting change on his laptop his eyes go wide and
a small smile crosses his lips. Unfortunately for him, your CEO chooses that
exact moment to walk in and speak with the boss about something or other.  Your
CEO notices the plethora of fascinating sexual images on your boss' laptop and
opens and closes his mouth a few times as he tries to speak but is too shocked
and pissed off to form words. Finally some words come...

"Is this how you spend valuable company time?! Clean out your fucking desk and
hit the street, deadbeat."

[Your score has just gone up by ten points.]

>w

Open Plan Area

Stephen, a co-worker who suffers from intelligence deficiency is here. He looks
a bit stressed.

"You're our network administrator so please tell me why I can't send or receive
any email this morning. It was working fine last night!", he whines.
You get the impression that answering Stephen's question will be time-consuming
and painful.  You decide to take care of him as soon as the rest of your
Bastardly duties have been fulfilled.

>w

The Hell Desk
This medium-sized room looks very much like the IT department except there are
just four cubicles which are home to the technical support staff.  The
combination of no ventilation, strong body odor, poor shelving and gross
incompetence leaves a heady, almost metallic taste on your tounge.  This area
opens up to a larger room just west while a storage room is south.

>s

Storage Room
This non-descript store room is used mostly as an adhoc changing room for
employees that want to don "civilian clothes" when not in the office. A number
of suits - all in as-new condition - line the walls.

You can see a gray locker (which is closed) and a black locker here.

>open black
It seems to be locked.

>look at hammer
This hammer is a lovely example of it's kind with a well-insulated handle for
those quick "re-configure" jobs, a hefty head weight for those quick "unlocking"
jobs and the Boss' name written on it for those "framing" jobs.

>unlock black with hammer
You wield the Majestic Hammer of Bastarddom and feel its power flowing through
you as you start smashing the locker door with The Hammer (WHAM! WHAM! WHAM!).
After several good strong hits, the door to the locker just falls to the floor
dead.
>look

Storage Room
This non-descript store room is used mostly as an adhoc changing room for
employees that want to don "civilian clothes" when not in the office. A number
of suits - all in as-new condition - line the walls.

You can see a battered black locker door, a battered black locker (in which is
The Holy Grail of Employment Contracts) and a gray locker (which is closed)
here.

>take grail
Taken.

[Your score has just gone up by ten points.]

>n

The Hell Desk

>e

Open Plan Area

Stephen, a co-worker who suffers from intelligence deficiency is here. He looks
a bit stressed.

"You're our network administrator so please tell me why I can't send or receive
any email this morning. It was working fine last night!", he whines.
You get the impression that answering Stephen's question will be time-consuming
and painful.  You decide to take care of him as soon as the rest of your
Bastardly duties have been fulfilled.

>s

Corridor to IT Department

Your ears are whistle as they are assaulted by the loudest siren yet known in
human history.  You can't be sure but you think you hear some muffled yelling
and screaming accompanied by a continual pounding noise somewhere from the
south.

>listen
Your ears are whistling as they are assaulted by the loudest siren yet known in
human history.  You can't be sure but you think you hear some muffled yelling
and screaming accompanied by a continual pounding noise somewhere from the
south.
>s

Corridor to Mission Control

>listen
Your ears are whistling as they are assaulted by the loudest siren yet known in
human history.  You can't be sure but you think you hear some muffled yelling
and screaming accompanied by a continual pounding noise somewhere from the
south.
>s

Mission Control

On the desk are an inbox (in which is a note from your boss) and an outbox
(which is empty).

You can see an Armageddon-proof safe (which is empty) and Dave's Toshiba laptop
here.

>put travel in outbox
Which do you mean, the approved travel request form or Amsterdam Travel Photos?

>approved
A very-scared looking office menial runs in, grabs the contents of your outbox
and scurries out without a word.
[Your score has just gone up by ten points.]

>put contract in outbox
You hastily fill in your name thus completing the contract before dropping into
your outbox.
Just as the contract lands in the outbox, a frightened office-menial runs in,
grabs the contract and makes for the exit in record time.  Given how he always
seems to be so fearful, you search your mind for causes.  Oh yes.  The time you
electrified the door knob on your office door to keep out undesirables (your
boss, dumb co-workers, etc.).  He couldn't talk for a week afterwards.  All for
the best, though.  He learned his place in the world.
[Your score has just gone up by ten points.]

>score
You have so far scored 75 out of a possible 100, in 61 turns, earning you the
rank of Veteran Bastard.

>e

Entrance to Comms And Servers Area

The security door is closed and locked.

>w

Mission Control

On the desk are an inbox (in which are a travel itinerary and a note from your
boss) and an outbox (which is empty).

You can see an Armageddon-proof safe (which is empty) and Dave's Toshiba laptop
here.

>e

Entrance to Comms And Servers Area

The security door is closed and locked.

>unlock door with card
Because the fire system is activated, your swipe card cannot unlock this door.
>w

Mission Control

On the desk are an inbox (in which are a travel itinerary and a note from your
boss) and an outbox (which is empty).

You can see an Armageddon-proof safe (which is empty) and Dave's Toshiba laptop
here.

>n

Corridor to Mission Control

>n

Corridor to IT Department

Your ears are whistle as they are assaulted by the loudest siren yet known in
human history.  You can't be sure but you think you hear some muffled yelling
and screaming accompanied by a continual pounding noise somewhere from the
south.

>turn alarm off
You switch the Fire Alarm Panel off.

>s

Corridor to Mission Control

>s

Mission Control

On the desk are an inbox (in which are a travel itinerary and a note from your
boss) and an outbox (which is empty).

You can see an Armageddon-proof safe (which is empty) and Dave's Toshiba laptop
here.

>e

Entrance to Comms And Servers Area

The security door is closed and locked.

>unlock door with id
You unlock the steel door.

>open door
You open the steel door.

>e

Comms Room

>e

Server Room

You can see The traumitized technician (in whom is a screwdriver) here.

>look at tech
This drooling, moaning shadow of a man is sitting in the corner sucking his
thumb in a puddle of his own urine.  In general, the immediate vicinity
surrounding him smells like a porta-pottie after 10 hours of duty at Ozzfest.

You are mildly surprised at the effect the fire systems had on him.  You had no
idea that being sprayed with fire-fighting Halon while in a sealed room with a
cut-off oxygen supply combined with a screaming, deafening alarm could have such
an effect on a human.

>w

Comms Room

>w

Entrance to Comms And Servers Area

The security door is open leading into the Comms Room

>w

Mission Control

On the desk are an inbox (in which are a travel itinerary and a note from your
boss) and an outbox (which is empty).

You can see an Armageddon-proof safe (which is empty) and Dave's Toshiba laptop
here.

>n

Corridor to Mission Control

>n

Corridor to IT Department

You can see a Fire Alarm Panel here.

>i
You are carrying:
  The Majestic Hammer of Bastarddom
  Amsterdam Travel Photos
  a swipe card
  a Cattle Prod

>s

Corridor to Mission Control

>s

Mission Control

On the desk are an inbox (in which are a travel itinerary and a note from your
boss) and an outbox (which is empty).

You can see an Armageddon-proof safe (which is empty) and Dave's Toshiba laptop
here.

>take itinerary
Taken.

>n

Corridor to Mission Control

>n

Corridor to IT Department

You can see a Fire Alarm Panel here.

>n

Open Plan Area

Stephen, a co-worker who suffers from intelligence deficiency is here. He looks
a bit stressed.

"You're our network administrator so please tell me why I can't send or receive
any email this morning. It was working fine last night!", he whines.
You get the impression that answering Stephen's question will be time-consuming
and painful.  You decide to take care of him as soon as the rest of your
Bastardly duties have been fulfilled.

>solar-flares

[Dummy Mode: ON]

"Solar-flares you say? You know, I remember hearing something on the news
about... Hey wait a second...

[Dummy Mode: OFF]

"Do you seriously expect me to believe that I can't get or send email because of
bloody SOLAR FLARES! You bastard! You always do this to people! You terrorize
us, you give us bullshit excuses as a defense for your laziness and we cower
like frightenend animals!! No more I tell you!!"

Not quite believing what you are hearing (that he found his backbone and
actually started using it coupled with his gross lack of respect) you back away
a bit as he comes toward you with hate in his eye and menace in his posture. 
You do the only thing you can do; you wield your mighty cattle prod in self
defense and zap Stephen with it!

He tumbles to the ground like a wet sack full of potatoes, his tongue lolling
out of his mouth.  You're pretty sure he won't get so uppity with you again.

Just then your CEO approaches you, accompanied by two burly security guards!

The CEO studies Stephen's prone, unconscious body, "Ah, we can see you're very,
er, stressed at the moment.  I just finished reading an HR pamphlet about stress
in the workplace.  I think it's best you leave for the Las Vegas junket, er
conference your boss told me about early and relax a bit.  Perhaps you can visit
a couple of vendors we deal with.  You can return to work fresh and
rejuvenated."

And with that the two burly security guards accompany you out of the building to
a waiting limousine that immediately shuttles you off to the airport.  Your
escorts guide you directly to the security checkpoint, bid you adieu and tell
you in no uncertain terms that they are NOT looking forward to your return!

Venetian Hotel, Main Lobby
Your neck develops an ache as you crane your head up to take in the breakthaking
frescoes, icons and gold lining the ceiling (perhaps 50 feet up) in this
cavernous lobby.  In the dead center of the room is a huge marble fountain with
a beautiful globe through which water trickles.  A mammoth hallway is west while
the front desk is directly north while the hotel's exit is south.

[Your score has just gone up by ten points.]

>score
You have so far scored 85 out of a possible 100, in 90 turns, earning you the
rank of Veteran Bastard.

>n

Venetian Hotel, Front Desk
The front desk of the Venetian Hotel is a monument to the guest services
industry.  Roughly 250 feet wide, the desk area accomodates ten employees who
are milling about As your reservations are for a suite, you walk past the
"commoners" line and are ready to be served.

You can see a Guest Services Representative here.

>look at representative
This beautiful, young woman has a single mission in life - to make you and every
other guest of The Venetian blissfully happy.  You silently wonder at those
possibilities as you study her beautiful brown hair, soft dewey eyes and tight
white silk shirt framed in a colorful vest inspired by the Italian Renaissance
period. According to her nametag, she is called Kim.  According to your game
plan, she is called fair game.

>kiss kim
You really are a smooth Bastard for trying that but the front desk is just too
big to allow you close enough.

>give itinerary to kim
"Just a moment sir while I pull up your resevation...."

"Ah here we go.  Your boss called ahead and changed your reservation. Apparently
he downgraded you to our standard suite rather than the deluxe.  [clickety
click] She hands you your room key, flashes you a pretty smile as she says
"You're in room 14-210. Enjoy your stay at The Venetian!", and with that she
heads off to parts unknown.

You stand at the frontdesk dumbfounded.  You cannot believe your boss had the
audacity to tamper with YOUR reservations.  There is only one penalty sufficient
for this transgression.  As soon as you return to the office you're going to
downgrade his career with the Amsterdam Travel Photos in your safe.  First, they
will be widely-distributed to every newspaper in the city, then to every trade
publication on the planet as well as posted to each and every newsgroup and
finally they will also be published on your website "a-holebosses.org"

What's more pressing right now is how are you going to get your reservation
restored to its original, untampered form?
>s

Venetian Hotel, Main Lobby

>w

Venetian Hotel, Grand Hall
As you walk down this long, wide and very tall corridor you cannot help but
wonder who was inspired to construct an area so large and so majestic. 
Beautiful works of art adorn the ceilings while gold crest adorns the high walls
which are held up there by Roman columns of great height.  The polished imported
Italian marble floor shines almost-blindingly as its brownish-gold cubes capture
and reflect the light hither and yon. The sheer maginificence of this hall has
the power to move even your cold, Bastardly heart.

>e

Venetian Hotel, Main Lobby

>s

Venetian Hotel, Main Entrance
Times Square has the peace and tranquility of a country meadow when compared to
this traffic hub of the Venetian Hotel.  Limousines and taxis are continually
arriving and departing while bellboys shuttle the luggage of arriving and
departing guests to and from vehicles of every kind. Occasionally you spot a
valet running at full speed towards the parking garage with a set of keys in his
hand.  You spot no less than fifty guests of the Venetian busily about the
business of settling in or moving on.

>n

Venetian Hotel, Main Lobby

>w

Venetian Hotel, Grand Hall

>w

Venetian Hotel, Junction
Your ears prick up as continual jingling, jangling, beeping and whistling fills
yours.  A quick glance upwards confirms your suspicions; the casino is directly
ahead to the west while Restaurant Row and the entrance to the Grand Canal shops
branches off to the northeast.  As you take in all the sights and sounds your
feet hand you late-breaking news. It seems as if you are walking on pillows. 
Actually, you look down and notice the polished marble floor has ended and
plush, deep brown carpeting continues in its place.

>w

Venetian Hotel, Casino
The beeping, booping, dinging and the occasional shouts of "Wheel...of...
Fortune!" from distant slot machines is almost hypnotic.  The sound of jingling
coins signalling a payout is encouraging.  Cigarette smoke is seen everywhere
wafting towards the ceiling where several black glass globes known as "Eyes in
The Sky" look down upon every visitor. As you study the many gaming tables you
see beautifully dressed women and dapper gentlemen engaged in their favorite
game of chance.  Despite the early morning hour, it's quite busy. You can't spot
a free seat anywhere.  The casino floor extends out in all directions for as far
as you can see.

>s

Venetian Hotel, Casino (By the Network Center)
The seemingly endless number of slot machines continues here as well three card
poker tables.  Beautiful cocktail waitresses wearing  very sexy uniforms that
are very low cut in the front as well being very short rocket past you
constantly carrying their full and empty drinks trays. You steal more than an
occasional glance of cleavage here and some tush there before they disappear
into the crowds.

A steel door etched with very serious-looking letters is not completely closed.

You can also see a cocktail waitress here.

>look at waitress
This girl is a stunning example of a Las Vegas beauty with a very full and
promising bustline and a too-short skirt showing the ample goods most skirts are
designed to conceal.  Her hair and makeup are composed perfectly despite the
fact that she is in a continual state of motion.  Even now, this beauty is
walking at a very fast clip off to deliver drinks to the players.

>look

Venetian Hotel, Casino (By the Network Center)
The seemingly endless number of slot machines continues here as well three card
poker tables.  Beautiful cocktail waitresses wearing  very sexy uniforms that
are very low cut in the front as well being very short rocket past you
constantly carrying their full and empty drinks trays. You steal more than an
occasional glance of cleavage here and some tush there before they disappear
into the crowds.

A steel door etched with very serious-looking letters is not completely closed.

You can also see a cocktail waitress here.

>look at door
This is a simple metal door with a push-button combination lock built into the
door handle.  A large sign simply says

"Network Operations Closet.
  Authorized Personnel Only. 
  DO NOT ENTER"

Shit.  Why didn't they just mail you a gold-inlaid invitation?

>e

Venetian Hotel, Network Operations Center
Misson Control is a prehistoric cave with all the trappings in comparison to the
treasure trove here.  You are deeply impressed by the neatest displays of
computers, security cameras and related wiring. You feel a tingling in your
pants and awe in your heart as you look upon the Nirvanna of network centers. 
You quickly conclude that this must be the nerve center of the entire Venetian. 
You are convinced that only a fellow Bastard could run such a proper operation.

A steel door etched with very serious-looking letters is not completely closed.

You can also see a master power switch, a fire alarm switch and a Hotel
Reseervations Server here.

>look at server
This single computer is the key to all guest accomodations at the Venetian.  The
keyboard has a small template which reads "Commands: "Cancel" and "Upgrade". 
Connected directly to the computer is a smartcard reader.

>turn alarm off
That's already off.

>turn alarm on
As soon as you throw the switch your room all hell breaks loose! Outside this
room you hear the thunder of stampeding gamblers running for the exits! Lots of
shouts and screams can be heard also! You hear the [click] of an electronic lock
and realize the lock on the steel door has received a signal to secure itself,
no doubt due to the fire alarm.
[Your score has just gone up by five points.]

>look

Venetian Hotel, Network Operations Center
Misson Control is a prehistoric cave with all the trappings in comparison to the
treasure trove here.  You are deeply impressed by the neatest displays of
computers, security cameras and related wiring. You feel a tingling in your
pants and awe in your heart as you look upon the Nirvanna of network centers. 
You quickly conclude that this must be the nerve center of the entire Venetian. 
You are convinced that only a fellow Bastard could run such a proper operation.

The Network Operations door is closed.


An extremely loud fire siren can be heard from all directions. It's extreme
volume makes it difficult for you to think.  You suspect your ear drums may be
piereced but that doesn't help you stifle your giggling as you realize that
outside this room the entire hotel and everybody in it is totally out-of-control

You can also see a master power switch and a Hotel Reseervations Server here.

>score
You have so far scored 90 out of a possible 100, in 111 turns, earning you the
rank of Heir Apparent to the Throne of the Grand Bastard.

>turn power off
As soon as you throw the switch your room (and the rest of the hotel) is plunged
into darkness.  Behind you, the sound of the steel door closing and locking can
be heard. [Note3]  Just then a small emergency backup light comes on
illuminating the room dimly. Your mind is filled with images of chaos in the spa
as manicurists slip and ruin fingernails, hairstylists mangling client coifs,
waiters running into chairs and spilling their large platter holding steaming
bowls of soup onto the laps of waiting patrons and a gondola sinking in the
Grand Canal.  This is Bastarddom at it's best!
[Your score has just gone up by five points.]

>undo
Venetian Hotel, Network Operations Center
[Previous turn undone.]

>turn alarm off
You switch the fire alarm switch off.

>look

Venetian Hotel, Network Operations Center
Misson Control is a prehistoric cave with all the trappings in comparison to the
treasure trove here.  You are deeply impressed by the neatest displays of
computers, security cameras and related wiring. You feel a tingling in your
pants and awe in your heart as you look upon the Nirvanna of network centers. 
You quickly conclude that this must be the nerve center of the entire Venetian. 
You are convinced that only a fellow Bastard could run such a proper operation.

The Network Operations door is closed.

You can also see a master power switch, a fire alarm switch and a Hotel
Reseervations Server here.

>turn power off
As soon as you throw the switch your room (and the rest of the hotel) is plunged
into darkness.  Behind you, the sound of the steel door closing and locking can
be heard. [Note3]  Just then a small emergency backup light comes on
illuminating the room dimly. Your mind is filled with images of chaos in the spa
as manicurists slip and ruin fingernails, hairstylists mangling client coifs,
waiters running into chairs and spilling their large platter holding steaming
bowls of soup onto the laps of waiting patrons and a gondola sinking in the
Grand Canal.  This is Bastarddom at it's best!
[Your score has just gone up by five points.]

>turn alarm off
That's already off.

>turn alarm on
Ok, ok you made your point.  You might get caught if you don't stop!
>listen
You hear nothing unexpected.

>look

Venetian Hotel, Network Operations Center
Misson Control is a prehistoric cave with all the trappings in comparison to the
treasure trove here.  You are deeply impressed by the neatest displays of
computers, security cameras and related wiring. You feel a tingling in your
pants and awe in your heart as you look upon the Nirvanna of network centers. 
You quickly conclude that this must be the nerve center of the entire Venetian. 
You are convinced that only a fellow Bastard could run such a proper operation.

The Network Operations door is closed.

Except for several little green lights you are in total darkness. Outside you
hear a loud commotion and a lot of yelling and screaming!


An extremely loud fire siren can be heard from all directions. It's extreme
volume makes it difficult for you to think.  You suspect your ear drums may be
piereced but that doesn't help you stifle your giggling as you realize that
outside this room the entire hotel and everybody in it is totally out-of-control

You can also see a Hotel Reseervations Server here.

>look at server
This single computer is the key to all guest accomodations at the Venetian.  The
keyboard has a small template which reads "Commands: "Cancel" and "Upgrade". 
Connected directly to the computer is a smartcard reader.

>upgrade
You slide your room key into the card reader and type upgrade on the keyboard.
COMPUTER: Guest reservation changed.  Old Room:14-210.  New room:14-202" 

Having worked your bastardly magic to good effect you have upgraded your room to
one of the best suites in the hotel!

    *** You have won ***


In that game you scored 105 out of a possible 100, in 119 turns, earning you the
rank of Heir Apparent to the Throne of the Grand Bastard.

Would you like to RESTART, RESTORE a saved game, UNDO your last move, see some
suggestions for AMUSING things to do or QUIT?
> amusing



Have you tried...
Typing xyzzy in Mission Control and the Boss' office? 
Looking at the tapes in the Tape Store? 
Looking at the bookcase in the Boss' office? 
Taking the pants in Pal Zileri's in the Grand Canal? 
Taking Dave's laptop (that's an inside joke Simon asked me to include) 
Looking ("look") in the server room a few times? 
Typing "MCSE" anywhere?
Would you like to RESTART, RESTORE a saved game, UNDO your last move, see some
suggestions for AMUSING things to do or QUIT?
> script
Please give one of the answers above.
> undo
Venetian Hotel, Network Operations Center
[Previous turn undone.]

>script off

End of transcript.


MORE NOTES -- This walkthru was developed BEFORE I fixed a few bugs and added
some more descriptions.  For example, you cannot score 105 out of 100 points
in the final release. :)

